Is being nice always a bad sign?

[El Don]

Is being called nice always a bad sign? :

I am working with this girl and she shows signs of interest that are more than normal, like going out of her way to talk to me and stuff like that even though she has a bf. We saw these two girls leaving and she asks if I like those types of girls. I said yea I generally do, then she proceeded to ask me about my last relationship and what she was like. I dont remember exactly what I said but I said something to the extent that she was crazy and would flip on me for no reason. She then said "why would she flip out on you? your probably one of the nicest guys, I couldnt see you getting mad.....". I cannot stand the word "nice" and hearing that I guess made me realize I probably had no chance with her.

Thats where my question comes in. I know she has a bf but I have been trying to keep interest just should something happen that she doesnt put me in the friend zone. We flirt alot and joke around so it looks like I do keep her interest. I catch her looking at me sometimes and she just smiles and I dont even say anything. Obvious signs of interest but she has a bf so I wont try anything with her. Is it safe to say that because she used the word "nicest" im in the friend zone? or can she still be attracted to me? That word usually spells doom when you hear it but can it be said and still have interest once in a while?

 

[Bvbidd]

I am working with this girl and she shows signs of interest that are more than normal, like going out of her way to talk to me and stuff like that even though she has a bf. We saw these two girls leaving and she asks if I like those types of girls. I said yea I generally do, then she proceeded to ask me about my last relationship and what she was like. I dont remember exactly what I said but I said something to the extent that she was crazy and would flip on me for no reason. She then said "why would she flip out on you? your probably one of the nicest guys, I couldnt see you getting mad.....". I cannot stand the word "nice" and hearing that I guess made me realize I probably had no chance with her.

Thats where my question comes in. I know she has a bf but I have been trying to keep interest just should something happen that she doesnt put me in the friend zone. We flirt alot and joke around so it looks like I do keep her interest. I catch her looking at me sometimes and she just smiles and I dont even say anything. Obvious signs of interest but she has a bf so I wont try anything with her. Is it safe to say that because she used the word "nicest" im in the friend zone? or can she still be attracted to me? That word usually spells doom when you hear it but can it be said and still have interest once in a while?

When you "flirt" are you actually making fun of her or just showing interest?

 

[jonwon]

I am working with this girl and she shows signs of interest that are more than normal, like going out of her way to talk to me and stuff like that even though she has a bf. We saw these two girls leaving and she asks if I like those types of girls. I said yea I generally do, then she proceeded to ask me about my last relationship and what she was like. I dont remember exactly what I said but I said something to the extent that she was crazy and would flip on me for no reason. She then said "why would she flip out on you? your probably one of the nicest guys, I couldnt see you getting mad.....". I cannot stand the word "nice" and hearing that I guess made me realize I probably had no chance with her.

Thats where my question comes in. I know she has a bf but I have been trying to keep interest just should something happen that she doesnt put me in the friend zone. We flirt alot and joke around so it looks like I do keep her interest. I catch her looking at me sometimes and she just smiles and I dont even say anything. Obvious signs of interest but she has a bf so I wont try anything with her. Is it safe to say that because she used the word "nicest" im in the friend zone? or can she still be attracted to me? That word usually spells doom when you hear it but can it be said and still have interest once in a while?

if you wont try anything with her, then WTF are you doing wasting your time?

 

[El Don]

How would you like it if some guy took your girl? I wanted to keep interest in her thats what I was still doing flirting with her. I would do both make fun of her and show interst.

 

[jonwon]

How would you like it if some guy took your girl? I wanted to keep interest in her thats what I was still doing flirting with her. I would do both make fun of her and show interst.

Then whats the point in the post, you want a friend fine, you on the right path this seems to be what you want anyway.

 

[El Don]

Look im not one to try and break people up or take their girls. I just wanted to know if I could keep interest while shes with this guy and not be labeled "friend' but as someone she could be with if something should happen between them. I just wanted to know if from what she said I would be considered a friend. Im not wasting all my time on her either im trying to find other ones but I happen to like this one.

 

[ProtoMan1]

Look im not one to try and break people up or take their girls. I just wanted to know if I could keep interest while shes with this guy and not be labeled "friend' but as someone she could be with if something should happen between them. I just wanted to know if from what she said I would be considered a friend. Im not wasting all my time on her either im trying to find other ones but I happen to like this one.

You are wasting your time. Saying that you are wanting to keep interest while she is dating her BF is a waste of time. It's basically saying you want her but secretly hoping that if there is a smallest sort of chance that she breaks up, she'll jump on board with you. She talks about her BF with you, that screams friendzone.

One thing that the boards here teaches and preaches, NEXT! Date other girls. This is a case of one-itis in a non-blunt way. However, this situation has happened to all of us, its just part of the game.

 

[n00bPimp]

So you're saying you like the attention, you wont try to go further than a friendship because of her relationship, but you also don't want to lose the attention. Sounds like having your cake and eating it too.
Look the fact that she calls you "nice" means nothing more than the opposite of assh0le. You are nice because an assh0le would not give a sh** about her b/f and would have probably made a move on her already, and I mean a real alpha move not just innocent flirting. After a while of you not making a real move she will realize your balls are not big enough and quit giving you so much sexual attention, and will turn into a LJBF attention. Thats just how it works.

 

[KoalaKing]

When you meet a hot babe whom you are interested in having a relationship with you have to at least let her know very quickly that this is on your mind, if you don't then she will place you in the friends only basket which is extremely difficult to break out of.

It is like anything in life, if you don't hit on the girl quickly then you will never be able to get her to become your lover, yet you could meet another girl at a later date and hit onto her immediately and she may become yours.

When I was a teenager I used to play Aussie Rules Football here in Australia, as a footballer I was a very aggressive player, yet at my school the toughest guys veiwed me as being a Wimp, as the result it was harder for me to frighten the guys at my school whom I played against, yet those kids who never knew me away from the football field were alot easier for me to overpower and intimidate, where as the ones who knew me as a Wimp in the beginning I really had to bruttally physically belt them around so that I could obtain that same supremacy over them during a game of football, it is the same with girls, what can be easy if you act in one way at the beginning can be difficult to change if you want to act another way with her at a later date, it is human psychology. :yes:

 

[d9930380]

I think being called nice is a bad sign. I used to get called it all the time from guys and girls. It's only when I started realising that it's normally meant as an insult that I started reading people a bit better and changing.

Nice/good is not a compliment - It's not strong enough, if they where really giving you a compliment it would be great or something stronger still. It's normally delivered with no emotion. When people say this it's normally a patronising insult, one that they know you won't see. At best, it's something people say when they can't think of anything better to say.

Personally i want to now be anything other than NICE.

BTW KoalaKing - Very good point, people's oppinions are almost impossible to change.