"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"

You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.

And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.

Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.

The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.

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Is a big step towards happiness..

st_99

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not to expect anything from anybody?

And thus there is little room for disappointment, and so its all upside and positive surprises?

That is not to say you shouldn't have standards you live by (like you wont
make a slut your wife for example).

I think I've made my life more difficult than it needs to be by expecting
too much from people at times, like they should behave a certain way, or
do this or that for me, etc.. but too many of us are flawed in so many ways (myself included) this makes for constantly swimming up stream in life, so to speak.

It can be on the simplest level, like if you were having a party and invited
a friend who didn't show up you might be disappointed and feel sad or mad
about it.

If you live by the 'don't expect anything from anybody' slant, you may be
less likely to even care much and say "dude, that's ok maybe next time" and
so your life can only be enriched with the second way of reacting.

Is this a realistic way of thinking?
 

"So, What Do You Do for Fun?"

She asks it casually, mid-sip. And you feel the floor open up, because the honest answer is work, gym, and a couple shows you're half-watching.

Women rarely say this out loud, but a man with a life is attractive before he says a word. The guy who spent Saturday deep-sea fishing and came back with photos and a story — he walks in already interesting.

The "22 Rules" pushed me to build a life worth talking about. Turns out the fastest way to be interesting to women is to be interested in your own life first.

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Demonpenz

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A big part of my happiness was just being the best at what you can do and be fine with the result. You always get what you need, not always what you want. That doesn't mean be fat or anything, it means try to do your best, but if **** doesn't go your way don't get bent out of shape, you tried to keep your side of the street clear
 

Boilermaker

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Reducing expectations is a good way of attaining happiness, although it's easier said than done.

I usually hear myself state it; but I don't know how close I am getting in implementing it.
 

runner83

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Yes...if it applies to random people.

I think it all comes down to worrying about the things that you can control.

But like you said, I don't think you should apply it to yourself or others close to you.

You should always strive to meet your own goals (this is within your control).

And if someone close to you is not acting to your standards (e.g. disrespecting you), then turning a blind eye to that is not the way to happiness.

Sure, one or two times are forgivable, but if they continue to do it, you should asking yourself why they are in your life.
 

"You'll Never Feel READY to Walk Over"

Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.

You've been "getting ready" for two years.

She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.

Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.

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