Is being talkative more important than good looks?

[SayWhat]

Hi

I've been called good looking several times, but that I also come over as a silent person. I've had people shown huge interest in me in the beginning only to have them disappear in my life just because I'm not a talker.

I basically don't know what to say or don't 'dare' to say. As you can tell, my confidence is pretty low.

But that's not the point, the point is my first paragraph. Is being talkative more important than good looks?

 

[Mike32ct]

Talking is not more important than good looks. If a guy is not good looking, she will shut him down before he has a chance to talk or shortly after.

But, I won't say that talking doesn't matter. Some women that may like your looks may get bored if you are too quiet.

I'm very quiet too, but I do alright one on one. Just talk to girls like you would a friend. You don't have to be "game-y" in your speech because your looks can do much of the work for you. You just need to communicate.

 

[jacob]

Hi

I've been called good looking several times, but that I also come over as a silent person. I've had people shown huge interest in me in the beginning only to have them disappear in my life just because I'm not a talker.

I basically don't know what to say or don't 'dare' to say. As you can tell, my confidence is pretty low.

But that's not the point, the point is my first paragraph. Is being talkative more important than good looks?

I had this problem my whole life. lol Since I was a kid a lot of girls would crush on me and admire me from afar, but I was to quiet. I would depend on my looks and yes initially their interest level would be high, I would easily get to start conversations with them, but after awhile I would turn out boring because of my silence and dependence on my attractive looks.

I would get mad and irritated when I noticed that the girls would then start dating my more "out going talkative" friends and start having sex with them even though they were not very good looking.

You see, it was the first woman, Eve who was to be judge by the first man Adam as far as suitability and so it's inherent in females to look beautiful and put on make up, not the other way around.

I've learned that it's not very important for a guy to be visually attractive in order to court a female. Again being "gorgeous" is more important for a female.

Is talking more important for a guy? Well let's go back to the beginning. Eve was seduced by the "talking" serpent, she was perfect and she fell.

Now I go back to my friends. They weren't good looking, but they were gangsters, and they could "mack" or talk. The girls that hung out with us would call them "mack daddy's" with a smirk and glare in their eyes, and yes my friends would be able to escalate with them and hit a home run just because they had the "gift of gab".

 

[SayWhat]

Do you guys think it's possible to become a smooth talker , even though for over 15 years you haven't had this in you? If so, than how?

I'm even super silent towards my family, even though I love them and I would like to talk more (but I'm afraid of what they would think if I suddenly started talking much more...)

 

[jacob]

Do you guys think it's possible to become a smooth talker , even though for over 15 years you haven't had this in you? If so, than how?

I'm even super silent towards my family, even though I love them and I would like to talk more (but I'm afraid of what they would think if I suddenly started talking much more...)

I believe we're called introverts. I still have this problem even today, but I'm a very good communicator when I have to be.

The way I would go about solving my "quietness" around females is by imitating my friends. Whenever I see my friends being talkative and playful with a female, it looked just the same as how I and they would mess around, just like buddies.

The difference was that they would initiate "kino" or touch much more so with the females and more in a sexual way.

75% of communication is nonverbal anyway, so try and work on getting closer and touching her, but we need to close the distance by talking and it really doesn't matter what you say or talk about, just make yourself interested in anything and talk about it. Even if she doesn't respond, say something again, but make it a statement, not always a question. Just let her hear your voice.

I'm sure you had some stranger approach you and start talking about random things and at first it was like WTF? and when they kept on rambling you start to warm up to them and maybe after awhile you'd respond and then start having a conversation. It's the same with females that are in their shell.

I suggest you go practice starting conversations with random people by sitting at a bus stop and just talking about anything with the next person that sits there. good luck.

 

[Mr. Kalikoat]

Do you guys think it's possible to become a smooth talker , even though for over 15 years you haven't had this in you? If so, than how?

I'm even super silent towards my family, even though I love them and I would like to talk more (but I'm afraid of what they would think if I suddenly started talking much more...)

Yes I believe that is perfectly possible, as I've seen it happening to one of my friends over the course of 7 years. He went from total AFC nerd who never speaks to anyone except for his online gaming buddies, to one of the biggest players I know personally.

How he did it?

First he started dumping old beta friends that didn't enrich his life, and meet new people, both men and women. Everyone who could add value to his life he kept around (I'm proud to be one of them), everyone who where useless to him he ditched.

He then started to work on building an interesting individual out of himself. He worked his ass off as a graphics and visual-effects designer. He created an impressive portfolio, he got his Bachelor's degree and after 4 years landed a career as a visual artist, which earns him quite a bit of money, allowing him to buy expensive designer clothes and gadgets.

In the meantime her traded-in his gaming addiction for a gym addiction. He and I have been spending a lot of time in the gym and he cleaned up very nicely. He's very lean now. Together with some expensive clothes you can bet your sweet cheeks that he gets a lot of attention from the girls without even having to open his mouth.

Once you've come this far, talking will almost come naturally. When you improved yourself that much you'll WANT to talk to other people, you'll WANT to present yourself and you'll WANT to bless these people with your amazing presence.


The key is inner-game and being truly happy with yourself and what you've accomplished. Once you love yourself and you genuinely think of yourself as an interesting person (because you ARE an interesting person if you accomplish what my friend accomplished) you'll be able to open up more easily to the people around you.

 

[SeymourCake]

Being a listener is more effective than being talkative.

 

[Mr. Kalikoat]

Being a listener is more effective than being talkative.

And being good at pretending to listen + being talkative is even better than that.

Seriously, I have not time or interest to listen to half of the crap these lizards have to say to me. Their talking usually bores me to tears, with a few exceptions here and there.

But hey if you want to a nice listener who listens to all the bullcrap of these girls then more power to you man, but I don't see how that's going to get you laid (other than that you'll be able to impress her by bringing up something she said earlier, however often these lizards will forget what they said themselves 5 minutes or longer ago, so it doesn't even always work).

 

[Atom Smasher]

Do you guys think it's possible to become a smooth talker , even though for over 15 years you haven't had this in you? If so, than how?

I'm even super silent towards my family, even though I love them and I would like to talk more (but I'm afraid of what they would think if I suddenly started talking much more...)

The solution to your problem is daily small-talk with BOTH men and women. When doing this, you need to reframe your mind to actually care about what they're saying.

You're too focused on yourself. Project yourself out there and shift your awareness away from yourself.

Wherever you go throughout the day, ask people how they're doing, mention the weather or anything else that is going on around the immediate area.

Daily small-talk will fix your issue. When I was younger I had no idea how to talk to people. I learned simply by doing and by starting to actually take what others say seriously, in other words to acknowledge them as human beings.

 

[Willard]

I used to be quiet and shy, not so much anymore. A few months ago I downloaded Stephan Erdman's Pimp Your Lingo audiobook. After listening to it I can pretty much talk to anybody, I was having 2 hour conversations with the last girl I was seeing almost very night, great stuff.

 

[PeasantPlayer]

Story of my life, although the last few years I have changed it, not completely. I have my quiet moments where I want to people watch and just relax enjoy a beer and then the most annoying question of all time comes up.....'Why are you so quiet?" Gee I don't know *****, maybe because you're not sucking ****! aahahahaha

 

[BraddH]

many girls start to look beautiful after a great connection. And also the opposite way. if there is no connection, many beautiful girls start to look ugly.

 

[JoeMarron]

Like others have said I had the same problem. I still smh at some of the opportunities I missed out on because of shyness/not talking. I agree with Atom, you need to get into the habit of talking to everyone. Don't filter yourself, when you want to say something say it and don't over think it. Guys like us spend too much time in our heads and not enough time paying attention to the real world.

I used to be quiet and shy, not so much anymore. A few months ago I downloaded Stephan Erdman's Pimp Your Lingo audiobook. After listening to it I can pretty much talk to anybody, I was having 2 hour conversations with the last girl I was seeing almost very night, great stuff.

Lol pimp your lingo? Did it seriously help your game/conversation skills? I stay away from PUA products these days but the conversation stuff always intrigues me.

 

[FairShake]

A lot of girls are willing to date guys they aren't very attracted to if they have a connection to them. Or if the guys are funny. Or if they guys are interesting.

Then again, a lot of girls will put up with a boring azzhole if he's good-looking with a big d!ck. There is also such a thing as being too talkative, never heard of someone being too good-looking!

But I think that being too awkward or silent is just as big a turnoff to SOME women as being unattractive. However you can still be a little of either and still do ok just like you can not be the most attractive and still do ok. But maximize your potential in every way.

 

[Willard]

Like others have said I had the same problem. I still smh at some of the opportunities I missed out on because of shyness/not talking. I agree with Atom, you need to get into the habit of talking to everyone. Don't filter yourself, when you want to say something say it and don't over think it. Guys like us spend too much time in our heads and not enough time paying attention to the real world.



Lol pimp your lingo? Did it seriously help your game/conversation skills? I stay away from PUA products these days but the conversation stuff always intrigues me.

Yes, It's not really PUA, it's by a german guy who was studying to be an actor, he teaches you how to ask questions and keep conversations going, it works with everyone not just women and it's very easy to learn and remember.

 

[BeDJ]

I'm not very good looking, probably a 6 on my best day. Factor in height and I'm a few tequilla shots away from bangable. Having said that, I'm no stranger to shucking oysters.

I see a lot of guys use seduction and PUA techniques in conversations. Most of the time, they are trying to hard to apply it or the girl is not interested. Any chick with half a brain will let you know if they are interested in you. How do you identify it? Well, that takes practice and experience so get your ass out there.

When you first read up on Game, being a mystery is over-emphasized. While it is a very good technique, it is highly ineffective during the initial stages of the approach. You need to create excitement. Why should they listen to YOU instead of the other taller, better looking, richer dildos trying to get their d!cks wet? You have to exude positive energy, be the center of attention and bring everyone to your level. Try it out, everyone want to mimic your attitude. Dull people make lame conversations. Excited people make uncontrollable laughter.

As Atom Smasher mentioned, to get better at conversations, you need to be talkative. Don't be socially awkward. Practice. What do you have to lose? The more comfortable you are around people, the more confidence you give off. Women will want your attention and other men would want to be like you. Ignore the women and give the men attention, you'll be stirring up skirt yogurt in no time.

 

[VikingKing]

If your good looking, but have no conversational skills you wont be very successful.

Building rapport requires conversational skills. Unless you have really good passive game, but even then you have to talk to her.

Atom smasher is right. I started do this at school a lot, just talking to who ever is smoking outside. I just walk up, ask them somthing about themselve such as "so whats your major?" them "oh cool." then if they are interested they will say "what about yours?"

Just talk about anything.

Looks are not everything. Trust me.

Women love communication (aka attention). It helps you get your foot in the door (aka rapport)

 

[Don-Kong]

When it becomes your greatest offense, it will cease to be your biggest defense.

I teach confidence/assertive skills and take anxiety workshops in groups. This is really common. In general the better looking people tend to deal more with anxiety issues.

Being talkative doesn't necessarily trump being good looking. But there are many things that trump being good looking and being talkative.

Attraction is played out in the minds of people whether they know it or not. It's what you think about you that counts the most.

 

[FairShake]

Clearly to the girls who have ran away from you being talkative is more important than looks.

Guys tend to talk less than girls. I think they expect that of us. If you are losing MULTIPLE girls because you are too silent then you are probably far more quiet than normal and you do need to come out of your shell a bit.

Usually it's a package deal. You might be light in this particular area and should pay attention to what multiple people say. You don't have to talk as much as them but make the effort to be friendly and open. Ask people about themselves and what they are up to. Share what's going on in your life. Keep it light until deeper connections are built (if they are built). Don't worry about looking awkward, we all do sometimes!

 

[TheGambino]

Be horney and act horney not talkative, dirty talkative, if she likes it, she likes you, you escalate to sex, if she doesnt you move on to the next

Simple as that

(offc first you tease, make her laugh, build some comfort, ask questions, when youre in a cafe or club or some place you just walk over tease, make her laugh, kino and then you go for the sexually related dirty talk while you isolate her and kiss close)