Is a father-daughter "purity dance" creepy?

[MatureDJ]

I was reading this, and it got me interested:

https://www.vice.com/en_us/article/neg958/growing-up-evangelical-ruined-sex-for-me

In the 1990s, evangelical teen girls were given a very confusing message: If you’re a virgin when you get married, you will have a much better sex life. Female chastity had always been an oppressive trope of Christianity, but in late 20th century America, a cottage industry of books, conventions, “purity rings” and creepy father-daughter dances emerged, celebrating the virtues of female abstinence—and the danger of female sexuality.

Known today as “purity culture,” it was a meticulously designed system of rules and mind-games aimed at curbing adolescent Christian libidos.

my opinion: So what human societies since the Dawn of Time had done - carefully control fertile female sexuality - is "creepy"?

 

[zekko]

People make fun of the idea of pushing female purity. But this is pretty similar to Desdinova's theory that you need to get a wife/LTR type while she's at a young age, because she will have trouble bonding with a man once she has ridden the c0ck carousel. So maybe it's not as ridiculous as it seems.

Of course, it's probably a waste of breath on today's modern scandalous wh0res.

 

[sosousage]

iwas hoping to see some creepy dance what a clickbait op

 

[AJ84]

This was big for a while I remember reading about it. The parents screen potential boyfriends/ husbands, so no players, plate spinners older men etc allowed to ‘enter’. The boys are supposed to stay pure too.

 

[Soflobro#3]

More feminist propoganda. Women with a high notch count are broken and unworthy of a relationship, liberals are trying to normalize women being whovres so that men don't judge them for it. That's all it is. Whats creepy is that women lie about it and try to pass themselves off as pure when they're not.

 

[R.U.G.]

I was reading this, and it got me interested:

https://www.vice.com/en_us/article/neg958/growing-up-evangelical-ruined-sex-for-me

my opinion: So what human societies since the Dawn of Time had done - carefully control fertile female sexuality - is "creepy"?

I think it's cute. It's useless, but cute. Once they turn into their teens, wearing whatever they call now as clothes, they'll be unfortunately head bobbing and ridding the pony in no time. Sad fact of today's youth.

 

[AJ84]

I doubt that the little rascals are though.

Guys brought up under "patriarchal" (for want of a better word) cultures are typically quite red pilled. They usually fvck around with women outside of that culture, and then settle with someone inside of it.

I don't have experience of your American bible belt, but I do have bit of experience with a different minority group. And believe you me, the women are on complete lockdown lol.

They even still have some arranged marriages. They fancied the idea on me. But the thing is that arranged marriages are more about the joining of families, than they are about the couple's happiness. And the last thing I'd want is to have to deal with some girl's family to an even bigger and more immersed degree than I saw my dad have to do when I was growing up.

It would be nice if we could find some sort of middle ground where personal liberty meets with properly functional society. Wouldn't it?

It would be nice yeah. And people seem to forget that the whole arranged marriage thing is not always a good deal on the man’s side, as you pointed out and I see that here in Toronto where my co-worker is being pressured to marry a woman he has no interest in what so ever.

In my post I’m referring to Christian evangelical type families in Canada and the US. They do have the guys on lock down too. They frown on guys jerking off even. It’s crazy. Computers use is monitored. Chaperones on dates.

Think of that show about the Duggar family, groups like that.

You’re part Roma right? I’m not too familiar with that culture aside from a family that was featured on a reality show about arranged marriages. The couple was 18 or 19 I think, somewhere in the US. The parents were awesome I thought they should of had their own show.

How do you deal with the family pressure to get married? My brother gets it from our mother from time to time.

 

[wifehunter]

"Creepy" is the prison these people live in.

Rules and regulations are the antithesis of love.

 

[Alvafe]

I doubt that the little rascals are though.

Guys brought up under "patriarchal" (for want of a better word) cultures are typically quite red pilled. They usually fvck around with women outside of that culture, and then settle with someone inside of it.

I don't have experience of your American bible belt, but I do have bit of experience with a different minority group. And believe you me, the women are on complete lockdown lol.

They even still have some arranged marriages. They fancied the idea on me. But the thing is that arranged marriages are more about the joining of families, than they are about the couple's happiness. And the last thing I'd want is to have to deal with some girl's family to an even bigger and more immersed degree than I saw my dad have to do when I was growing up.

It would be nice if we could find some sort of middle ground where personal liberty meets with properly functional society. Wouldn't it?

that was before, now the boys are kida tame on that regard, hell nowadays is more likely you find a dude virgin then a girl

and like @AJ84 is saying every evangelical group do this, hell I did heart that from a ex-evangelical, waht she had to deal with, funny is even after she "leave" that behind a lot of things she want are still rooted on it., hell in some stances, the boy and girl can only get close for around 6 months only talking and then decide if both will want to marry at maximum of the next 6 months

"Creepy" is the prison these people live in.

Rules and regulations are the antithesis of love.

and love is conditional, at least some rules are necessary

 

[wifehunter]

that was before, now the boys are kida tame on that regard, hell nowadays is more likely you find a dude virgin then a girl

and like @AJ84 is saying every evangelical group do this, hell I did heart that from a ex-evangelical, waht she had to deal with, funny is even after she "leave" that behind a lot of things she want are still rooted on it., hell in some stances, the boy and girl can only get close for around 6 months only talking and then decide if both will want to marry at maximum of the next 6 months



and love is conditional, at least some rules are necessary

the only rule IS love.

 

[Alvafe]

the only rule IS love.

then define love

 

[wifehunter]

then define love

God is love.

 

[Alvafe]

God is love.

yeah I see lots of love, cancer, dead, telling people to kill they kids, tell they love everyone but you will burn if you don't

 

[wifehunter]

yeah I see lots of love, cancer, dead, telling people to kill they kids, tell they love everyone but you will burn if you don't

Reality is beyond most people...most live in 'ice cream and unicons' land.

 

[Bible_Belt]

I don't have experience of your American bible belt

I do get around

 

[BeExcellent]

We met, and my case the girl seemed fine. Her mother though was an overbearing annoyance and very controlling over her daughter.



That would be laughed at among my lot. The boys are generally free to go off doing what they want, more freedom than in anywhere in that sense, as long as it doesn't have comebacks on their parents.



Never heard of this duggan family. If it's recent american reality tv, i'm well out the loop.




I've always avoided the situation. From when i was 14, i would avoid bringing girls home, and just go to their place or accross the fields or something.

When i was 18, i was out most nights.

So i just avoided that from having an influence on my formative social/sexual years.

Which is what i tell to try @BeExcellent , that if you stifle kids, and you think your little cherub can't do no wrong, you'll be in for a bloody rude awakening, woman.

These days, i have very firm boundaries with them, and things are good.

I strongly believe that transparency is best while raising young people. It is also good to present information to educate young people so they have tools to navigate situations. That has always been my philosophy as a parent...especially having had the experience & life path that Ive had. The same is true of their father.

Being the imperialistic sayer of "No" is utterly counter productive. People tend to desire what is opaque and forbidden...but often parents are major contributors to the problem because they are too uncomfortable discussing things like sex, drugs, alcohol, etc. with their children.

I have teens at home. My son is dating & driving. My older daughter knows of girls in her grade (8th) who are already sexually active & getting passed around amongst the boys for that purpose. They both see the consequences of poor choices manifesting in their peers. My daughter in particular is disgusted by it...but the thing is her father & I are both open to conversations about stuff like this. We are both unafraid to discuss these things frankly and regularly.

My philosophy is to help my kids understand that it is best to avoid mistakes you cannot recover from, especially those with lifelong consequences.

Examples:

1. Teen pregnancy
1a. Promiscuity
2. Sexually transmitted diseases that are incurable
3. Adverse consequences of actions while under the influence of an intoxicant
4. Adverse consequences of associating with the wrong people (bad influences)
5. Adverse consequences of emotional thinking (anger/passion, etc.)
6. Self destructive behaviors

All I can do is be transparent & have a willingness to chat about things such as the above. I am well aware that I am not going to be present when circumstances favorable for sex, drugs, impulsive behavior and the like arise in the lives of my children.

My job is to educate them and prepare them to make good choices WHEN confronted with situations in life. It's not a question of IF those situations arise...it's a question of how they handle it in the moment.

I always tell my son "Wrap it up". I always tell him not to get in a vehicle where the driver is under the influence...and he rolls his eyes at me he hears it so much.

My teen daughter jokes that she plans to be an eccentric virgin cat lady. She tells me she is never having sex...of course I know different...and I've told her that the day will come when she thinks differently. My job is to prepare her for that day & those choices. I'm the furthest thing from a cat lady so I think this is her way of making me squirm. Touché. But the conversations are occurring and that's the important thing.

My kids see their father & I participating in nightlife and dating and so forth. They know we are well versed in social dynamics.

And they know they can come to either or both of us on these matters. And they do...so far.