is it a good idea to fall in love?

[zekko]

I think having those feelings of being in love are okay, but make sure you don't love her more than she loves you. That's what's important. The one who loves the most has the least power in the relationship and is usually the one that gets kicked to the curb

What a sad, cynical, jaded, pathetic thing to say. To take a thing like love and reduce it down to a power game, that is truly revolting. However, I have to agree with you.
The problem is that the person who is loved more will feel more valued, and when the person feels they have higher value they will start thinking they can get a higher value mate. There's the temptation. Or they can stay in the relationship and maintain the "upper hand", or "frame" as some call it.

I prefer to have the frame myself because I trust myself with what to do with it. You never know what the other person is thinking.

And yeah, falling in love does often lead to oneitis. I see it all the time.

I thought falling in love WAS oneitis actually. Sort of like a code word. I think it's all the same thing. Some people say if it's unhealthy it isn't love, it's infatuation. But I think it's all the same thing, the same emotion. If you love someone who doesn't love you back, people try to cushion the blow by saying "that's not really love, it's infatuation". Or oneitis, I guess.

 

[SchoolBoy]

What a sad, cynical, jaded, pathetic thing to say. To take a thing like love and reduce it down to a power game, that is truly revolting. However, I have to agree with you.
The problem is that the person who is loved more will feel more valued, and when the person feels they have higher value they will start thinking they can get a higher value mate. There's the temptation. Or they can stay in the relationship and maintain the "upper hand", or "frame" as some call it.

I prefer to have the frame myself because I trust myself with what to do with it. You never know what the other person is thinking.


I thought falling in love WAS oneitis actually. Sort of like a code word. I think it's all the same thing. Some people say if it's unhealthy it isn't love, it's infatuation. But I think it's all the same thing, the same emotion. If you love someone who doesn't love you back, people try to cushion the blow by saying "that's not really love, it's infatuation". Or oneitis, I guess.

I agree it is a cynical way of thinking. Love can either be a power game or something that's natural. It's in the way you perceive it. Many of the teachings on this site says that love can be triggered by certain actions.

I believe in the words that Albert Einstein said:
"There are only two ways to live your life. One is as though nothing is a miracle. The other is as though everything is a miracle."

I believe the way you think determines whether falling in love is a good thing or bad thing. If love to you is a constant power struggle and a mechanical game, then you won't find happiness in it.

If you see love as a natural phenomenon and embrace it as it is, you can live in a world of happiness.

Love can be a power struggle or a mechanical game, if you really look deep into it, biological and psychologically. But does understanding the truth really make us happy?

The argument is, is ignorance really bliss? Is it better to take the red pill instead of the blue pill?

Most of us can be jaded by love, if we let the past heartbreaks get to us. It's a survival mechanism because we don't want to get hurt again and experience the pain of a lost love.

But being "on guard" all the time, lessen the amount we can truly express ourselves, which is quite detrimental to our self well-being.

Many teachings of this site is geared towards getting layed. Love on the other hand is an entirely different thing.

In my personal opinion, love is more of an action than a feeling. Infatuation is where you feel like you "love" something and feel as though you want them so bad where you'd be willing to go to great lengths to achieve that.

Love is simply an action. It's what you do that shows love. It's not something that you just "feel".

We all wanna find love someday, even the hardcore players who are total womanizers. We humans are very social creatures and naturally dislike the feeling of loneliness. I mean isn't that why we're on this site in the first place?

To conclude what I'm saying, love is a good thing if you let it be. If can be a bad thing if you let it be. It's all in how you perceive reality.

-SchoolBoy​

 

[Dante420]

yes, its ok.

You'll get hurt at times, thats ok to. You'll live.

Just because you choose to accept that you may be "in love"
doesn't mean you have to act like a douche bag (afc).

definitely this

 

[starplayer]

I believe the way you think determines whether falling in love is a good thing or bad thing. If love to you is a constant power struggle and a mechanical game, then you won't find happiness in it.

If you see love as a natural phenomenon and embrace it as it is, you can live in a world of happiness.

Love can be a power struggle or a mechanical game, if you really look deep into it, biological and psychologically. But does understanding the truth really make us happy?

The argument is, is ignorance really bliss? Is it better to take the red pill instead of the blue pill?

That's the whole point of this place. Learning the truth about it all doesn't make me particularly happy - maybe slightly confused and disappointed after I've been lied to all my life. I wish the world didn't have to be this way but it is.

But now we know the truth we may as well use it to our advantage.

Many teachings of this site is geared towards getting layed. Love on the other hand is an entirely different thing.

No it's not entirely different. Love is very much linked to getting laid.

We all wanna find love someday, even the hardcore players who are total womanizers. We humans are very social creatures and naturally dislike the feeling of loneliness. I mean isn't that why we're on this site in the first place?

Well the reason they became cold-hearted players and womanizers in the first place is because they realize love is bullsh!t.



I think a lot of guys don't wanna let go of all their old views and only go halfway down the rabbit hole. They accept some of the truth about women, but refuse to accept that the disney version of "love" doesn't exist. It's a lie. There is no "soul mate", there is no "one". Love is not some unexplainable mystical and spiritual energy. It's chemicals in the brain triggered by certain biological responses. Accept it.

Maybe I sound bitter and cynical. But if you're gonna take the red pill and go down the rabbit hole, you may as well go the whole way and come out on the other side, instead of getting stuck halfway and clinging to romantic ideas of "love".

 

[zekko]

Well the reason they became cold-hearted players and womanizers in the first place is because they realize love is bullsh!t.

Here's something I don't understand about the "pickup community". I hear a lot of people talking about how women are all BS, they will all cheat on you, they are all ruined by western society, etc. So their solution is to...become more skilled at getting women? If women are such sh!t, why not just cut them out of your life all together? Take a higher path and all?

No it's not entirely different. Love is very much linked to getting laid.

SchoolBoy has a point though, in that this forum is geared much more toward getting laid than LTRs. Most seduction material is geared 90% toward nightclubs, not really the most fertile breeding ground for building long term relationships.

 

[starplayer]

Here's something I don't understand about the "pickup community". I hear a lot of people talking about how women are all BS, they will all cheat on you, they are all ruined by western society, etc. So their solution is to...become more skilled at getting women? If women are such sh!t, why not just cut them out of your life all together? Take a higher path and all?

Ever heard the saying about women - "Can't live with them, can't live without them"

As much as they are a headache, they still have something we want.

The community is about not getting taken advantage of by women (getting cheated on, spending time and money on attention wh0res, etc.)

In addition, it's about using the liberation of women against itself to meet our needs (getting laid).

The way the world is today, men are better off going after no strings attached sex than going after a LTR / marriage.

Women have their priorities and we have ours. The battle of the sexes is more violent than ever.

SchoolBoy has a point though, in that this forum is geared much more toward getting laid than LTRs. Most seduction material is geared 90% toward nightclubs, not really the most fertile breeding ground for building long term relationships.

Yes but it's still not OK to start going AFC and opening up too much, even in a LTR. You hear enough stories about relationships going to sh!t on this forum when the guy slipped back into an AFC. The game never ends, ever.

And guys should never get into an LTR until they're already able to lay a lot of girls. They should be entering the relationship from a place of strength, not desperation (ie. she is the best of many options, not his ONLY option).

You can't opt out of the whole seduction thing and just settle for a relationship. The way it works, you either get MANY women or you get NO women. It's very hard to keep just one.

 

[Nexus Polaris]

As long as you always remember to love, honor, and respect yourself first, there's absolutely nothing wrong with it. But the minute you find yourself putting her above you, you're back to AFCville.