Is it a good thing to be perceived as a "Nice Guy".

[TheOnE111]

Even if u dont throw out a bunch of compliments, an give things, an all that other **** nice guys do? Cuz im naturally a good natured guy. I just dont throw out compliments, and give presents an stuff that other nice guys do.

Is that a bad thing? can one be a dj and at the sametime be seen as a "nicer" guy?

 

[Canadian Catnip]

Even if u dont throw out a bunch of compliments, an give things, an all that other **** nice guys do? Cuz im naturally a good natured guy. I just dont throw out compliments, and give presents an stuff that other nice guys do.

Is that a bad thing? can one be a dj and at the sametime be seen as a "nicer" guy?

I think being even headed and unflappable is a good quality. If you lose your cool over simple things then you come across as childish and immature.

If you give out complements all the time if comes off as needy.

So I distinguish between a nice guy and a cool guy. Cool guys are nice to you but don't take sh!t and don't supplicate.

Good natured is different than nice. I think nice is neediness in disguise.

 

[crossboss]

I think being a nice guy

Is good. As long as you aren't fake. A lot of AFC's tend to be fake, and believe they are a nice guy when not. A nice guy that is real won't try and give to get play. Instead does it because he believe's it is the right thing.

A nice guy will only get you so far, by itself. Just because you are nice, like any DJ tactic must work well other things.

 

[reset]

read this thread

 

[TheOnE111]

i see wut u mean. i used to do all those things bac in high school. but ive learned a great deal since then.

 

[Francisco d'Anconia]

Some of you guys really need to talk to some women who will tell you the honest truth on how they feel about nice guys.

 

[penkitten]

i dated a nice guy once.
he didn't last long.
he had no opinions.
when it was time to go somewhere, i would say "where are we going?"
he would say "anywhere you want" every time.
it got old.
when we would talk, he had no opinion.
"whatcha in the mood to talk about"?
"anything you want."
that got old.

when you bend over backwards to be sooo nice that you lose yourself and all your thoughts and opinions just to continue to impress someone .... you become the nice guy.

the nice guy has a hard time bouncing back. his confidence sinks to an all time low based on what he perceives as everyone else's opinion about him.

often times he becomes a door mat to women who use this opportunity to use his "niceness" however they see fit to help them in any way they see fit which is just wrong. the kicker of this is, the guy who became so nice, does not even see how badly he is being treated until long after things are over.

in a lot of cases, women make the nice guy their friend, because they are looking for someone who has some sort of drive of his own, however they do not want to hurt the nice guys feelings. this actually ends up hurting his self esteem more because no one was straight with him about it.

this is why every man will tell you nice guys finish last.

thread starter: it is ok to be laid back and cool and good natured and good hearted without turning into the "nice guy" trap.

 

[Scorched]

TheOnE111 - Wait did your ex-girlfriend call you a nice guy? Who called you a nice guy? If it was like a friend telling a girl you are interested in that you are a nice guy. Then that is positive social proof.

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I am betting TheOnE111 seeks to find the fine line between being too nice a being a jerk. Naturally your personality will develop around it. This forum will push your logic. Seriously though, it is really just an attitude. Basically you treat her like her father did. Canadian Catnip has a good point about keeping your cool. Also stay mature and make the decisions in the relationship. Keep her challenged. Although in the end the only thing that matters is how confident you are.
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[lupowitz]

Nice guys either become platonic confidantes to hot chicks, or they get to be rebound dude to hot chicks that dated *******s before. Either way, you don't end up with a hot chick in the long term.

Don't try toooo hard to make her happy, because she'll take you for granted in no time. Be unexpectedly nice, at random moments, but never predictable.

 

[Francisco d'Anconia]

i dated a nice guy once.
he didn't last long. ...

That's typically how most women answer and then go into an explanation about what the guy didn't do or how boring he was. It's not as if they didn't get along but there is seldom mutual excitement. How often do you ever hear a woman describe a guy as a "passionate nice guy?"

When a woman is really into a guy, she seldom describes him her girlfriends by saying "Oh, he is so nice." Damn, it even sounds boring. "Nice" seems to be a way for guys to justify not being "exciting."

 

[mrRuckus]

i dated a nice guy once.
he didn't last long.
he had no opinions..

Opinions are not appreciated by women either except on completely insignificant things.

That's typically how most women answer and then go into an explanation about what the guy didn't do or how boring he was.

Here we are back to women expect you to entertain. Yet nearly all of them are boring as hell. All they do is sit there reacting to what you do and praising or booing you in judgement to your performance so you can feel good about yourself for being able to be a jester for a girl.

 

[Interceptor]

This is proof that mostly women don't really care abou twhatthey are interested in.
They want to be taken away into OUR World.
That;s what they want.
That's waht they mean by mean "Leading".
We lead them into our world.
Don't supplicate to women, because that;s not what they want.
This is should only convince you more to be more involved with your deisres and passions and interests than hers.
Create your World, so that she can enjoy being in it.
She doesnt want to be in Her world with you. She wants to be in YOUR World.
Don't give her the power becasue secretly She doesn't want it!!!
She wants YOU to lead.
She wants you to do the things YOU like.
So do what YOU Like!

If she likes you, she'll tag along! She'll accompany you into your world!

When "nice guy" didn't have opinions and just gave in to Pen's whims, this translated to Pen as "I have no life. As my life revolves only arouond you. I have no passions, desires, or ambitions. Except to life for you. Your opinioons are mine!"
This is a total turn off.

This guy had no World. No life. No passions. No ambitions.

He could not and did NOT "create: HIS "World".
That's why Pen got bored and turned off...
becasue there was NO PLACE TP GO WITH HIM.
You guys understand?
You see why Pook's teachings and the ultimate goal of the Don Juan is to Unite Dream and Day? And create your Dream Life?

This is YOUR WORLD.
the woman want in it!!
They know their world is shallow.
The want a Man's world.
They want to fit in it. They want to feel Feminine.
And they can't do that when they have no place (you don't have your world) to go.
This is part iof the reason why women cheat with Married men with kids and a house.
They have "World".
This is what women want.
They want "IN" to your world!

This is part of the equation that Masculine men follow:
Lover
Provider
Hunter
Warrior
The Provider part is the tangible part of the other three traits.
If you have that one down, in that you created "World", then she begins to be intereste din the other three parts.
The additional traits are thatyou have passions and interests and hobbies.
You don't have to eb a freakin' Indiana Jones.
But have some hobbies.
Gutiar playing
Yoga
Bodybuilding
Painting
Music
Art
Wine collecting
Antiquer collecting
Skydiving
Martial Arts
Philosophy
Psychology

etc etc

You MUST have these additional qualities to be a well rounded worl;dy, and cultural Man.
You enhance your self realized masculinty, and add to the Core Four Masculine traits.
These are imperative!
So do something with your life.
Have a passion, interrest, hobby.
Have many.
Because like flowers in a garden, your passions only add to your experience and ultimately to your human value to society.
And as an added bonus increase your Attractiveness to women.
Follow the Four Masculine Traits, and enhance yourself with the pasions and pursuits of your soul.
No one will ever call you boring or "too nice".

 

[Alphamale1821]

Theirs a difference in being a "Nice Guy" and a "nice guy". The Nice Guy(negative social) is perceived as the ass kisser and one who has bought into women want to be treated like princess all the time and you need to constantly complement them, and blah blah. However the "nice guy"(positive social) is the guy who is confident in himself and doesn't have to be overly ****y or an *******. For example I just consider myself an Alpha male and that’s about the only category I put myself in. I'm unique and I’m a nice guy as in I like to help people. I also do all the chivalry things for women like open the door, ladies first etc. However I can also be a ****y ass hole at times, but that’s just who I am.

The difference is Nice Guys finish last because they are truly AFC's who don't know how to get women as opposed to a genuine "nice guy" because he is kind natured but he is confident in himself and he does nice things for people because it makes him feel good. The Nice Guy does things for women because he feel like "he needs to" because he has no confidence, as opposed to the nice guy who does it because "he wants to". It's all about the confidence.

 

[On Point]

This is a subject near and dear to my heart. When I came to this site I was a complete nice guy AFC. My last relationship fell apart because of all the reasons you reference.

I wasn't acting this way out of weakness, I was just very misguided. Lots of women told me I was "the nicest guy they've met". Now that I've changed I'm doing much better, women tell me I'm bold, outgoing.

Fundamentally I still have the same values and am basically the same person, but I'm being perceived totally differently. Being a strong value driven person is good. Being perceived as a nice guy is the kiss of death with woman.

 

[TheOnE111]

Basically im asking cuz this chic im interested in told my sis, that i seemed like a nice guy. So i guess its not that big of a deal.

 

[TheOnE111]

Sry about the dbl post.

 

[naes420]

Even if u dont throw out a bunch of compliments, an give things, an all that other **** nice guys do? Cuz im naturally a good natured guy. I just dont throw out compliments, and give presents an stuff that other nice guys do.

Is that a bad thing? can one be a dj and at the sametime be seen as a "nicer" guy?

you can be preconceived as whatever you want its how you play that role that counts