Is it a bad idea to approach women...

[Jukeboxhero]

if you don't really have a life? or anything interesting going on in your life?

Well, I'll give you a quick rundown of what my current situation is.

1. 29 yrs old, but never really had much of a social life or any kind of a relationship with women.

2. Currently own a house, but need to sell it.

3. Going to an online school, Animationmentor.com. Hopefully, I'll have the career I've always wanted and be making some decent money in a year or less. Also, I'll probably be moving from Ohio to California...which should be interesting change in lifestyle.

For the past year or more, my life has been really busy with school and work. I didn't even have time to go the gym or have a social life, except for a few gatherings with family and friends. I also own a house in the ghetto, which I'm fixing up to sell because I really don't want to live there anymore.

Finally though, things are going to be easing up a little at school. So I hope I can get my social life back on track, especially when it comes to women. The problem is I'm basically starting from scratch, even when it comes to friends. My current circles of friends do have occasional get-togethers, but thats about it. Most of them are married or in a serious relationships.

Right now, my goal is to become a more social, outgoing, fun and interesting person that can make connections with people and just be more comfortable around people I don't know, especially women.

I don't really care about getting laid, kissing or even getting numbers for the time being. Mostly just making some decent casual friendships with guys and girls so I don't feel like such a loner/loser anymore. In other words, I want to be LJBF'ed, but still an interesting person that women like to be around. Of course I do want some attraction-based results eventually, but right now that's not my focus. I just want to improve myself as a person.

So I guess I have 2 problems.

1. Need a total life makeover
I don't know what I want to do for Hobbies/sports/activities. I've done a few things like Volleyball, Tennis, Salsa Dancing and an occasional bowling game, even though I've honestly never been good at any of those. I might try those again if I can find a place to participate that doesn't cost too much.

2. Being a fun and interesting person that people love to be around

I know this sounds retarded, but in general I can never seem to come up with anything to say to introduce myself to a stranger. I guess I could just go out and starting say "Hi, What's your name?", but after a basic introduction of who they are and where they live...I mean it seems like there's only so much mundane, small talk you can routinely go through before things start to get boring and you get that awkward silence.
Even commenting on the current situation/something they're wearing seems to run out of steam fast.
Me: "Hey Nice dress, where did you get it?"
Her: "Old Navy"
Me: "Cool, I shop there too"
Her: "Uhh...okay"
So does anyone have any methods or ideas to get you into that humorous, confindent and fun mindset?

I hope this isn't a bad Idea. I also plan on reading the DJ Bible and doing that Boot camp and creating an approach journal. Any advice or comments would be appreciated.

 

[ketostix]

I think it's a bad idea to wait until you have a "life" before going after girls. You might not be too successful approaching women but it's practice and experience. And you should be doing both concurrently, improving yourself and trying to get a girl you want.

I also think it's bad idea to approach women with the mindset you just solely want to be social. You should approach with the intent and belief you can and will get whatever you want from her and let the chips fall where they may. What's the worst thing that will likely happen? She might think you're "creepy"? There's worse things in life than some goofy girl insinuating you're creepy or whatever, such as, being relationship and sex deprived, dying a virgin etc. Not saying that you're a virgin or anything btw, just giving an example.

 

[Jukeboxhero]

I think it's a bad idea to wait until you have a "life" before going after girls. You might not be too successful approaching women but it's practice and experience. And you should be doing both concurrently, improving yourself and trying to get a girl you want.

I also think it's bad idea to approach women with the mindset you just solely want to be social. You should approach with the intent and belief you can and will get whatever you want from her and let the chips fall where they may. What's the worst thing that will likely happen? She might think you're "creepy"? There's worse things in life than some goofy girl insinuating you're creepy or whatever, such as, being relationship and sex deprived, dying a virgin etc. Not saying that you're a virgin or anything btw, just giving an example.

Yeah, you're right Keto. I guess I do want to practice approaching women and just being better at creating attraction too. But I guess I'm saying I don't mind if I just make friends too...in other words, I'm not like "OMG, I need to do whatever it takes to get laid with this chick tonight!"---I'm more interested in the long term benefits of at least starting a relationship, instead of the instant gratification of how many women I can have sex with.

I guess the most important thing is to just get out there and start LIVING!

Btw, keep the advice coming. Especially when it comes to making conversation beyond "Hello, whats' your name". Maybe it's not going to be as hard as I imagine it, but I never seem to be able to get into that infamous ****y and Funny type of mindset that makes things so much more interesting!

 

[lYlasTer]

My best suggestion is to find a group of cool guys to hang around with. You can get a social life and learn a lot from them if any of them are good with women. Keep reading and applying.

 

[rushing dude 123]

Did the exact same thing u did for 2 years, Basically i came to this site and decided that people were just holding me back, so i disconnected myself from everyone else including women. I felt good whilst training actually brilliant, but not complete. I then knew i basicallly shut myself down from everyone else has a defense mechanism not to get hurt, i actually feared women and people. I am guessing u have done the same thing, maybe u fear approaching women just like i did, why else would u make this thread there must b doubt in ur mind.

What i am saying is that u should face ur fears and try to get EVERYTHINK u want, not just a little bit. This is ur life why shouldn't u live it the way u want and do not accept anythink less. U can of course live without women, but u r looking at it the wrong way, i always look at it when i approach a woman that i have nothing to lose.

Anyway good luck with making that decision.

Ps. read dj bible lol U should search weapons of mass seduction, it has everythink u should need, it did for me.

 

[ElStud]

Hell no. Social life helps, but approaching and getting girls interested is basically just about being social. So basically social life helps, but not having one won't really affect your success with woman. Now if you're not a social guy, you'll need to work on that.

 

[Mad Manic]

Hell no. Social life helps, but approaching and getting girls interested is basically just about being social. So basically social life helps, but not having one won't really affect your success with woman. Now if you're not a social guy, you'll need to work on that.

I agree with this guy.

 

[Jukeboxhero]

Did the exact same thing u did for 2 years, Basically i came to this site and decided that people were just holding me back, so i disconnected myself from everyone else including women.

Umm...exactly what about my post made you think I was trying to disconnect from everyone? And how could you "train" (by which I assume you mean approaching girls) if you were disconnected from women?

Anyways, I actually want to do the opposite. I want to REALLY connect with people and make friends. I guess my main problem is I feel I have this 'Boring" guy stigma attached to me because I don't have much fun or interesting going on in my life right now....just work and school.

So to make things simple. I'm looking for two things.

1. Ideas for interesting Hobbies/Activities/Sports. Like I said, I've done a few things like Salsa dancing lessons and Volleyball, but I'm also looking for ideas for stuff I haven't tried or done yet.

2. How do you get into that mindset of being a fun & interesting person that people enjoy talking to? I know it's probably a hard concept to explain over a forum message. But any ideas that puts you in the "zone" or makes it easier to think of C&F things to say.
I know a big part is getting out there and just start talking to people, but again...it seems I can never think of anything to say after the first few lines of introduction type stuff.

 

[Alittude]

"Self improvement is masturbation, self destruction....". Just go out there and put yourself on the line man. You're gonna learn more by going out and approaching than waiting untill you have everything perfect.