Is attraction a decision or not?

[Lynx nkaf]

If ANY woman wants him, then others will

yes, but not all others.





When the scenario plays out and the dude is dumped and the women are best friends again(my specific scenario I wrote about) its analysed that he wasn't a good match anyways.

and @Pandora,
I was thinking about why I was attracted to that dude. He was in the RHLI, the Reserves, and he actually dressed in alot of the army colours(that green and tan colours)
He epitomised a warrior type and he was excruciatingly kind and doting but still selfcontained and abruptly alpha.
Stocky and reputation for being tough but not cut-muscular(which is what I seek now) His height I don't even remember, so that wasn't in my attraction criteria.

 

[mrgoodstuff]

yes, but not all others.

Agree. I was mentioning to the guys, it's better to "date" with that "6" or "7" that really wants you vs going on a long drought in your focused effort to reach the "8" or "9". Once one babe in the environment wants you so will others.

When the scenario plays out and the dude is dumped and the women are best friends again(my specific scenario I wrote about) its analysed that he wasn't a good match anyways.

Whose best friends? The woman and the butch?

and @Pandora,
I was thinking about why I was attracted to that dude. He was in the RHLI, the Reserves, and he actually dressed in alot of the army colours(that green and tan colours)
He epitomised a warrior type and he was excruciatingly kind and doting but still selfcontained and abruptly alpha.
Stocky and reputation for being tough but not cut-muscular(which is what I seek now) His height I don't even remember, so that wasn't in my attraction criteria.

You want cut-muscular, does that get your blood revved up?

 

[mrgoodstuff]

It’s just funny how a woman can beat you over the head only so many times “we are just friends, I told you I don’t want a relationship, you are a great guy but I’m just not interested in dating you” and you finally go off and date someone else. Then here they come “who’s she? Why aren’t you texting me like you used to? Why don’t you hangout with me anymore”. It’s like they want to sell the friendship treatment but when you finally give up and treat THEM like the friend, they scream and cry foul.lol

That "friend zone" crap is bull. They know that guy wants them, and she keeps in there to juice up her ego. Once he un-"friend zones" himself, then she loses that "boost" he formerly provided.

 

[Lynx nkaf]

And not just ANY someone else, but a BETTER someone else. (....)That’s a hell of a gamble. (....) he just simply and quietly moved on.

Its a calculated 'gamble'. Then he wouldn't have lasted longterm = poor match. Congrats to him for finding his 'BETTER' slvt.
He wouldn't have loved me after post *** clarity and my guarded low 'notch count' would have been further smeared and wasted on a lustful, not loving man.

 

[Lynx nkaf]

Agree. I was mentioning to the guys, it's better to "date" with that "6" or "7" that really wants you vs going on a long drought in your focused effort to reach the "8" or "9". Once one babe in the environment wants you so will others.





Whose best friends? The woman and the butch?

You want cut-muscular, does that get your blood revved up?

Yes, those 2 women.

And yes my dear, I admit that it(cut muscularity)does. Dammit I want that intimidation factor holding my hand wherever I go. Sorry if it sounds like I'm using men as bodyguards now.

Its how I know I'm not ace like I previously identified.

 

[mrgoodstuff]

Yes my dear, I admit that it does. Its how I know I'm not ace like I previously identified.

It's probably better that you have that.

 

[mrgoodstuff]

Its a calculated 'gamble'. Then he wouldn't have lasted longterm = poor match. Congrats to him for finding his 'BETTER' slvt.
He wouldn't have loved me after post *** clarity and my guarded low 'notch count' would have been further smeared and wasted on a lustful, not loving man.

Hey now... We men can be full of lust and full of love for the same person. It's better that way. And it's better for our women to have a shyt ton of lust and a shyt ton of love for us.

 

[Robert28]

I see it. It's true.
What is it about friendzoning a guy? Maybe she thinks he'll make a good start to her social circle(social proof pantry stores to use for future luring of unsuspecting seductees?)

The women that have done it to me have come out of “bad relationships”(their words) and we’d date a couple months and then they’d lay the “let’s be friends, I’m not ready to be in a serious relationship, I need to get over my ex”. They wait until I’ve already somewhat invested in them and it makes it harder to walk away rather than had they done it from the getgo or after a date or two. Then what they do is continue pursuing you like they did before they gave you that speech and it feels like a relationship but the sex is cut off. Then they string you along some more “I like you, I want you in my life, just not ready for a relationship”. Then they slowly start tightening the friends screws and searching for someone new while keeping you on the back burner. They make sure to hangout with you and keep in contact just enough so you don’t have time to go meet someone else.

 

[Lynx nkaf]

It's probably better that you have that.

thanks, I'm trying to strategise more cunningly now.
I'm thinking a parttime job in a gym.
I can get the eye candy, free membership too, judge and discern at leisure(and get paid for it...yes minimum wage but who gives a flying ****? I already have a fulltime day job)
I can exchange two skills....I'm not just going to take, take, take.

One skill: I have a cheerleading, pollyanna personality and have a generous nature of complimenting, encouraging, kissing up and motivating while protecting a man's self pride and ego AND 2nd skill: I'm cooking more and more so I can share freely all the healthy recipes I'm using, and there's my plausible deniability for number closing these muscular guys at my parttime workplace.

Good idea, no?

 

[Lynx nkaf]

The women that have done it to me have come out of “bad relationships”(their words) and we’d date a couple months and then they’d lay the “let’s be friends, I’m not ready to be in a serious relationship, I need to get over my ex”. They wait until I’ve already somewhat invested in them and it makes it harder to walk away rather than had they done it from the getgo or afternoon a date or two. Then what they do is continue pursuing you like they did before they gave you that speech and it feels like a relationship but the sex is cut off. Then they string you along some more “I like you, I want you in my life, just not ready for a relationship”. Then they slowly start tightening the friends screws and searching for someone new while keeping you on the back burner. They make sure to hangout with you and keep in contact just enough so you don’t have time to go meet someone else.

awww, that's somewhat abusive to you man. You're right, why couldn't they have at least told you the first afternoon? Sorry this has happened to you. **** them, s & d, full nc man. You are a good guy that won't put up with this.

 

[Robert28]

awww, that's somewhat abusive to you man. You're right, why couldn't they have at least told you the first afternoon? Sorry this has happened to you. **** them, s & d, full nc man. You are a good guy that won't put up with this.

That’s why I never will ever be friends with a woman ever again. I make it clear up front, if you utter the F word around me I will ghost you. Last girl that did me like that I genuinely loved her, other girls saw how I treated her and thought “hey, I want that! Just because she can’t see it doesn’t mean I can’t!” and she lost out in the end. She doesn’t know it but she lost the one guy whose love for her was genuine which is why I held on as long as I did and tolerated that treatment as long as I did. I’m glad I’m out of it though because the woman that claimed me from her, treated me awesome. She was HOT too. That other girl knew she screwed up even though she’ll never admit it.

 

[Lynx nkaf]

That’s why I never will ever be friends with a woman ever again. I make it clear up front, if you utter the F word around me I will ghost you. Last girl that did me like that I genuinely loved her, other girls saw how I treated her and thought “hey, I want that! Just because she can’t see it doesn’t mean I can’t!” and she lost out in the end. She doesn’t know it but she lost the one guy whose love for her was genuine which is why I held on as long as I did and tolerated that treatment as long as I did. I’m glad I’m out of it though because the woman that claimed me from her, treated me awesome. She was HOT too. That other girl knew she screwed up even though she’ll never admit it.

Awesome!!
Win!
Its challenging when you love someone so hard but its not reciprocated in kind. The same way.
There was something on wikihow about this and how to avoid loving someone who doesn't love you back.

Wikihow is something I use because when I google something I usually ask the internet in the form of a question and wikihow always seems to come up in my search results.
I use other ways of searching the internet too but the question asking is my favourite

 

[mrgoodstuff]

Yes, those 2 women.

And yes my dear, I admit that it(cut muscularity)does. Dammit I want that intimidation factor holding my hand wherever I go. Sorry if it sounds like I'm using men as bodyguards now.

Its how I know I'm not ace like I previously identified.

Your "not ace"? What does that mean?

 

[Lynx nkaf]

Your "not ace"? What does that mean?

its snowflake orientation I identified with for awhile.

 

[Reyaj]

It mostly comes down to whether a girl is attracted to your looks. There is also something to kissing where that can be enhanced or lost though. About to start updating my theories as I've been away. Looking forward to immersing into this key topic.