Is a man giving an "exit interview" to women who dumped him just a loser?

[MatureDJ]

http://gawker.com/5866258/the-outrageous-break+up-quiz-and-other-grim-tales-of-dating-finance-pros

I had dated this guy for a little over a year, works for one of the Big 4 - here are some excerpts from one of our many break-up exchanges. I'll let the email speak for itself, took out the more personal stuff. But yeah, this was pretty typical.

OK what I want to talk about is this, all of the following points must be resolved. This may take time by sheer logistics alone but because you have difficulty saying things why don't you answer the questions in writing first. You have to provide the written answers to me if you do so, I will not need to see them ahead of time but I reserve the right to read all of them. The longer you make your answers the better this will be, spend as much time as you need, if you can't get it done by tonight or it will take you a few days that's fine. Sometimes Yes/No answers are OK but make this thing as perfect as one of your college papers.

DO NOT PUT THIS OFF. If you wait you will hurt your chances of us being together. I'll give you a dead-line: Thurs evening, I know you work hard and are busy. I would hate if you take as long as Thursday evening

...

Why you were unhappy with us:
Are there things you do not like about me?
Are there things you do not like about us?
Are there things you don't like about yourself when it comes to us?

Name as many things as you can you would change about. Again, you must list everything that bothers you.
1. me
suggestions: I interrupt you, I need to enunciate when I speak
2. us
3. yourself

...

Where do you want to be in?
6 months
1 year
5 years
10 years
20 years
50 years / retirement age

...

In Exercise A, you must cover any topics you bring up for previous periods

Exercise A
- List the reasons you were unhappy November 2007 - present
suggestions: Financial reasons, Emotional reasons, Our relationship related stuff, professional stuff
- List any things that made you happy November 2007 - present

List the reasons you are unhappy now:

List the reasons you are happy now:
__________________________

For the Exercise B it might make sense to break it into three tiers(OST):
An example for me:
Objective I want to be in better shape
- why should I bother? I want to have better health, I want to have better sex, I want to be more sexually attractive to women, I want to look and feel better about myself, I will be better at everything else if my health is in order, I will meet people by doing outdoorsy stuff
Strategies: I want to improve my 1. cardiovascular capabilities 2. flexibility 3. muscles 4. I want to do outdoorsy stuff this summer
Tactics/Action Items:
1. a. ride a bike for fun & to work
b. go on hikes
c. do yoga everyday, do a yoga class once a week
d. join a gym?????
2. a. do yoga everyday, do a yoga class once a week
3. a. join a gym??????
b. do yoga everyday, do a yoga class once a week
4. a. Do outdoorsy stuff with friends
b. ride a bike
c. go to the beach
d. fear getting sunburned less
e. book vacations and 3-day weekends

Exersice B
List all of the specific things you will do to improve:
1. Your physical health
2. Your emotional health

Oh my!

 

[konmai]

:crackup:

depends. he could be alpha, if he was just sending it to be a wise-azz. but if he is really going to believe what she has to say... :kick:

 

[SoldMySoul]

I looked this over last evening and gave it a little thought and decided to come back to it this morning.

Is he a loser? Maybe, maybe NOT....
Was he an afc? Probably

This strategy could help him in the future AS WHAT NOT TO DO!! If the female responds with things that worsen his condition, then this probably is a huge mistake. Examples: She tells him you didn't say you love me enough; you didn't spend enough money on me....blah, blah

However, if the woman he had is fair and grades him where it could help, how could it be wrong? Seems to me the man was hurting and wanted answers. The point I am really trying to make is MOST of us have been there and during a period of being dumped by someone whom we loved/ thought a lot of have done some silly things.

 

[zekko]

The very thing that caused this woman to dump him could be the same thing that attracts the next one. All relationships are not the same.

Anyway, everyone always says don't believe anything a woman says, why start here?

 

[Greasy Pig]

Maybe he's just being a smart-arse and playing games but I just can't seem to get the stench of AFC out of my nostrils reading that email.
It's strange behaviour.

 

[Jitterbug]

Sounds like an aspie.

 

[JD57]

Maybe she dumped him because he's so effing anal, as per this email request.

I've asked women why they dumped/rejected me - I always do it when they do (AFC or not) and they rarely give a substantive answer. For the most part they just don't want the hassle.
With these detailed questions, this guy asked, why should she bother?