is confidence enough to create chemistry?

[big weezy]

i've read the dj bible but the 'attraction' part is hard to follow, i know you need to be confident as that's the no. 1 attraction tool to women.. however how do you create that actual chemistry and raw attraction that they FEEL?

i try the usual DHV's, negs, kino etc but by the time i get to the 2nd date i run out of things to do/say. How do you take it further so that they feel that attraction?

usually i have to resort to sleeping with them asap to try to get them emotionally invested.. cos usually it's plain sailing after that, but if i dont.. well.. i get stuck.

 

[Alex DeLarge]

confidence is enough to create chemistry for the first few dates. I'm starting to believe that sleeping with a woman early on (within the first 10 dates) is key to keeping them around.. At least in western society for that matter. (This comes from my personal experience.. Everyone is different.)

A friend of mine who I was hooking up with in the past is now seeing one of our mutual friends (I think she did this to bother me, but I wasn't really into her). But anyways.. She said this line to me which really interested me..

"I've been on 3 dates with ____ and he hasn't made a move on me yet. I don't want to be his girlfriend, I need to break it off with him."

This shows that she is not willing to make that emotional investment with him because he did not make a sexual advance yet. If he had done this, her interest level may have risen.

Now further down the line, if my friend had made the moves with this girl and made out with her felt her up etc.. Then the next expected step would be sex. If he were not to make advancements toward sex it would result in a plunge of interest. (This has happened to me many times before.) Sex seems to be the usual event that seals the deal with you and a girl (unless they have some kind of psychological disorder, she mad a bad drunken decision, or you're super AFC.)

In the end biologically speaking it all comes down to confidence on a social setting and being comfortable with your sexuality. (straight) Men are supposed to make sexual advances on women we find attractive, it's hard-wired into our brains to do so and it's what keeps our species alive. Over-analyzation of your driving biological desire to reproduce is a fault in your self-confidence. (unless the situation of sexual advance is anti-social eg. rape.)


So what it largely comes down to is the confidence of sexual advancement. If the girl says "no" to you, it's not a big deal. Just stop and try again. The worst that's going to happen if a girl denies you is that she says "I'm sorry I can't" or something along the lines of that.. If she blatantly insults you, then she's a b1tch, probably has some kind of issues, and she's a woman you would not want to even spend time with.

 

[perseverance]

Confidence may cause initial attraction, but I doubt it has anything to do with chemistry.

 

[big weezy]

interesting... that leads to my next question, if confidence isn't enough.. what is needed to create chemistry?

i was on the assumption having sex helps it rise exponentially.

 

[Iceberg]

interesting... that leads to my next question, if confidence isn't enough.. what is needed to create chemistry?

i was on the assumption having sex helps it rise exponentially.

Chemistry, the way I define it, isn't something that can be "created". Chemistry is when two people click. It's how your personality (good and bad), fits with the girl's personality (good and bad).

I don't really thing chemistry is something that can come through PUA tricks.

The only thing that creates chemistry is dating enough girls until you eventually find the few who fit with your personality.

It's funny because you mention that by Date#2, you run out of things to say. And that's what worries me about you...Everything you do seems to be based around some PUA tricks. Remember, at some point you have to be a real person. Kino, DHV, and all these other kiddy games can only get you so far.

If I had to sum up all the dating problems you seem to have...it just feels like you're not creating attraction with these girls. Period. And I don't know if that's because you are physically unattractive or socially awkward, or playing too many PUA games.

I don't know you personally, but just looking at all the various questions you ask, it seems like your style is way way way too based on tricks and games. So there's gotta be some other issues going on.

 

[big weezy]

Chemistry, the way I define it, isn't something that can be "created". Chemistry is when two people click. It's how your personality (good and bad), fits with the girl's personality (good and bad).

I don't really thing chemistry is something that can come through PUA tricks.

The only thing that creates chemistry is dating enough girls until you eventually find the few who fit with your personality.

It's funny because you mention that by Date#2, you run out of things to say. And that's what worries me about you...Everything you do seems to be based around some PUA tricks. Remember, at some point you have to be a real person. Kino, DHV, and all these other kiddy games can only get you so far.

If I had to sum up all the dating problems you seem to have...it just feels like you're not creating attraction with these girls. Period. And I don't know if that's because you are physically unattractive or socially awkward, or playing too many PUA games.

I don't know you personally, but just looking at all the various questions you ask, it seems like your style is way way way too based on tricks and games. So there's gotta be some other issues going on.

Yes you're right. I was and still am a big AFC even though I have read a lot of PUA stuff, this stuff has helped me get laid quickly but if it takes longer than 2-3 dates i crumble and i think they see me as an imposter as I can't answer or pass their sh!t tests.

I have a very successful record of immediate lays or first time meeting lays based on a system and logistics i had when abroad. (basically i lived on campus in a hotel based on campus.. whenever i met knew girls on campus accommodation was on their priority list so were interested to see what my room looked like.. i would run a little game, offer a massage get them to lie down escalate and to sex) it was very effective speed seduction. my record was sex within 3 hours of meeting someone. but it didn't really help me going on dates.

I've read the DJ bible but i still feel i'm lacking something as i seem to answer direct questions honestly rather than creating mystery which i have no idea how to do. Maybe i've been brought up to be too honest for my own good.

Do you have any recommendations for me? I already work on my looks, how i dress, go to the gym but still seem to suffer from nerves which I can't calm down on dates. It doesn't help either that I try really hard at sarging yet can go weeks without getting a number. It starts to wane on your psyche and makes you get oneitis easily when you do get success.

 

[perseverance]

Chemistry is just a natural reaction between two people, it's either there or it isn't. I suppose exposure to one another on a regular basis will determine whether or not it lowers in intensity or increases. I don't think there are any guides or techniques to enhance chemistry. PUA techniques and dating techniques are manufactured things designed to manipulate and control a setting, Chemistry is purely natural and cannot be manipulated or controlled.

 

[big weezy]

Can nerves and anxiety affect natural chemistry?

As in you and the other person have chemistry but one's nerves and nervous disposition can cause that chemistry to fade.