"Stop Asking Your Friends What to Text Her"

Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."

You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.

She's been waiting forty minutes.

Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.

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is arranging a date by text after 2 days too soon?

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pete101

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i know generally the rule is if you call then wait 2 days minimum i.e. get the number on sunday call wednesday, but with texting they say do it 2 days after i.e. on the tuesday (but that's not directly to ask her out, but to build rapport) if im going to just straight ask her out via text is 2 days too soon?

she's working long hours and if i call she most likely wont pick up (because she works in a casino with odd hours every day) also i dont want to wait for a call back cos i might be busy and cant take the call either. so texting makes it easier and saves time. plus by the time she calls me back it might be closer to the weekend and i dont want to arrange a date for a weekend but a weeknight to reduce flaking plus i dont want it to stretch till next week when the IL may have gone down. if i got the number on sunday is texting today too soon?
 

"Nervous Around Beautiful Women? There's a Rule for That"

I could talk to any woman I wasn't attracted to. Charming, funny, relaxed. Then a gorgeous woman looked my way and I'd become a sweating, babbling mess.

The fix took me years to find and ten minutes to learn. Nervousness and excitement are the same physical state — pounding heart, adrenaline, flushed face. Your brain just picks the label. And you can pick a better one.

Rule 16 shows you how. You feel the nerves, relabel them as excitement, and let that energy pour out as enthusiasm. Women notice the guy radiating it. They always do.

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Iceberg

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No. Definitely not too soon.
 
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pete101

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ok but would it be better if i waited one more day to send it or does it really make little or no difference?
 
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thevilittletroll

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if its a cold approach situation the sooner the better. once ive left the bar i'll text them as soon as i get home, just saying i got home safe. then the next day using some callback humor. proceed from there. if you already know the girl you can wait a little longer.

when you first meet a girl in a bar and get her number, ask yourself how many times has she given her phone number out to another random guy this week? how can i stand out from everyone else?

the reason you want to contact her asap is one, is to make sure she remembers you. she was probably drinking, if you were in a bar. and two, to keep her in the attracted state you put her into when you met. it wears off really fast within a day or two. if she gave her phone number out 3 or 4 times that night and she was drinking, she might not remember at all.

another advantage to texting at the end of the night when you get home is you can turn it into a booty call.
 

"She Made Her Decision Before You Finished Your Sentence"

Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.

She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.

Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.

So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.

The words come later. The impression comes first.

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Sandow

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I have to disagree with the consensus here. Girls just seem to hate guys that are pushy or too eager IMO. My thought process is that I don't care, I text her when I can and take her out when I'm free, which isn't always right off the bat. At least make it seem like you have other options. Trust me, this will get her thinking a little bit. Feelings, make em feel. Don't be predictable.

I'm speaking with experience here. I'm naturally really on top of stuff at work and in life, and I always respond to things right away. I guess you can say I lack in patience and when I transferred this into my dating life, it has absolutely back fired on me.
 
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Iceberg

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Sandow said:
I have to disagree with the consensus here. Girls just seem to hate guys that are pushy or too eager IMO. My thought process is that I don't care, I text her when I can and take her out when I'm free, which isn't always right off the bat. At least make it seem like you have other options. Trust me, this will get her thinking a little bit. Feelings, make em feel. Don't be predictable.

I'm speaking with experience here. I'm naturally really on top of stuff at work and in life, and I always respond to things right away. I guess you can say I lack in patience and when I transferred this into my dating life, it has absolutely back fired on me.
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Eh. I contact them when I want to. If that means 1 day after getting the number, then that's what I do. I think it'll take more than one text to appear "pushy and eager".

If you meet a girl on Friday and text her monday saying, "Hey it's Sandow from the party. What are you up to this week. Let's get a drink."....the girl's not gonna be like "Ew. He's so pushy!"

If you make a habit of begging her to come out 5 nights a week, then yeah, that's a different story.

If there's a time when I DO decide to play the "wait and make her sweat" game, it's after the first date. Then, maybe I'll wait like 3 days to check in. But for the first date, I'm just trying to make it happen. Just like Woody Allen said, "90% of life is just showing up." Let's get date#1 out of the way, and THEN worry about strategy.
 
VladPatton

VladPatton

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Go for it man. Make sure you keep the date nice and light and see how it goes from there. Try not to over think it. Good luck.
 
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