This is getting ridiculous. I've gone on 4 first dates with 4 different girls lately and I'll be dammed if I haven't struck out with every single one of them. When I say struck out I mean we go out and have a (seemingly) fun time. I say that because these girls aren't looking at their watch and saying "oh look at the time, I gotta get up early in the morning. Bye!" No, they act like they aren't in any hurry to end the date and from their body language and communication they are sending ALL the right signals of someone who's interested. Sorry but if I'm on a date with someone I'm not interested in the last thing I'm going to do is hangout with their @$$ for 4 hours. Like we'll be out somewhere and then they suggest we go somewhere else afterwards. I've even kissed them all, madeout and everything. Something is up and I can't figure out wtf it is. It can't be anything I'm doing because I'm doing the same sh!t I've always done that's worked many times before but it's not working now for some reason. I keep misreading these girls level of interest somehow. Used to be when a girl wasn't interested it was EASY to detect, now it's not. I mean, hell, I went on a date with a girl before that I though "man I fvcked this all up" and thought the date sucked, next day she's texting me wanting to hangout again. So basically the (seemingly) fun dates aren't getting me anywhere but one I think the girl isn't interested AT ALL, she ends up being very interested. Yeah, I think I'm done dating for awhile. A good long @$$ while. I do hate the fact that I've wasted 4 nights pursuing girls that in the end weren't worth my time. Glad they agreed to pay their own way because I'd have really felt like a dumb@$$ then.
Why "Whatever You Want" Keeps You Single
She says the movie looks dumb; you suddenly agree. She tests you with a little attitude; you apologize for nothing.
You think you're being easy to get along with. She reads something else entirely: a man with no edges. Nothing to hold on to. No friction, no tension, no reason to wonder what he really thinks.
The "22 Rules" taught me to push back — playfully, calmly, without needing her approval. Strange things happened after that.
Is anyone else having a bad streak of striking out after the first date?
- Thread starter Robert28
- Start date
"Stop Asking Your Friends What to Text Her"
Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."
You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.
She's been waiting forty minutes.
Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.
I mean, it wasn't like anything made them all of a sudden leave. I'm telling you, these were all normal dates. I've racked my brain about what might have gone wrong but I've come up with nothing. One girl told me to text her when I got home (I didn't because that's a trap so I texted her the next day). She said there was no chemistry between us and she wasn't interested. Ummm ok then why'd you makeout with me? Why'd you hang out with me that long? This girl also text me all the time two days leading up to the date and in person the conversation and all was fine. The whole chemistry line is bs in my opinion anyways. Another one of the girls claimed she was too busy for a relationship. Trust me, I've told everything I can think of that happened. Looking back I don't see where anything went wrong or any signal was given that they were not interested.
Doesn't mean much bro. Girls can be really good actors when they want to be.
Bro this is most ridiculous statement ever. That's like saying "I've always thrown my fastball up high and the hitter has missed. Now it's not working because the hitter is hitting it. It's not my fault."
Why do you think it's something you did? Maybe the girl who was interested wanted some action/thought you were hot/wanted company. People have their own issues.
And there is 98.8% of your reason.
Lozboss
Master Don Juan
TRUMP that's not a helpful post- AT ALL.
OP:
I know the feeling- I've had the same streak. The problem is the more it happens the more it affects your subconscious.
I'd honestly take a break for three months. Then hit it again and just concentrate on having fun- if it goes nowhere it goes nowhere.
I often organize dates at places I want to go to (this xmas i wanted to learn to ice skate so i did loads of dates there and got the girls to teach me).
OP:
I know the feeling- I've had the same streak. The problem is the more it happens the more it affects your subconscious.
I'd honestly take a break for three months. Then hit it again and just concentrate on having fun- if it goes nowhere it goes nowhere.
I often organize dates at places I want to go to (this xmas i wanted to learn to ice skate so i did loads of dates there and got the girls to teach me).
RangerMIke
Master Don Juan
Without enough detail hard to say whats going on.
You're likely just having a bad streak... This has happened to all of us. But if anything is wrong that you can fix it's obvious that you are getting frustrated by this. Like a baseball player that is in a slump, it messes with your mind. Women are VERY intuitive and they are likely picking up on this and sensing it as desperation.
But when a woman says "there is no chemistry" take this to the bank, she's just not feeling anything sexual with you. The fact she made out with you is meaningless. She probably likes you, and was trying to see if she could generate any sexual vib but it just wasn't happening. Women do this a lot with men they like... they want to feel something, but it's just not there.
You CAN create chemistry.... BUT if she is not physically attracted to you you will not get this off the ground. So you have to have this going for you.
If this is there then what you have to do is maintain a masculine frame (ie dominate) you do this from the get go, you set the pace... you pick the time/place/activity for the date, show up clean and well put together and ON TIME (women can be late, men can't), this shows you are a man that likes to take charge and has his sh!t together. You are in charge of the evening, you take the lead.
On the date at some point you have to build an emotional connection. You do this by building report with something that you both have in common, and COMMUNICATE emotionally, don't say you 'feel' sh!t, describe what you are feeling in emotional terms. It's the difference between saying "I'm was happy." and saying "It was like I was a kid on Christmas morning.". There was an old Star Trek Next Generation Episode, I can't remember what it was called, but they came across an race that they could not communicate with because while they could translate the words, it was meaningless to them because this race communicated emotionally through events in their history, without that frame of reference (their history) you didn't know what they were saying. This is what you have to do with women, you describe how you feel based on an event that you have in common.
Although you did not say this, I will tell you when I've found myself in slumps it was the kind of first dates I was on... I did a lot of happy hour first dates, and it was right after Uber came out, so I didn't care about drinking too much, and it was totally fvcking up my frame. Too much alcohol will mess you up, no more than a couple of drinks, after that you are really paying attention to what is going on and you start playing it by ear, which means at that point you are only relying on luck... not a good place to be. So mix things up, change what you are doing on first dates, stay away from alcohol and see if that helps.
Good luck, if you want to take a break go ahead, by my advice to you is change up you approach a little and get back up on the horse.
You're likely just having a bad streak... This has happened to all of us. But if anything is wrong that you can fix it's obvious that you are getting frustrated by this. Like a baseball player that is in a slump, it messes with your mind. Women are VERY intuitive and they are likely picking up on this and sensing it as desperation.
But when a woman says "there is no chemistry" take this to the bank, she's just not feeling anything sexual with you. The fact she made out with you is meaningless. She probably likes you, and was trying to see if she could generate any sexual vib but it just wasn't happening. Women do this a lot with men they like... they want to feel something, but it's just not there.
You CAN create chemistry.... BUT if she is not physically attracted to you you will not get this off the ground. So you have to have this going for you.
If this is there then what you have to do is maintain a masculine frame (ie dominate) you do this from the get go, you set the pace... you pick the time/place/activity for the date, show up clean and well put together and ON TIME (women can be late, men can't), this shows you are a man that likes to take charge and has his sh!t together. You are in charge of the evening, you take the lead.
On the date at some point you have to build an emotional connection. You do this by building report with something that you both have in common, and COMMUNICATE emotionally, don't say you 'feel' sh!t, describe what you are feeling in emotional terms. It's the difference between saying "I'm was happy." and saying "It was like I was a kid on Christmas morning.". There was an old Star Trek Next Generation Episode, I can't remember what it was called, but they came across an race that they could not communicate with because while they could translate the words, it was meaningless to them because this race communicated emotionally through events in their history, without that frame of reference (their history) you didn't know what they were saying. This is what you have to do with women, you describe how you feel based on an event that you have in common.
Although you did not say this, I will tell you when I've found myself in slumps it was the kind of first dates I was on... I did a lot of happy hour first dates, and it was right after Uber came out, so I didn't care about drinking too much, and it was totally fvcking up my frame. Too much alcohol will mess you up, no more than a couple of drinks, after that you are really paying attention to what is going on and you start playing it by ear, which means at that point you are only relying on luck... not a good place to be. So mix things up, change what you are doing on first dates, stay away from alcohol and see if that helps.
Good luck, if you want to take a break go ahead, by my advice to you is change up you approach a little and get back up on the horse.
"She's Out of Your League"
You've said it a hundred times. Maybe a thousand. And every time you say it, you train your brain to freeze the next time she walks into the room.
Leagues are a myth invented by guys who are scared of women.
She's a person. She has bad breath in the morning. She picks songs she can't sing in the shower. She overthinks her own texts.
Walk over. Say something. The league dissolves the second you open your mouth.