Is a little bit of nervousness okay?

[tsmith2334]

Just got finished talking to a very cute classmate of mine. We've known each other for a week or two now and I'd like to get to know her better.

I wanted to talk to her today, so I called her over (using the finger motion I read about on here) and just shot the breeze for a minute or two.

The conversation went well. I noticed good eye contact and multiple hair flicks from her. Only thing is I was a little nervous. Not visibly shaken, it just wasn't my most fearless approach ever.

My question: if a girl is attracted to you, would she like that and find it cute? I'm hoping there's a humbleness or charm to it that a girl might find flattering. I've heard women in the past say it's adorable, but I'm sure it could be a turn off as well.

Your thoughts...

 

[Randallpink83]

nervousness isn't really an attractive quality... yeah they might think its kind of cute... but does a girl really think of a "kinda cute" guy as the sexworthy dude thats gonna rip her clothes off and fvck her brains out - probably not.



...but thats why we are in the game... to get tons of social experiences that help us develop that core confidence and self esteem... keep putting yourself out there, keep pushing the comfort zone.

 

[tsmith2334]

nervousness isn't really an attractive quality... yeah they might think its kind of cute... but does a girl really think of a "kinda cute" guy as the sexworthy dude thats gonna rip her clothes off and fvck her brains out - probably not.

i agree completely. i just think if the girl is physically attracted to you and you seem a little nervous in a cute way she might dig it. just something i've heard in the past.

thanks for your feedback

 

[Groovy]

It's not bad at all. Focus on yourself!

Stress is bad, but it makes you feel "alive", awake, so to say!

Take advantage of that. You have control of your mental state, remind yourself of that, and change that nervousness to excitment.

Your voice will have a excited sound, a better sound, better then all of the other people around you, with their normal lame boring voices. (Half-a-joke).

 

[Igetit!]

nervousness isn't really an attractive quality... yeah they might think its kind of cute... but does a girl really think of a "kinda cute" guy as the sexworthy dude thats gonna rip her clothes off and fvck her brains out - probably not.



...but thats why we are in the game... to get tons of social experiences that help us develop that core confidence and self esteem... keep putting yourself out there, keep pushing the comfort zone.

I completely agree with Randallpink83. You said that you weren't visably shaken,so I guess that's ok. But you don't want her to know or see that you,just by simply being in her presence,are trembling with fear. Because if that happens,her ego will be inflated,but any attraction towards you will drop.

 

[(JJ)]

how you react to your nervousness is what's really important. people who redirect their anxiety into putting their best possible performance forward are those that are successful. the best example of this is the rookie baseball player that hits a homerun in his first at bat. of course, he's more nervous than he's ever been, but he takes that nervous energy, applies it to what he knows and has been doing for his whole life, and voila, he's a hero. this translates well to game. if you can take the nervousness, use the energy to make you grab your balls and make something happen, then that feeling is extremely beneficial. but if you let it overwhelm you, and you give in to it, then it is a massive hindrance. learn how to deal with it effectively and you'll be golden.

also, in my opinion, displaying your nervousness would do nothing but make you appear as an insecure person who isnt sure you deserve a girl like that.

 

[DonJuan11]

Just got finished talking to a very cute classmate of mine. We've known each other for a week or two now and I'd like to get to know her better.

I wanted to talk to her today, so I called her over (using the finger motion I read about on here) and just shot the breeze for a minute or two.

Whoa. I don't know where you read that, but the "finger motion" to come here means "I don't have enough confidence to approach you directly, so I will pretend you are my dog and signal you to come where I am because I am your MASTER."

My question: if a girl is attracted to you, would she like that and find it cute?

It's more she would understand it than find it cute. Sounds like you did OK.

 

[tsmith2334]

Whoa. I don't know where you read that, but the "finger motion" to come here means "I don't have enough confidence to approach you directly, so I will pretend you are my dog and signal you to come where I am because I am your MASTER."

That wasn't what I was nervous about. I was just a little nervous when I talked to her, not sure if I was visibly so but hinting at it maybe. It was in a cute, humble way I think, not in a "oh I have no hopes at approaching this girl" nervous way.

And here is where I got the finger point suggestion from, took me forever to find it on this site... but here it is...

One method that works for him is to simply reach over and pull her to him. I have never seen him get rejected this way.

The approach that we both agreed to be the best, is to motion for her to come over to you.

Doing this accomplishes several things.

First and foremost you are showing supreme confidence. Not too many guys have the balls to do this.

Secondly, you are showing dominance. We all know that women love dominant males.

Third of all, you are putting her on your turf. She is crossing the line moving away from her personal space and into yours. If she moves to you, she has shown submissive behaviour. From this point on you are in control.

Think about this for a minute. If you had walked over to her and asked her to dance, she has control. If you had approached her where she was standing, even if you weren't "asking" her to dance the ball is still in her court. But if she leaves her comfort zone to enter your territory, you are 100% in control. You have showed her that you aren't afraid to be in control and take what you want.

Of course there is a small chance that she won't "obey". So what? You have established that she's not interested. Move on.

This technique will only work when you are on top of your game. Your success rate will be proportionate to the amount of confidence you project. If she detects hesitation or weakness on your part failure is likely.

The "grab her hand and pull her to you" method will work best on a girl that you haven't necessarily made eye contact with. The "motion her to you" method will require getting her attention one way or another preferrably with a smile and eye contact.

Try this sometime. Done properly it should yeild a pretty good return.

 

[WaRpEd]

Man don't fret.

Thats just your mind doing what it does. After so much experience interacting with women won't matter anymore, it'll just be another thing you do just like breathing, going to the refigerator when you're hungry, or pouring a drink when you're thirsty.

Just practice.

 

[Luminescence]

Just got finished talking to a very cute classmate of mine. We've known each other for a week or two now and I'd like to get to know her better.

I wanted to talk to her today, so I called her over (using the finger motion I read about on here) and just shot the breeze for a minute or two.

The conversation went well. I noticed good eye contact and multiple hair flicks from her. Only thing is I was a little nervous. Not visibly shaken, it just wasn't my most fearless approach ever.

My question: if a girl is attracted to you, would she like that and find it cute? I'm hoping there's a humbleness or charm to it that a girl might find flattering. I've heard women in the past say it's adorable, but I'm sure it could be a turn off as well.

Your thoughts...

Yes she might find it 'cute' and result in her losing a little respect for you. Is it really the impression that you would like to give?

 

[tsmith2334]

Just for the record I was not a stumbling idiot. Just kind of shy I suppose. Talkative and friendly but at the same time reserved.

I feel like you guys are being a little hard on me, but I'll take it in stride. Thanks anyway.

Just keep in mind I probably was not as nervous as you might have thought... probably not even nervous to warrant making a thread about it.

 

[WaRpEd]

Lol get used to that on these forums.

First comes first, you said "if a girl is attracted to you, would she like that and find it cute?" If she is allready attracted to you, good job, it's hard to blow your chances (although not impossible). So yea, she might find it cute, hell it might be what attracted her to you. But I wouldn't overplay it.

Truth be told its hard to know what one person wants in comparison to what another person wants. And what a person will tell you they want isn't always what they really want.

One girl might find your slight nervousness cute, another might find it radically disgusting. Also they might find "it" cute on one guy but repulsive with you. Everything reacts differently in this world, you just have to guage it how you see it.

Just remember to keep your Don Juan James Bond Cassanova charm about you and remember that your just in it for the fun of it.

Don't be afraid to fail, when/if you do, don't be afraid to "next" her.

 

[tsmith2334]

Approached with super confidence today. No nervousness. She couldn't hold eye contact!