Is anyone else having a bad streak of striking out after the first date?

[Robert28]

This is getting ridiculous. I've gone on 4 first dates with 4 different girls lately and I'll be dammed if I haven't struck out with every single one of them. When I say struck out I mean we go out and have a (seemingly) fun time. I say that because these girls aren't looking at their watch and saying "oh look at the time, I gotta get up early in the morning. Bye!" No, they act like they aren't in any hurry to end the date and from their body language and communication they are sending ALL the right signals of someone who's interested. Sorry but if I'm on a date with someone I'm not interested in the last thing I'm going to do is hangout with their @$$ for 4 hours. Like we'll be out somewhere and then they suggest we go somewhere else afterwards. I've even kissed them all, madeout and everything. Something is up and I can't figure out wtf it is. It can't be anything I'm doing because I'm doing the same sh!t I've always done that's worked many times before but it's not working now for some reason. I keep misreading these girls level of interest somehow. Used to be when a girl wasn't interested it was EASY to detect, now it's not. I mean, hell, I went on a date with a girl before that I though "man I fvcked this all up" and thought the date sucked, next day she's texting me wanting to hangout again. So basically the (seemingly) fun dates aren't getting me anywhere but one I think the girl isn't interested AT ALL, she ends up being very interested. Yeah, I think I'm done dating for awhile. A good long @$$ while. I do hate the fact that I've wasted 4 nights pursuing girls that in the end weren't worth my time. Glad they agreed to pay their own way because I'd have really felt like a dumb@$$ then.

 

[Robert28]

At what point did the each of your four dates transition from high interest and having fun, to suddenly the fun stopped and/or the date ended? What happened with each one? What do you think caused the vibe/her interest to change, in the woman's experience? Was there any follow up texts from you or from any of the women after these dates? Any further interest displayed at all? You are the constant variable in all four so the invitation is to be honest in your sharing. Perhaps you are not seeing something and help can be offered here.

I mean, it wasn't like anything made them all of a sudden leave. I'm telling you, these were all normal dates. I've racked my brain about what might have gone wrong but I've come up with nothing. One girl told me to text her when I got home (I didn't because that's a trap so I texted her the next day). She said there was no chemistry between us and she wasn't interested. Ummm ok then why'd you makeout with me? Why'd you hang out with me that long? This girl also text me all the time two days leading up to the date and in person the conversation and all was fine. The whole chemistry line is bs in my opinion anyways. Another one of the girls claimed she was too busy for a relationship. Trust me, I've told everything I can think of that happened. Looking back I don't see where anything went wrong or any signal was given that they were not interested.

 

[Trump]

This is getting ridiculous. I've gone on 4 first dates with 4 different girls lately and I'll be dammed if I haven't struck out with every single one of them. When I say struck out I mean we go out and have a (seemingly) fun time. I say that because these girls aren't looking at their watch and saying "oh look at the time, I gotta get up early in the morning. Bye!" No, they act like they aren't in any hurry to end the date and from their body language and communication they are sending ALL the right signals of someone who's interested.

Doesn't mean much bro. Girls can be really good actors when they want to be.

It can't be anything I'm doing because I'm doing the same sh!t I've always done that's worked many times before but it's not working now for some reason.

Bro this is most ridiculous statement ever. That's like saying "I've always thrown my fastball up high and the hitter has missed. Now it's not working because the hitter is hitting it. It's not my fault."

I mean, hell, I went on a date with a girl before that I though "man I fvcked this all up" and thought the date sucked, next day she's texting me wanting to hangout again. So basically the (seemingly) fun dates aren't getting me anywhere but one I think the girl isn't interested AT ALL, she ends up being very interested.

Why do you think it's something you did? Maybe the girl who was interested wanted some action/thought you were hot/wanted company. People have their own issues.

Glad they agreed to pay their own way because I'd have really felt like a dumb@$$ then.

And there is 98.8% of your reason.

 

[Lozboss]

TRUMP that's not a helpful post- AT ALL.

OP:

I know the feeling- I've had the same streak. The problem is the more it happens the more it affects your subconscious.

I'd honestly take a break for three months. Then hit it again and just concentrate on having fun- if it goes nowhere it goes nowhere.

I often organize dates at places I want to go to (this xmas i wanted to learn to ice skate so i did loads of dates there and got the girls to teach me).

 

[RangerMIke]

Without enough detail hard to say whats going on.

You're likely just having a bad streak... This has happened to all of us. But if anything is wrong that you can fix it's obvious that you are getting frustrated by this. Like a baseball player that is in a slump, it messes with your mind. Women are VERY intuitive and they are likely picking up on this and sensing it as desperation.

But when a woman says "there is no chemistry" take this to the bank, she's just not feeling anything sexual with you. The fact she made out with you is meaningless. She probably likes you, and was trying to see if she could generate any sexual vib but it just wasn't happening. Women do this a lot with men they like... they want to feel something, but it's just not there.

You CAN create chemistry.... BUT if she is not physically attracted to you you will not get this off the ground. So you have to have this going for you.

If this is there then what you have to do is maintain a masculine frame (ie dominate) you do this from the get go, you set the pace... you pick the time/place/activity for the date, show up clean and well put together and ON TIME (women can be late, men can't), this shows you are a man that likes to take charge and has his sh!t together. You are in charge of the evening, you take the lead.

On the date at some point you have to build an emotional connection. You do this by building report with something that you both have in common, and COMMUNICATE emotionally, don't say you 'feel' sh!t, describe what you are feeling in emotional terms. It's the difference between saying "I'm was happy." and saying "It was like I was a kid on Christmas morning.". There was an old Star Trek Next Generation Episode, I can't remember what it was called, but they came across an race that they could not communicate with because while they could translate the words, it was meaningless to them because this race communicated emotionally through events in their history, without that frame of reference (their history) you didn't know what they were saying. This is what you have to do with women, you describe how you feel based on an event that you have in common.

Although you did not say this, I will tell you when I've found myself in slumps it was the kind of first dates I was on... I did a lot of happy hour first dates, and it was right after Uber came out, so I didn't care about drinking too much, and it was totally fvcking up my frame. Too much alcohol will mess you up, no more than a couple of drinks, after that you are really paying attention to what is going on and you start playing it by ear, which means at that point you are only relying on luck... not a good place to be. So mix things up, change what you are doing on first dates, stay away from alcohol and see if that helps.

Good luck, if you want to take a break go ahead, by my advice to you is change up you approach a little and get back up on the horse.