"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"

You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.

For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.

Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.

The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.

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Is eye contact really a sign of interest?

Snowman23

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At work for example, I get a lot of looks from women, not really smiles though. Like I've caught their attention. So I don't know if it's because I walked into the room, or because they think I'm attractive, or what. But I've never once been approached.

The reason I'm asking is because I don't want to walk up to them like a retard if they aren't interested. I like to know where I stand before I go in for the kill.

I'm a very observative person so I notice they look at me, but it doesn't necessarily mean they like me.
 

"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

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IPalindromeI

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Eye contact without a smile usually means hostility, a challenge, an attempt at dominance, general curiosity, or simply someone standing their ground. If you are getting this - it is disinterest. These are women who are flat out not interested. If you smile, you will either be met with a half assed smile or hostility.

If you are getting 'coy' eye contact that comes with a smile, and a 'looking away' followed by more eye contact, that is a 'come meet me I'm interested' signal. These are girls who are interested, but shy and/or afraid of rejection - they flirt, show teeth, lick lips (slightly, not lasciviously). When you smile, they smile back and are receptive.

If you are in a professional, or even a social setting, and you are getting smiles with lots of eye contact, it probably means 'I'm interested in what you are saying' but not necessarily 'I'm interested in you'. These are girls who are not interested in you and rejection isn't an issue. They are smiling to be nice. When you smile, their smile might falter lest they give you the wrong idea.

If you get a solid smile by unbroken eye contact, and you are in a business situation ie: trying to pick up girls working for commission, bartenders, or shop girls, or strippers then you are probably getting the 'come spend your money' signals. If you smile, they smile back as long as you are spending money.

If you want to see which it is, smile. The reception to that smile will tell you all you want to know. I wouldn't suggest approaching if you get anything less than a genuine smile back. Some people smile reflexively. Don't mistake that for the real deal.
 

DefiantIronist

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Assume she's into you until proven otherwise (aka sprout some testes and approach). How does SHE even know if she's interested when she hasn't met you? She'll likely NEVER be interested if you don't approach.

That being said, know how to do eye contact and smiling first instead of letting her control the social dynamic - if she looks at you flatly and you smile at her, she'll probably smile back. BAM! You are in control. Approach.

Don't let em shoot you down before you get off the ground dude!
 
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