SeymourCake
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Because that's what it seems like. Is it just me, or has anyone else noticed this?
"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"
You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.
And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.
Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.
The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.
Is dating nothing more than a game of manipulation?
- Thread starter SeymourCake
- Start date
"So, What Do You Do for Fun?"
She asks it casually, mid-sip. And you feel the floor open up, because the honest answer is work, gym, and a couple shows you're half-watching.
Women rarely say this out loud, but a man with a life is attractive before he says a word. The guy who spent Saturday deep-sea fishing and came back with photos and a story — he walks in already interesting.
The "22 Rules" pushed me to build a life worth talking about. Turns out the fastest way to be interesting to women is to be interested in your own life first.
Ish... I wouldn't necessarily call it manipulation, though - unless that's what you (or they) are doing. More like acting, being selfish, not tolerating BS, and going for what you want. You don't have to deceive, lie to, or trick anyone into doing things they don't want to do. False promises, using people as objects for your own gain, stringing them along, messing with their emotions, using guilt trips, persuasion, etc. But you do have to attract them, which requires some fakery. But most of that is in perception, charm, status, holding back, etc.
As well, you have to defend yourself against tests, bad people, and establish boundaries. You have to be selfish to not get manipulatED yourself (or used, played, walked over). As well as going for what you want, and putting yourself first.
You don't have to "hurt" anyone in order to be successful, but you can't put their needs over yours, feel responsible for their emotions, tolerate BS, etc. And at the end of the day, they WANT to be turned on, presented with a challenge, have someone of sufficient status who stands up for themselves and goes for what they want, etc.
It's all pretty fake, and just a game for the most part. But that's the way it is, and the nature of attraction itself. You don't necessarily have to manipulate or be "bad", but you can't "be yourself" - to the core. Everyone is nice and boring and selfless at heart. Doesn't mean it turns anyone on, or attracts them.
Same with anything else, really. A lot of acting be going on out there.
As well, you have to defend yourself against tests, bad people, and establish boundaries. You have to be selfish to not get manipulatED yourself (or used, played, walked over). As well as going for what you want, and putting yourself first.
You don't have to "hurt" anyone in order to be successful, but you can't put their needs over yours, feel responsible for their emotions, tolerate BS, etc. And at the end of the day, they WANT to be turned on, presented with a challenge, have someone of sufficient status who stands up for themselves and goes for what they want, etc.
It's all pretty fake, and just a game for the most part. But that's the way it is, and the nature of attraction itself. You don't necessarily have to manipulate or be "bad", but you can't "be yourself" - to the core. Everyone is nice and boring and selfless at heart. Doesn't mean it turns anyone on, or attracts them.
Same with anything else, really. A lot of acting be going on out there.
Never understand these types of questions....SeymourCake said:
Do you expect the girl to date you and have sex with anytime anyplace you want? Dude, girls are opposing teams in sports, they are looking for weaknesses, weak emotion, anything they can use against you to CRUSH you. You HAVE to play their game if you want sex. Get experience in the game and they will know never to mess around with you if they want to deal with you.
But as soon as you say "I don't like to play games" or "Why is she playing games?" or "Please don't play games," she already has power over you.
Good thing that at my core, I'm a monster that puts my own rights above all others then. I don't even have to play the part, when I used to be nice it was only because I wanted to appear nice, I realized how much of a mistake that was. Never put anyone above you, and don't hesitate to cut them down.floydb25 said: