SeymourCake
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Because that's what it seems like. Is it just me, or has anyone else noticed this?
"You'll Never Feel READY to Walk Over"
Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.
You've been "getting ready" for two years.
She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.
Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.
Is dating nothing more than a game of manipulation?
- Thread starter SeymourCake
- Start date
"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"
You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.
Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.
Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.
Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.
Ish... I wouldn't necessarily call it manipulation, though - unless that's what you (or they) are doing. More like acting, being selfish, not tolerating BS, and going for what you want. You don't have to deceive, lie to, or trick anyone into doing things they don't want to do. False promises, using people as objects for your own gain, stringing them along, messing with their emotions, using guilt trips, persuasion, etc. But you do have to attract them, which requires some fakery. But most of that is in perception, charm, status, holding back, etc.
As well, you have to defend yourself against tests, bad people, and establish boundaries. You have to be selfish to not get manipulatED yourself (or used, played, walked over). As well as going for what you want, and putting yourself first.
You don't have to "hurt" anyone in order to be successful, but you can't put their needs over yours, feel responsible for their emotions, tolerate BS, etc. And at the end of the day, they WANT to be turned on, presented with a challenge, have someone of sufficient status who stands up for themselves and goes for what they want, etc.
It's all pretty fake, and just a game for the most part. But that's the way it is, and the nature of attraction itself. You don't necessarily have to manipulate or be "bad", but you can't "be yourself" - to the core. Everyone is nice and boring and selfless at heart. Doesn't mean it turns anyone on, or attracts them.
Same with anything else, really. A lot of acting be going on out there.
As well, you have to defend yourself against tests, bad people, and establish boundaries. You have to be selfish to not get manipulatED yourself (or used, played, walked over). As well as going for what you want, and putting yourself first.
You don't have to "hurt" anyone in order to be successful, but you can't put their needs over yours, feel responsible for their emotions, tolerate BS, etc. And at the end of the day, they WANT to be turned on, presented with a challenge, have someone of sufficient status who stands up for themselves and goes for what they want, etc.
It's all pretty fake, and just a game for the most part. But that's the way it is, and the nature of attraction itself. You don't necessarily have to manipulate or be "bad", but you can't "be yourself" - to the core. Everyone is nice and boring and selfless at heart. Doesn't mean it turns anyone on, or attracts them.
Same with anything else, really. A lot of acting be going on out there.
Never understand these types of questions....SeymourCake said:
Do you expect the girl to date you and have sex with anytime anyplace you want? Dude, girls are opposing teams in sports, they are looking for weaknesses, weak emotion, anything they can use against you to CRUSH you. You HAVE to play their game if you want sex. Get experience in the game and they will know never to mess around with you if they want to deal with you.
But as soon as you say "I don't like to play games" or "Why is she playing games?" or "Please don't play games," she already has power over you.
Good thing that at my core, I'm a monster that puts my own rights above all others then. I don't even have to play the part, when I used to be nice it was only because I wanted to appear nice, I realized how much of a mistake that was. Never put anyone above you, and don't hesitate to cut them down.floydb25 said: