Is approaching girls in public really that inappropriate?

[madlib]

The other day I was in the speedway by my house and there was this super hot chick in front of me. I live in a town of about 60,000. Most of whom are either: Fat blonde girls in yoga pants, homeless autistic jugallos, people driving in trucks with confederate flags (im in the north), and old retard perverts who hang out down by the river feeding pigeons. So hot girls are rare here.

But this girl. She looked out of the city, like some urban hipster type, red hair, maybe 5 3, 90-100 lb. Looked kinda dirty but the kind of dirty that can easily be fixed with a shower and some makeup and a dress, looked like she had low self esteem but not in a slutty way. Just my type.

So here I am in line thinking "what do I say to this girl? she is so beautiful" when my mind starts to flood with all of the videos i've seen of girls getting cat called on the street, all of the things I've seen on my ex-girlfriends tumblr that are along the lines of "A girl sitting alone is not an invitation for you" etc. I think of all of the posts on the internet that i've seen that makes you feel uncomfortable for this kind of stuff, and I freeze.

I can't go up to this girl and talk to her. My intentions aren't even sex really. i just think shes cute and I need cute girls to take out to coffee shops and **** like that, I just moved to this town and its all trash. But I can't go up and talk to this girl, it will make her feel uncomfortable and she'll just get angry.

So I go home and I tell my roommate about this. He starts talking down to me like a child about how its taboo to walk up to girls in public and ask them for there numbers and ****, thats too aggressive, thats cat-calling, etc. This dude doesn't know ****, his girlfriend has cheated on him twice and he knows about it and is just like in denial or refuses to believe it or something and just lets himself get walked on.


I've been thinking about this since. I'm never gonna see this young girl again. I'll dream about her for the next week or 2 til the same type of thing happens. I was sitting at work today and I was fantasizing about if I would have said something to this girl, the off chance that she would have given me her number and I would have started dating her and had a future with her. That could have changed my life.

Of course, thats just a fantasy, but i came to the conclusion that my mind has been warped by this **** into not being able to bring myself to walk up to random females in public and talk to them. I had no problem with this like 6 years ago.

Am I crazy or am I onto something? also how do I start conversation with random ladies without coming off as aggressive or a creep? at the end of the day, my intentions are pretty straightforward and pure. I'm not a pervert or like a sex fiend or anything. I just want a girlfriend, even if its not a serious thing. Is going up to random girls in public and introducing yourself and saying something along the lines of "Hey, I think youre kinda cute, can i take you out for coffee sometime?" really that misogynist or chauvinist?

 

[dustmuffin]

Just do it...action....rejection is better than regret. Who cares what people think of you?

 

[skinnyguy]

The real problem is that you need to move. Guys who live in towns that have confederate flags are doomed.

 

[fastlife]

God, how is talking to another human being misogynistic or chauvinist lol? Only issue I see here is that you're seeking value--"I just want a girlfriend." Should be more along the lines of "I'm giving this girl the privilege of meeting me and possibly entering my world." Your intention will alter your subcommunications and the women you approach will pick up on that and respond accordingly.

Approach her next time. No sirens go off. Speedway won't ban you from their store or post your picture on their door as the local creep. Worst that can happen is she smiles awkwardly and tries to brush you off--you might feel awkward at first, rejection sucks, but you won't ever have to wonder what could've been.

 

[mrgoodstuff]

You start by opening your mouth. Notice something about her and comment. It's easiest if you see this person somewhat often and you can have something in relation to one another.

My style was to observe women who did a double take on me and then just say "hello" and let the communication flow. You get the phone number quickly and go from there.

 

[amazingswayze]

Just do it...action....rejection is better than regret. Who cares what people think of you?

there's nothing wrong with approaching in public. every person who says its weird is too scared to do it themself. you just care too much what other people think. REJECTION IS BETTER THAN REGRET. now you're daydreaming about this girl. next time, just approach dude. that is the only way to get the girl.

 

[JohnChops]

is approaching another dude in public and talking to them about whatever weird? No. Okay good. Then why should it be different with girls?

 

[gravityeyelids]

How do you do it? The same way you normally do it. You take away the fear of approaching by doing numerous approaches and being rejected dozens of times. Theres no secret line for approaching. Theres a few fallbacks you can use if you absolutely freeze, but you have to find those and tailor them to your style and remember them.

As for cold approaching girls... Books like The Game and Mystery type material have way overemphasized the cold approach thing. It's an easy sell: "YOU can approach ANY hot girl on the street and be in her pants within hours if you use OUR method!" Im not a fan of cold approaches. Fact is that girls are far more likely to go with you if they have a common connection: you have friends in common, worked at the same place, go to the same school, frequent the same bar/restaurant/store/gym. i'm a bigger fan of social circle and night game. The results speak for themselves. Cold approach has much lower odds. I could run 80 cold approaches and maybe end up with a coffee date. The last on-fire night at the bar I ended up with 5 numbers: one of them I took home that night and slept with, another I met up another time for a hookup, and the other three are willing to meet up for coffee. I probably approached 7-10 girls that night. The next time I went out (last week), I ended up running into a girl I has met at a bar a few weeks before and laid the groundwork for and was in her bed an hour later. it's like using a spreadsheet to kill your target vs a rifle. You could blast away at a group and hope you hit something, or you can zero in on very high potential targets. That's what I like to do.

I think it's weird to approach a girl in the day with an aggressive style similar to how youd approach a girl at the bar with lots of kino etc. However, if you use a more social and friendly style, it can pay off. Maybe I'm just a pu$$y but I rarely cold approach unless the opportunity presents itself. That being said, don't let me discourage you from doing so. I think it's perhps the single best tool for killing AA

 

[HoneyHitter]

Just do it and stop talking about it. In general, stop talking about however hot a chick is with other guys. It's useless.

Let the girls do the talking after you drilled them out of their panties.

 

[El Payaso]

Your roommate is a stupid white knight. His opinion is irrelevant.

Always remember that walking up to a woman and striking conversation is only misogynistic and creepy if you're ugly as the devil's butt. If you look like Channing Tatum or Idris Elba, it is hot and romantic.

Stop giving a sh*t about what women and white knights say. If you see a woman you find attractive, walk up to her and strike up conversation.