"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"

You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.

And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.

Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.

The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.

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Is an apology or an explanation ever warranted if u f'd up when u start dating?

drift_king

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if the girl is angry with me, literally furious and gives me an evil stare as i walk by and pretends not to see me, is there any situation where it's warranted to apologise or explain?

i heard neither of these things are manly. but my scenario is awkward.

i feel like i should at least confront her for her immature behaviour or make a comment next time i say hi in a joking way 'hey, you're not very subtle u know, i dont know why you're still angry. it's not very mature, you're 24 years old.'
 

"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

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drift_king

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the scenario is that i had a 2nd date with this girl on monday, it went great but she didnt trust me that i liked her for her and maybe only wanted her for 1 thing and cos her nationality.

i f'd up the next day cos i was trying to avoid seeing her on campus and i overdid and hid away, then later i saw her and said hi and went up to her which i shouldn't. she asked me to sit down. i did. she was watching a film on her laptop and had earphones in her ear and appeared to be ignoring me (which turned out not to be the case). i didnt know what to do in that situation so i was stuck there frozen not sure whether to go or stay.

i asked her what was wrong, she told me nothing and she was just busy. i didn't believe her cos it seemed like BS but i kept pressing and she got annoyed and more angry, eventually she told me she wasnt watching this film for fun and it was for work which she had a meeting for in an hour. im not a mind reader how am i suppose to know that?!

it got to such a bad situation where she was literally gritting her teeth about to yell at me in front of everyone. i left and said goodbye, however i did still ask if we were still on the next night.. haha.. that was so weak.

that night should i have explained the misunderstanding or said something to that effect?
 

AAAgent

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how can u like a girl on the 2nd date already....and not only that but tell her you like her already. That's just mad weird. she's probably pissed off that u got her hopes up of being a great guy and it turns out u became typical afc and dissapointed her and she's mad u wasted her time.

Always let the girl say she likes u, and if u ever feel like her response warrants an answer just smile back...maybe a kiss if she's a keeper. Actions man actions...words are for women.
 

Sexual

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Why aren't there stickies anymore to refer newbies to the DJ Bible or boot camp anymore? I'm sure this guy doesn't know what an AFC is...

drift king, you're clueless, and to tell you otherwise would be a waste.

there's a link at the bottom of the page that says "DJ Bible". go there and READ READ READ. start with newbie material--put your ego aside and know that we all need reconstruction of our thoughts and dating technique.

i had someone flame me when i was in your position, so im being subtle. you're a grown man and you're drooling over this one girl who's making you look ridiculous. educate yourself--it's here and it's free for you to change your life and live to your potential. im tired of these posts and going to bed lol.
 

horaholic

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OK, if you were trying to avoid her, why do you care, that she's avoiding you back?

Also, who the hell ever said apologizing was unmanly? You people take this shyt too literally. You acted like a child, and you're asking whether you should apologize or not? YES, apologize. Avoiding chicks is AFC, btw. The alpha thing to do, is get in their space, and drive them away, if you dont want them around.

And, to clue you in, about the apology thing: the rule of thumb is, keep apologies to a minimum, and only if they're warranted. The point is, dont give up your manliness, by apologizing whenever she's pissed for no reason, aka, being a woman. And dont ever apologize unless you knowingly did something wrong, which you did.

Example:

Last night, I was at the bar, and this chick who led me on once was there. I am cool with her, but I like to fvck with her at the same time. I grabbed here boob, and she got mad, so next time I saw here I grabbed her ass instead and was like "hey, you just said dont grab your boobs" (so everybody knows, I was not doing this in a creepy way)

Anyway, the new bouncer at the bar comes up to me later and says "dont ever grab my girl." I was like "Who is that?" and he told me it was her. I said " I didnt know she was anyones girl" and we shook hands, but I was trying to be all alpha, and condescending towards him, cuz I know this chick pretty good, and she's a little slvt anyway.

Then I thought about it, and realized that I disrespected him, so a little while later I went up and introduced myself, and told him that I didnt mean to disrespect him, and it wont happen again, and I thought she was single, and shook his hand for real. However, I didnt apologize, because I didnt know she was anyones 'girl', so I didnt KNOWINGLY do anything wrong. What I did, was own up to the fact that I disrespected him, and told him I wouldn't do it again.

Also, I sure as hell didnt apologize to her for grabbing her boobs. I only did it cuz she comes up and grabs my nipples sometimes, so thats fair game, in my book. I simply told her that she deserves it for wearing a shirt with rhinestones on her tits, and commented about how girls always flaunt their tits, but get pissed when guys look at them, and how stupid they are. This chick is cool, but she pisses me off, so I always try to make out with her, just to see if she'll do it. I think she thinks I like her, so its funny. She led me on when i first met her. I didnt know or care who she was, then she made the moves on me, and eventually, I reciprocated, and she backed off and ljbf'd me, and even though it means that I did something wrong, I hate chicks that do that, so I fvck with her a little, and am kind of a dyck, whenever I see her (but not TOO much). The thing is, she puts up with it, and likes me anyway, and buys me beers and stuff.

Does this make sense?

EDIT: and one more thing. Her anger towards you is a sign of emotion, which is always a good thing. I've turned chicks hating me into lays, on several occasions. Be an a$$hole until they call you out on it, then apologize, and be nice to them. It stirs their emotions up, and creates a lot of attraction. Like your other thread, hatred is not the opposite of love. Essentially, they are very similar emotions. You know how in movies, when the main characters hate each others guts, then all of a sudden they start making out, and fvck? That works in real life. Capitalize on it.

Chicks need their emotions stirred up!

If I were you, I'd make good with this chick right now, and, make a move immediately, while her emotions are still running hot.
 
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"She Made Her Decision Before You Finished Your Sentence"

Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.

She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.

Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.

So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.

The words come later. The impression comes first.

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Deadly_Ripped

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If you did something wrong, then be a man and apologize.

If you didn't do something wrong, then be a man and let her be angry over nothing.
 

xectxny19x

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Deadly_Ripped said:
If you did something wrong, then be a man and apologize.

If you didn't do something wrong, then be a man and let her be angry over nothing.
short and sweet. there you go.
 

drift king

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horaholic said:
OK, if you were trying to avoid her, why do you care, that she's avoiding you back?

Also, who the hell ever said apologizing was unmanly? You people take this shyt too literally. You acted like a child, and you're asking whether you should apologize or not? YES, apologize. Avoiding chicks is AFC, btw. The alpha thing to do, is get in their space, and drive them away, if you dont want them around.

And, to clue you in, about the apology thing: the rule of thumb is, keep apologies to a minimum, and only if they're warranted. The point is, dont give up your manliness, by apologizing whenever she's pissed for no reason, aka, being a woman. And dont ever apologize unless you knowingly did something wrong, which you did.

Example:

Last night, I was at the bar, and this chick who led me on once was there. I am cool with her, but I like to fvck with her at the same time. I grabbed here boob, and she got mad, so next time I saw here I grabbed her ass instead and was like "hey, you just said dont grab your boobs" (so everybody knows, I was not doing this in a creepy way)

Anyway, the new bouncer at the bar comes up to me later and says "dont ever grab my girl." I was like "Who is that?" and he told me it was her. I said " I didnt know she was anyones girl" and we shook hands, but I was trying to be all alpha, and condescending towards him, cuz I know this chick pretty good, and she's a little slvt anyway.

Then I thought about it, and realized that I disrespected him, so a little while later I went up and introduced myself, and told him that I didnt mean to disrespect him, and it wont happen again, and I thought she was single, and shook his hand for real. However, I didnt apologize, because I didnt know she was anyones 'girl', so I didnt KNOWINGLY do anything wrong. What I did, was own up to the fact that I disrespected him, and told him I wouldn't do it again.

Also, I sure as hell didnt apologize to her for grabbing her boobs. I only did it cuz she comes up and grabs my nipples sometimes, so thats fair game, in my book. I simply told her that she deserves it for wearing a shirt with rhinestones on her tits, and commented about how girls always flaunt their tits, but get pissed when guys look at them, and how stupid they are. This chick is cool, but she pisses me off, so I always try to make out with her, just to see if she'll do it. I think she thinks I like her, so its funny. She led me on when i first met her. I didnt know or care who she was, then she made the moves on me, and eventually, I reciprocated, and she backed off and ljbf'd me, and even though it means that I did something wrong, I hate chicks that do that, so I fvck with her a little, and am kind of a dyck, whenever I see her (but not TOO much). The thing is, she puts up with it, and likes me anyway, and buys me beers and stuff.

Does this make sense?

EDIT: and one more thing. Her anger towards you is a sign of emotion, which is always a good thing. I've turned chicks hating me into lays, on several occasions. Be an a$$hole until they call you out on it, then apologize, and be nice to them. It stirs their emotions up, and creates a lot of attraction. Like your other thread, hatred is not the opposite of love. Essentially, they are very similar emotions. You know how in movies, when the main characters hate each others guts, then all of a sudden they start making out, and fvck? That works in real life. Capitalize on it.

Chicks need their emotions stirred up!

If I were you, I'd make good with this chick right now, and, make a move immediately, while her emotions are still running hot.
do you think what i did was wrong, not just the avoiding part but being the desperate pestering loser who was disturbing her while she was trying to watch this film for work after telling me 20 times?

so you're saying the next time i see her, i should say hi, if she gives me the evil death stare of 'fvck off i dont want anything to do with u' then i should tell her straight out what i did wrong and then make a move as in kiss her?

can u englighten me on how i could make this sort of move or how to do it?

im likely to see her on campus walking in opposite direction, she'll look down on her phone pretending i dont exist to avoid talking to me (which is a pretty clear sign shes has absolutely zero interest in me now and is repuled by me) i should confront her. what should i say in what tone, should i be firm and say what i did wrong in a manly voice somewhat unapologetic then tell her no hard feelings then kiss her?

she probably will slap me.
 

horaholic

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I think your best bet is to have it out with her.

Get pissed right back at her and sternly tell her "Why dont you quit being such a snotty fvcking bytch." Then you can argue it out, (communication here is key) Then, make up, and apologize ONLY for the above harsh statement, and tell her you want to start fresh. You have to be a man about this for it to work.

Arguments lead to communication, which resolves issues, so start an argument with her. This will also stir up her emotions and possibly generate attraction. What you want is to have yourself in her mind all day and night, whether it is a positive, or negative thing. You want her thinking about you, and the best way to stand out in her mind is to do something drastic, like tell her she's a spoiled little bytch (whether its true or not.)

This is kind of a last ditch effort, but its better than the passive-aggressive avoidance of each other. That solves nothing.
 

drift king

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horaholic said:
I think your best bet is to have it out with her.

Get pissed right back at her and sternly tell her "Why dont you quit being such a snotty fvcking bytch." Then you can argue it out, (communication here is key) Then, make up, and apologize ONLY for the above harsh statement, and tell her you want to start fresh. You have to be a man about this for it to work.

Arguments lead to communication, which resolves issues, so start an argument with her. This will also stir up her emotions and possibly generate attraction. What you want is to have yourself in her mind all day and night, whether it is a positive, or negative thing. You want her thinking about you, and the best way to stand out in her mind is to do something drastic, like tell her she's a spoiled little bytch (whether its true or not.)

This is kind of a last ditch effort, but its better than the passive-aggressive avoidance of each other. That solves nothing.
how do i make up with her?

if i do what im going to do she'll freak out and start yelling, and storm off, how do i transition from p1ssing her off to making up with her (as in what do i say)?
 

"She's Out of Your League"

You've said it a hundred times. Maybe a thousand. And every time you say it, you train your brain to freeze the next time she walks into the room.

Leagues are a myth invented by guys who are scared of women.

She's a person. She has bad breath in the morning. She picks songs she can't sing in the shower. She overthinks her own texts.

Walk over. Say something. The league dissolves the second you open your mouth.

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drift king

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horaholic said:
I think your best bet is to have it out with her.

Get pissed right back at her and sternly tell her "Why dont you quit being such a snotty fvcking bytch." Then you can argue it out, (communication here is key) Then, make up, and apologize ONLY for the above harsh statement, and tell her you want to start fresh. You have to be a man about this for it to work.

Arguments lead to communication, which resolves issues, so start an argument with her. This will also stir up her emotions and possibly generate attraction. What you want is to have yourself in her mind all day and night, whether it is a positive, or negative thing. You want her thinking about you, and the best way to stand out in her mind is to do something drastic, like tell her she's a spoiled little bytch (whether its true or not.)

This is kind of a last ditch effort, but its better than the passive-aggressive avoidance of each other. That solves nothing.
i was all ready to have it out with her today and she was outside the cafe she usually studies with her friends eating as i walked by, i looked over, she turned her head to look at me, i think in response cos her friend looked at me which made her look round to see who it was, she looked at me with a half smile and waved somewhat curious to see my reaction. i responded with a half smile of my own (though it may have looked like a frown cos im not a smiley person) and waved also, then i carried on walking not breaking stride.

her friends looked round to see who it was so the spotlight was on me, i didnt anticipate this as i thought she'd carry on avoiding pretending she doesn't see me, do u think she did this just to save face in front of her female friends so she doesn't look like a b1tch?

im trying to not take this as a positive reaction as it could just be false hope, but seeing as i have kept my contact with her to minimum since the incident last tuesday, apart from friday when she gave me the evil stare when i said hello, i haven't contacted her at all. however she was on a date friday night, i saw her walking back with a guy to campus.

today she was really well dressed which makes me wonder if she has another date tonight, or something else.. there were no guys there when they were eating but im surprised about her amicable reaction, do u have any clues to why?

is it cos im not acting like a desperate loser and shes trying to gear my reaction and why im not all over her?

what would be my next move, i assume carrying on what im doing? cos im not taking today for granted, it could well be that tomorrow she starts avoiding me again, maybe to test my reaction to see if im affected, or just in general.

it would have been better had i looked a little more happy as i walked by cos i may have looked as if i was sad, cos i turned my head right and looked at her though i was wearing sunglasses then she made the first move to say hi before i did, mine was just in response to hers.

do u think theres nothing to it and shes just feeling guilty for behaving like a b1tch and still has no interest anyway and isn't going to do anything more than say hello?
 

drift king

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horaholic said:
I think your best bet is to have it out with her.

Get pissed right back at her and sternly tell her "Why dont you quit being such a snotty fvcking bytch." Then you can argue it out, (communication here is key) Then, make up, and apologize ONLY for the above harsh statement, and tell her you want to start fresh. You have to be a man about this for it to work.

Arguments lead to communication, which resolves issues, so start an argument with her. This will also stir up her emotions and possibly generate attraction. What you want is to have yourself in her mind all day and night, whether it is a positive, or negative thing. You want her thinking about you, and the best way to stand out in her mind is to do something drastic, like tell her she's a spoiled little bytch (whether its true or not.)

This is kind of a last ditch effort, but its better than the passive-aggressive avoidance of each other. That solves nothing.
if she begins to avod me again should i definitely have it out with her?

right now, shes being friendly again (maybe just in front of her friends) but if i see her out on a date with a guy i obviously must not look upset, should i smile and wave and walk on, look confident?

im really clueless what to do right now.
 
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