Is is possible to turn friend into a girlfriend (told her thuth, she lives far)

[Gaki]

Here is the situation :
I liked the girl more ever since I first met her. We used to see each other on camps and trips once every couple of months. Once, after a trip, I wrote her a letter telling her I feel more. She was not so happy about it, as we didn't know each other at all. That was 2 years ago. We spent another camp together and I realized I have to do something about it. I told her everything in the evening. She told me she had to think about it, and afterwards, she informed me that she doesn't feel anything more towards me - she likes me just as a friend.
I asked if we could get to know each other better and then, maybe, try someday. She agreed, but I don't know if there is any sense. She lives 210 miles from me. We can only talk and write. I can visit her once in a while but is there a sense? Help me please..

The problem is NOT a distance, because if it worked out, I'd move or something. My problem is, how to make her like me more if she knows everything, and we cannot really see each other often (yet) ?

 

[Iceberg]

Everything about this is flawed.

First - tattoo this to your head - Girls WANT to chase YOU. They don't want you spilling your guts about love and how bad you want them. Especially if you're not even dating yet. Girls want to view you as the prize, and they're the ones who are winning by getting you.

This girl has done NOTHING for you, and you're trying to give your heart to her? Why? Because she's pretty and you like her? She lives 200 miles away...f**king find a girl close to home. The girl already rejected you twice, she lives 200 miles away, and you're trying to figure out how to win her? Grow up. I don't mean that in an angry way. But you're an adult. Get your head out of the clouds. You can already see where things are going with this girl. Use your brain. Not your sappy heart.

 

[Kailex]

Can't let this one go by... so here we go.

Here is the situation :
I liked the girl more ever since I first met her. We used to see each other on camps and trips once every couple of months. Once, after a trip, I wrote her a letter telling her I feel more.

Never, EVER disclose your feelings towards your woman, specially when you two haven't even gone out on a date. Specially WRITING it out. It's been GAME OVER for you since then. Basically, she sees you as a weakling. You're the nice guy she'll end up running to tell you about all the guys that dump her and why she can't ever find a nice guy.

She was not so happy about it, as we didn't know each other at all. That was 2 years ago. We spent another camp together and I realized I have to do something about it. I told her everything in the evening.

So, you didn't even ACT, you just TOLD her?
2 years later, NOTHING changed.

She told me she had to think about it, and afterwards, she informed me that she doesn't feel anything more towards me - she likes me just as a friend.

2 years later, same results.

I asked if we could get to know each other better and then, maybe, try someday. She agreed, but I don't know if there is any sense.

She agreed because she doesn't know how to say "NO" to someone who is holding onto a crush for a 2 years. That or she likes the fact that she has you head over heels for her and can add you to an army of orbiters.

She lives 210 miles from me. We can only talk and write. I can visit her once in a while but is there a sense? Help me please..

NO SENSE.
LDRs = TROUBLE

Specially if you've been LJBFed. You are swimming upstream a DAM. There's no way you can get this to work and here's even more of a reason why.

The problem is NOT a distance, because if it worked out, I'd move or something. My problem is, how to make her like me more if she knows everything, and we cannot really see each other often (yet) ?

If it worked out... you'd move?

You NEVER move FOR a woman. You move for yourself, for a new job, or something related, but not for a woman. You can't MAKE her like you more. Her mind is already made up on what she thinks of you... and right now, she thinks of you as PLAN Z. Translation: She'll get back to you once she's 35 and probably with two kids from two different guys, her mileage is up and decides she wants a nice guy.

Read the DJ Bible.
Welcome to the forums.

 

[DJ Miquelo]

Sorry bro, you've made a number of mistakes in this circumstance.

There's too many things to tell you so ill tell you one thing...

read the DJ bible. That will both answer you're questions as well as help you in many other ways.

 

[TheGunslinger]

Wow. I'm no expert, but even I can tell there's a lot of things wrong with what you've just posted.

1. You sent a girl you didn't know and had barely talked to a letter declaring your love for her? Dude, think about it. That's just creepy and way over the top, and beyond that? You've just given her complete control. Where's the challenge now? You've barely interacted with the girl and you've thrown yourself at her feet. Not very manly.

2. You essentially asked her out over a letter? If you're going to ask someone out, do it face to face. There's nothing more cowardly than over text/letters/whatever.

3. Even if she was your girlfriend dude, I wouldn't bother going out with her while being seperated by 210 miles. You won't see each other, there'll be other temptations (for her rather than you judging by your post) and you're going to end up broken hearted and alone. Don't bother.

4. You'd move? Dude, come on. You'd give up everything around you just to be closer to a woman you think you might have a chance with? Are you crazy? There are countless women out there, not to mention many who are several times better than this girl. There's only one you. Don't make such a drastic change to your life just to be closer to a woman that, frankly, even if you manage to go out with, is going to break up with you in no time flat at this stage. You're placing her on a pedestal and devaluing yourself right in front of her. That **** isn't hot; you're a man for God's sake, not her b!tch.

To answer your final question, acting the way you are now, I'm surprised she likes you as a friend, so don't try anything on this one. It's over. Cut your losses and get on with your life. This is just one girl in a sea of better women.

Read the DJ bible (there's a link at the bottom of the page) and absorb the information from this site. It sounds like you've got a lot to learn. The friend zone is by no means an easy place to get out of, and with the way you entered it (sending her letters when you barely know her) it's going to be next to impossible. Don't bother yourself with this.

Let this girl go and make yourself a better man through this site.

 

[mikeyb]

As everyone else has already pointed out with your attitude you are setting yourself up for failure after failure. Not to mention that your balls may eventually fall off from lack of use.

Here's a better idea: start the bootcamp ASAP (you can find it in the DJ Bible page linked to in the footer of every page on this site). Start a thread and post your experience. Not only will you feel incredible when you see what you can achieve by stepping outside your comfort zone, but you will also realize that there are millions of great single women out there up for grabs.