Is it a bad move to directly ask if a girl has a boyfriend?

[ElGuapo]

There's this one girl I recently met who is very friendly. She seems to enjoy my company, she laughs at my jokes more than most people (I know I'm not that funny) and she is always down to talk. Anyway, I've been told that she has a boyfriend (who lives very far away). People claim they've seen her on her laptop Skyping with this guy. They seem to be pretty sure. But, she's made absolutely no mention of him and her Facebook page doesn't have a relationship status. I haven't seen any pictures that would indicate that she has a boyfriend.

You'd think she would have mentioned him by now. In my experience, most girls bring it up pretty quickly if they do have a boyfriend. So should I just proceed as if she doesn't have a boyfriend or should I ask straight up? If she does have a boyfriend, it doesn't mean it's over with her. Distance relationships rarely work out.....especially in my line of work. It's very stressful and I've seen it tear apart even the most picture perfect married couples.

If she does have a boyfriend, I just want to hang back and be there when the distance relationship almost inevitably falls apart.

 

[Robert28]

act as if you have no clue if she has a b/f or not, much less care if she does. if shes not talking about him then why worry about it? ask her out sometime. don't make it sound like a date, just find some kind of activity the two of you could do and have fun doing. if she has a serious b/f she'll mention it then, if not then she'll most likely take you up on your offer.

 

[sodbuster]

If she hasn't mentioned him, ask her out-he may just slip her mind

 

[Igetit!]

There's this one girl I recently met who is very friendly. She seems to enjoy my company, she laughs at my jokes more than most people (I know I'm not that funny) and she is always down to talk.

You'd think she would have mentioned him by now.

I don't think it's a bad thing to ask a girl directly if she has a boyfriend,however,it depends on the length of time you've known her.
If you mean during the first few minutes of meeting her,fine,go ahead and ask her. But from what you've written here,it seems like you have a slight history with the girl. You say she's always down to talk,and "you'd think she would have mentioned him by now". So obviously,you've known her for a little while. But just to be sure not to assume anything,how long have you known her?

Also,how often do you two talk to each other,and what do you talk aboout?

If she does have a boyfriend, I just want to hang back and be there when the distance relationship almost inevitably falls apart.

DON'T DO THIS.

Don't sit around waiting for her relationship to come to an end. That's foolish.

Go out,live your live,meet other girls. Don't put your dating life on pause waiting for this girl. If her relationship end,and you happen to be single at the time,then fine. But just to lay back like you're in a lazy boy chair with your arms folded and feet proped up waiting,don't do that.

You might end up waiting for the next 8 or 9 months,only to find out that she doesn't even like you. Then that'll be almost a year of your life lost,a year that you can't get back.

Never put your life on hold for a girl,I don't care how "hot" she is.

 

[Poonani Maker]

Women are branch-swingers, guys will bang another woman in a heartbeat. Be the branch she decides to swing to. Hold out your hand, and make it easy for her to swing to you. Build a bridge, make it effortless for her.

 

[ElGuapo]

I don't think it's a bad thing to ask a girl directly if she has a boyfriend,however,it depends on the length of time you've known her.
If you mean during the first few minutes of meeting her,fine,go ahead and ask her. But from what you've written here,it seems like you have a slight history with the girl. You say she's always down to talk,and "you'd think she would have mentioned him by now". So obviously,you've known her for a little while. But just to be sure not to assume anything,how long have you known her?

Also,how often do you two talk to each other,and what do you talk aboout?

I've known of her for several weeks. Basically we study in the same part of the library....a secluded part that not many people go to. Before we'd say nothing more than a polite "hello" to each other.

I opened her several weeks ago by commenting on what she was studying. At first she wasn't all that friendly; she seems very motivated academically. Since then she became more friendly and especially this past week, she's been very friendly.

Now we always chat about random stuff for at least 10-15 minutes every time we run into each other. I ran into her at a bar just before closing time last Friday and I just said "hey" but I was pretty surprised by how friendly she was. We chatted for a good half hour before they kicked everyone out.

Today, I got a good chunk of studying done and I wanted to take a break. So I walked up to her, interrupted her in the middle of her studying and said she should come take a break with me outside for 5 minutes. We ended up chatting for over 20 minutes until it was time for her to go to the gym.

DON'T DO THIS.

Don't sit around waiting for her relationship to come to an end. That's foolish.

Go out,live your live,meet other girls. Don't put your dating life on pause waiting for this girl. If her relationship end,and you happen to be single at the time,then fine. But just to lay back like you're in a lazy boy chair with your arms folded and feet proped up waiting,don't do that.

You might end up waiting for the next 8 or 9 months,only to find out that she doesn't even like you. Then that'll be almost a year of your life lost,a year that you can't get back.

Never put your life on hold for a girl,I don't care how "hot" she is.

I didn't mean to imply that I'd put my dating life on hold. I have other options that I'm working on at the same time. This one just looks promising.

 

[Mike32ct]

If you absolutely must know, you could jokingly ask her "So when are you getting married LOL?" Make sure it's done in a very playful, fun way, not serious.

If she's in any kind of relationship, she will probably mention it. It's funnier with younger girls.

 

[Commandante]

Hey, I think this is a typical "What would Clint Eastwood do?" situation. Would CE care about the other guy? Absolutely not. Never ever. So be a MAN, and don´t give a shvt about the other guy. He doesn´t even exist, so don´t bother the girl asking about him.

You said, she is studying hard. Great! You too. And after a hard work both of you need a bit time off. Ask her going out with you to have some fun. Don´t forget, it´s not a date. It´s only "having fun". At the second - third occasion make her clear that you want more. Don´t wait more than 3 "dates" (1 or 2 weeks), otherwise you will be her next (not boy)friend. If she is in, without mentioning the other guy, then everthing is OK. If she stops and tells you about her distance relationship, change tactic. Be surprised. I mean really surprised!. Hey, this is new for you! Here is a nice girl. You spend a lot of time together. She tells you everything important about her life, except one thing. Why? Maybe because this one thing isn´t that important? And an unimportant distance relationship is going to die. And being in a dying relationship compared to the opportunity of being with you - don´t forget, you are not a face on skype, you are CE himself - is worthless for her. This must be what you are thinking, and make sure, that she thinks the same. But never, I repeat never tell her your thoughts like this. It would be too rational, and girls don´t like rationality. They like emotions.

If she want´s to stay with the other guy, then forget her. There are tons of nice girs out there! Find an other one!

Sorry for my english. Would be great to hier how your story ended up!

 

[WaterTiger]

Nothing wrong with being a little bold either!

"Hey! Would your boyfirend mind if we started dating?"

Her answer will tell you all you need to know

 

[Commandante]

Her answer will tell you all you need to know

I totally disagree. You are not a moderator of a quiz show. You don´t want to know, whether she would like to date you despite of having a boyfriend, or not. You WANT to date her, even if she has a boyfriend. Because you don´t care about him. Hello, you don´t even know about his existence!

A MAN doesn´t want to be chosen by a women. He has done his own choice. If the girl like this, is fine. If she doesn´t, is fine too. A MAN can always choose an other women, and isn´t afraid doing that.

What you recommend is being AFC.