is cold sarging a normal everyday thing?

[Yapper]

Just walking up to a cute girl anywhere and asking her out is something I wish I could get myself to do... I've done it a few times and got rejected, mostly because of bad targets, but I don't really feel like trying again. In my position there's really no other way for me to meet girls I actually want to date. But still cold approaching feels very... unnatural... awkward, and, dare I say, desperate. I ask myself how could it ever produce a positive outcome.

It got me wondering. Is cold approaching something that happens regularly? Do "regular" guys go out and do this all the time or is it mostly relegated to sosuave/seduction community and creeps and weirdos? I've heard conflicting perspectives and my experience is kind of limited.

 

[Yapper]

It's more of an I'm wondering if it's common practice, not that I'm going to base my actions on that. If ten guys have just hit on it before me then that actually makes me feel a little worst about following in their footsteps, just another chicken to the slaughter.

 

[diplomatic_lies]

The average guy has 2.1 kids, lives in a 3 bedroom suburban house, drives 2 cars, marries at 30, and spends their whole life wondering "What if?".

Do you want to be an average guy?

(And no, cold approaches aren't done by most people.)

 

[rakishness]

Just walking up to a cute girl anywhere and asking her out is something I wish I could get myself to do... I've done it a few times and got rejected, mostly because of bad targets, but I don't really feel like trying again. In my position there's really no other way for me to meet girls I actually want to date. But still cold approaching feels very... unnatural... awkward, and, dare I say, desperate. I ask myself how could it ever produce a positive outcome.

It got me wondering. Is cold approaching something that happens regularly? Do "regular" guys go out and do this all the time or is it mostly relegated to sosuave/seduction community and creeps and weirdos? I've heard conflicting perspectives and my experience is kind of limited.

NO NO NO NO!!!!! Most "men" do not cold approach. Just ask yourself how many times you've seen it in person. I know a lot of "men" who are too pvssy to approach in social setting such as bars or clubs. What do you think happens when they see a girl during the day? The very idea of going up to a woman you don't know in a setting that is not social during the day...is TERRIFYING for most men.

 

[rakishness]

I find it funny how so many men say "confidence" attracts....and yet so many men are too afraid to cold approach. Any man who goes out and cold approaches is showing confidence. It is hard as hell to go up to a woman you don't know during the day and express interest, introduce yourself, number close, etc. AND IT IS VERY RARE.

 

[greenlake]

they're women and we are men. what other good reason to not cold approach?? unless u're gay. i bet u the girls are thinking the same way u think too. so who would go if no body do it?? tat's when we, the man, cold approach. btw, cold approach or even talking to starngers are not common at all. i think i'm the only dude cold approach girls at my school.

 

[Raikojo17]

they're women and we are men. what other good reason to not cold approach?? unless u're gay. i bet u the girls are thinking the same way u think too. so who would go if no body do it?? tat's when we, the man, cold approach. btw, cold approach or even talking to starngers are not common at all. i think i'm the only dude cold approach girls at my school.

word

well, atleast for u it's normal lol
but yea, most guys are terrified to approach. im known among my boys as the one with all the balls cuz im the only one with the balls to approach any girl.

 

[Raikojo17]

I find it funny how so many men say "confidence" attracts....and yet so many men are too afraid to cold approach. Any man who goes out and cold approaches is showing confidence. It is hard as hell to go up to a woman you don't know during the day and express interest, introduce yourself, number close, etc. AND IT IS VERY RARE.

exactly bro. i find that funny too.

that's y i think it's BS when guys say that hot girls get hit on all the time. Because of the sheer Multitude of men who are scared sh1tless to even approach her, she's lucky to get one brave soul in a week.

 

[Francisco d'Anconia]

Good thread!

 

[danielzxc]

I find it funny how so many men say "confidence" attracts....and yet so many men are too afraid to cold approach. Any man who goes out and cold approaches is showing confidence. It is hard as hell to go up to a woman you don't know during the day and express interest, introduce yourself, number close, etc. AND IT IS VERY RARE.

I wonder how aware women are of this though. If they are not aware of the EXTENT of most guys' fear of cold approaching -- especially in "inappropriate" settings, like say the supermarket -- then I wonder if they realize how much confidence it takes (ie realize what a confident action it is).

I have talked to quite a few girls who have said that they would NEVER approach a guy they didn't know and when I said why they said because if they got rejected it would devastate them (they didn't say because it they would feel like slvts, but that surely is part of it too). And when I have pointed out that guys are scared of the same thing, they have been surprised, or said that yeah, but it's okay for a guy to get rejected because -- get this -- guys don't take it personally (yeah right!!).

If they see guys approaching as a normal thing, are they really gonna be blown away by the confidence of it? I don't think so, unless you not only approach, but you do it in a super confident way. The fact of the approach, by itself, doesn't make you seem all that wonderful; it's HOW you approach that does that.

 

[rakishness]

We show bravery when we try to attempt difficult things. Lets face it guys...cold approaching goes against social convention. When you don't follow social convention. You are showing "guts". Women LIKE that.

 

[L777]

I think it is for naturals. Although most naturals (or the ones I've seen) aren't results oriented. They're just social, cool guys who talk to everyone, including girls. Like, I was out with a natural friend the other day, and he didn't cold approach as in, completely cold approaches, but he chatted up shop assistants, girls in the queue at McDonalds, girls near us on the bus etc...as long as you have fun doing it and GENUINELY don't care about the outcome (easier said than done) you will never get out rejected, as in "Go away"...cos then the girl herself just looks bad.

 

[Scought]

I agree with L777.

Don't even think of it as 'approaching.' That already is a results driven obligation and you feel bad if nothing happens. Stop.

What you should focus on is just meeting people, small talk, etc. If you start doing that with a woman and find that she is interesting and attractive then you are onto something. You need to approach it like you are not trying to do anything.

When you are talking and having fun, you then suggest getting together, as if you hadn't ever thought of it until just that moment. It's a sort of, this-is-to-fun-to-end thing, so you and her should continue at another time. So, you remind her of that and get the number.

This may only happen with 2 out of 10 chicks, you say hi to, or small talk with. But, the sooner you get away from feeling like you 'have to' cold approach and the sooner you stop saying 'cold approach' and just be your confident, smiling, witty self, the sooner the anxiety will go away.

Practice on the checkout girl, the laundry mat girl, the movie theater girl even if you have no intention of ever getting their number. You do the same with a girl you might like, but instead of just saying bye, you say bye and remind them how fun/exciting it would be to converse again.

 

[DJDamage]

NO NO NO NO!!!!! Most "men" do not cold approach. Just ask yourself how many times you've seen it in person.

This statment is somewhat incorrect. It is true that there are men who do not approach but there are many other men who do approach but do not do so in a conventional way, hance you never see it.

Pretty women get approached all the time and if you are not going to do it someone else will do it and succeed.

 

[Tommyboy]

L777 & Scought got it right.

I cold sarge all the time but rarely close. Checkout girls, ect. Its a good way to get your confidence up and practice your game.

 

[So pimp its scary]

Man, I've pulled so many girls while working sales, just walking the streets and getting their numbers...

At one point I was working across from a grocery store, and about once or twice a week I'd manage to meet a new girl and get her number while buying my lunch... and most of the time I'd just grab a seat with them and talk while eating... instant lunch date.

 

[Circa]

I think it's normal. Besides if you see an approach and the whole "taboo" factors comes into play and stops you from doing it, you're going to regret it later and feel like an idiot.

That happened to me yesterday. I was with two of my buddies, but one of them had a gf. Then 3 beautiful girls walked by. I suggested we go talk to them. But both of them were being poons. It pissed me off. They kept eyeballing us the whole time. They even screamed "Hi" at us from accross the pool. I was so ****ing pissed at my friends. I could understand the one with a gf.. but the one who was single had no excuse he even had "two condoms on him"... poon poon poon. I guess it's better to sarge a lone. Now that I think about it, I should of just went over there by myself and got all 3 of their numbers.. but then again, they were out of towners. But still. :\

 

[Agent Zero]

It's not something most guys do during the day. That's just the way it is and that's one thing that is definitely holding me back. I've only done a handful of approaches because of this. But, you should just accept that and approach anyways cause really your life will be better if you approach. I am working on getting over this too so I see where you are coming from, but, no, it's not normal but that shouldn't matter.

 

[knglerxt]

The average guy has 2.1 kids, lives in a 3 bedroom suburban house, drives 2 cars, marries at 30, and spends their whole life wondering "What if?".

Do you want to be an average guy?

(And no, cold approaches aren't done by most people.)

This is what confuses me. I know that most guys don't do this, but I see plenty of guys around with girlfriends and wives. How are these average guys meeting these women if they're not approaching them?

 

[Agent Zero]

This is what confuses me. I know that most guys don't do this, but I see plenty of guys around with girlfriends and wives. How are these average guys meeting these women?

Through friends, work, etc. It's not normal to meet random strangers. I think it's important to realize that it's not normal to sarge, but most every guy if they would consider it would conclude it's a great thing to do.