"She Liked You in March. It's October Now."

Attraction runs on a clock.

She flirted for weeks. Touched your arm. Found reasons to be alone with you. And you were careful. Respectful. Waiting for the right moment.

The moment had a shelf life. It expired around month two, and by the time you asked her out, she'd quietly filed you under "little brother."

One of the hardest lessons inside the 22 Rules: women rarely wait. Interest either grows or it decays, and nothing decays it faster than a man who never moves.

Make the move while she's still inventing reasons to be near you.

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Iron Rules of Tomassi

Latinoman

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STR8UP said:
Scientific studies have shown that a person's status has an effect on other people perception of their height.

I'm 5'8", but I have social status. Would it make sense for me to walk around making fun of the fact that I'm not 6' tall?

You just start dating a new chick. You think your ears are too big. She finds you attractive. You would be INSULTING her by making fun of your own appearance.

There are many other ways to display confidence that won't serve to knock you down or insult another person.
Exactly.
 

"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

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MacAvoy

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Sure you may create attraction by making fun of yourself but there are so many other things in this world that you can make a person laugh with, why would you want to mess w/ the possibility of overdoing it and bring down your social worth in someone elses eyes?
 

afrojiggles

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gd to know ur man enuf to back them down,lol
 

princelydeeds

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Bible_Belt said:
This site sucks a little more every time you post. You just advocated #1: women screening men and #2 celibacy as some sort of virtue. It's like you're on a web site for the Republican Party telling people to vote for Hillary. Your values obviously run contrary to this web site, which means you have no place here. Please just go away.
:crackup: :crackup: :crackup: :rock: :woo: :cheer: :crackup: :crackup: :crackup:

too funny, too true!!!

in 4000+ posts all she has ever said was, "not all women........"
 

piranha45

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Yes, the administration claims to not support trolls but they keep this one around for some reason. Granted the last she-troll I recall, wyldfyre, posted for an inexcusably long time before she was finally purged. So we may have to wait more years yet...
 

"I'm Not Looking for Anything Serious Right Now"

When a woman says it, guys hear a confession. A heads-up. A scheduling conflict.

Here's the translation: I don't feel anything. Right now. With you.

Watch what happens when a man triggers actual attraction. The busy career, the recent breakup, the "not in a place to date" — all of it evaporates instantly. The same woman who was guarding her freedom is suddenly free every night.

The "22 Rules" explain why. When the right switches flip, her timeline rearranges itself around you.

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princelydeeds

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Señor Fingers said:
Personally, I think its okay to crack on yourself, as long as its something you are confident and comfortable with. A lot of people self-deprecate as a backhanded way of fishing for compliments and that my friends, is weak.

It's not so much what you say as the intent behind it.
I agree, it is all in the way you say it. I am by no means tall (5'6") but I walk around at 180+lbs of mostly muscle (I am currently training to fight MMA). I do not have a problem with being ****y, in fact I can be far too ****y. Sometimes, I poke fun at my height and it balances my ****y side. Women like jerks (I am good at being a jerk), but I find you must also show a human side particularly when you plan on keeping her in your life.

One dating issue I deal with is that many women think, "he is too good to be true." Please believe I say that without arrogance, an ability to make a good natured (read: not week minded/fishing for compliments) joke about myself makes me seem a little more human. When a woman sees me as "larger than life" or "too good to be true" as soon as I let my guard down and do something that proves I am human, that mistake is amplified because she had me on such a high pedestal. An occasional crack on myself, done in the right manner, doesn't hurt me. In fact, it can help lower the fall from such a high pedestal.
 

SXS

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I have a rule for myself that I have recently adopted. When you make mistake, fvck up, or pull a d!ck move, apologize ONCE and then move on.
I have another rule that in those situations is never apologize and make it look like it is someone else fault entirely. Of course i never had to use tthat rule because I never made a istake in my life anyway...

Tommasi's post was good and I do agree with the rule of not moving into a gf's home within 6 months or less. To me, it's unwise and destroys your ability to have some common ground to make a stand for yourself. That's actually giving her more power to do whatever she wishes.
I had a girl who lived with me for sometime. As long as they move in WITH you and it remain YOUR house, youdont have anything to worry. When it was over she just moved away and I had no problem at all.
 

squirrels

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iqqi said:
But many mature women are withholding because they don't want to ruin anything. They don't want their already unexplainable emotions getting even cloudier. They really want to get to know you and establish a deep connection, so that the sex will be meaningful and intense, not some "pleasureable activity" that means nothing.
If they are REALLY that out-of-control of their emotions, would they REALLY make good long-term partners?

If she can't control her emotions now, how long down the relationship-road before those same out-of-control emotions cause trouble for the relationship??

It's one thing if the woman just does not enjoy sex without love. In that case, if she is MATURE, she will be looking for a man who also does not enjoy sex without love...not trying to use a man's sexual desires to leverage him into a "love" situation. You don't force "love" on someone...it's either there or it isn't. If a man is really after sex and is forced into a love situation to get it, he'll only stay there as long as he needs to.

You're missing the point. The rule does not apply to women who "don't enjoy sex without love", but to women who DO enjoy sex, but withhold it to try to force a commitment. What you have here is the typical female scatterbrain effect, where the woman wants one thing and is convincing herself she wants something else...and that only leads to trouble.
 

SXS

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azanon said:
So are you saying it's an oxymoron for a woman to be an intelligent, or successful hor? To not get into an unnecessarily lengthy discussion, let me be brief and simply say this is possible.

Remind me; are you divorced? I can't remember, but going on your viewpoints, you'd be a high candidate to be a divorced man. Your preferences are yours, and no one elses. If you prefer a hor even for a LTR, who am I to say you can't prefer them?
If his criteria for calling again is that she put out on the third date, why would he even be married ? Why would even have a LTR, if a girl is giving everything for free ?
 

azanon

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SXS said:
If his criteria for calling again is that she put out on the third date, why would he even be married ? Why would even have a LTR, if a girl is giving everything for free ?
Guess you didn't notice this was a bumped thread. I typed that in 2/08.
 

"How I Made Sure No Woman Ever Friend-Zoned Me Again"

She calls you when her car breaks down. When she needs help moving. When some guy she's actually dating treats her badly.

You're the listener. The reliable one. The guy who would treat her so much better, if she'd just open her eyes.

She won't. You trained her to see you as the low-effort option — the friend who requires zero risk and zero investment. Every favor dug the hole deeper.

The "22 Rules" break the pattern. You'll stop auditioning for a role she already cast and become the man she chases instead. It starts with Rule 1.

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SXS

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I know, I was reading old topics and then I decided to comment on this one.
 

piranha45

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I imagine we'll have to buy his unreleased book in order to find out :p
 

Blue Phoenix

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What´s the name of the book anyway???
 

Blue Phoenix

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Iron Rule of Tomassi #7

It is always time and effort better spent developing new, fresh, prospective women than it will ever be in attempting to reconstruct a failed relationship. Never root through the trash once the garbage has been dragged to the curb. You get messy, your neighbors see you do it, and what you thought was worth digging for is never what you thought it was.
 

Blue Phoenix

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Beware

Iron Rule of Tomassi #22 (*lol, actually it doesn´t exist)

"You can’t bargain with someone to treat you well. Being treated with kindness, common decency, consideration, respect and acceptance should be a prerequisite for an intimate relationship; not something you’re rewarded with for meeting one of her unreasonable demands or if she’s trying to manipulate you into doing or buying something for her. Either she’s capable of a reciprocal relationship or she’s not. It doesn’t matter what you do or how nice, patient and understanding you are with her. She is what she is. You can’t appease a bully or persuade them to be nice to you. If you do, she’ll see you as weak and bulldoze you all the more."
 

"So, What Do You Do for Fun?"

She asks it casually, mid-sip. And you feel the floor open up, because the honest answer is work, gym, and a couple shows you're half-watching.

Women rarely say this out loud, but a man with a life is attractive before he says a word. The guy who spent Saturday deep-sea fishing and came back with photos and a story — he walks in already interesting.

The "22 Rules" pushed me to build a life worth talking about. Turns out the fastest way to be interesting to women is to be interested in your own life first.

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zekko

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I completely disagree with rule #4 by the way. I live with my girlfriend (seven years now) and the arrangement could not be better. Perhaps I am just the exception that proves the rule. I see it as an alternative to marriage where you can cohabitate without risking half your assets (you have to live in a state without common law marriage of course).

I agree you should not buy or lease a house with a girlfriend. We live in my house. I actually think this is helpful toward my keeping the frame.

You should not just casually move in with any girl that catches your fancy though, you have to be sure you qualify her well. She has to be the right girl and LTR material.
 

Kailex

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zekko said:
I completely disagree with rule #4 by the way. I live with my girlfriend (seven years now) and the arrangement could not be better. Perhaps I am just the exception that proves the rule. I see it as an alternative to marriage where you can cohabitate without risking half your assets (you have to live in a state without common law marriage of course).

I agree you should not buy or lease a house with a girlfriend. We live in my house. I actually think this is helpful toward my keeping the frame.

You should not just casually move in with any girl that catches your fancy though, you have to be sure you qualify her well. She has to be the right girl and LTR material.
Zeek, you are most likely the exception and I think it mostly has to do with your age. And don't think for a second I'm putting you down for being older, but I think at age 49 you already should have a typically better judgment on relationship situations than someone at 21.

You are at a point of your life where you can better discern what is best for you in the long term, while for someone who is more geared towards posting in the Don Juan Discussion forum is a lot more likely to mess up by moving in too soon.

And the last part of your post pretty much shows the difference between you and most men with a lack of better judgment. Most guys will jump at the chance of moving in because it'll "secure the relationship" without even realizing the true consequences of that move.

I WAS there myself, and not even at age 21, but age 26 and I made the "mistake". Now that I'm almost 30, I would know how to go about it the correct way.
 
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