"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"

You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.

For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.

Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.

The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.

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IOIs left and Right from Colleague

Masculinity

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Interesting situation

Long story short, there's a woman I find a attractive who also happens to be my colleague (volunteers for the same organization). She is also in the same honors program I am in at school. I am not sure if I am reading the signs too closely or if she's actually sending messages, so I wanted to ask you all for your opinion.

Lately, she:
-Initiates conversations often (about ANYTHING)
-Automatically assumes higher intellectual value in me
-Asks questions to which she should know the answers, by the very virtue of her position as a colleague and honors student
-Smiles often
-Feels comfortable in my proximity
-Asks me for leadership

Quick reference: I was looking at a document in her computer the other day. I asked her a question about it, and she immediately came over and came VERY close to me and my face. In addition, I had my hand on the mousepad of her computer and she began using the trackpad obviously touching my hand in the process.

THE GOOD: She may end her connection to the institution in two months, so we would not have the labor wall between us (I don't like dating women in these situations) and I can do whatever with her.

THE BAD: Any involvement with her, if it hit the fan, would be a negative impact to my reputation. However, she's seems hot for me now, so I don't want to send signs of DISINTEREST. I gave her a compliment today about her earrings and she was all smiles.

To wrap it up, she JUST saw me talking to another woman outside. What did she do? "Pssst! Hi, Masculinity ;)" and waved at me. Got to love women and their competitive instincts!

If this situation were outside of the field of work, I would easily pursue this woman. However, this is the first time this happens to me at. What do you guys think?
 
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"Stop Asking Your Friends What to Text Her"

Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."

You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.

She's been waiting forty minutes.

Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.

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Masculinity

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No responses--really...?
 

YAboi

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I think you should live up to your username by telling her to come chill at your place or a cafe and then conversate on some light fluff topics for 30 minutes then, pull her close and peck her cheek. You will know what to do from then on.....The key is not the moves you make. The key is being willing to make moves in the 1st place and not caring excessively about the end result of those moves but using them as experience gained for next time.
 

LMFAO

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Go with her for coffee at lunch time and use some moves there. If all goes well you'll be doing that on a more frequent basis and f*cking her within the next couple of weeks. Good luck.
 

Bingo-Player

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what do you want us to say :confused:

go ask her out already

less thinking more doing !
 

"Nervous Around Beautiful Women? There's a Rule for That"

I could talk to any woman I wasn't attracted to. Charming, funny, relaxed. Then a gorgeous woman looked my way and I'd become a sweating, babbling mess.

The fix took me years to find and ten minutes to learn. Nervousness and excitement are the same physical state — pounding heart, adrenaline, flushed face. Your brain just picks the label. And you can pick a better one.

Rule 16 shows you how. You feel the nerves, relabel them as excitement, and let that energy pour out as enthusiasm. Women notice the guy radiating it. They always do.

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Masculinity

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Branch swinger?
 

Masculinity

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I was wrong, guys! I asked her out and apparently she was just being super friendly because SES comfortable, but she isn't interested in me. NEXT! ;)
 

jnMissouri

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Masculinity said:
Long story short, there's a woman I find a attractive who also happens to be my colleague (volunteers for the same organization). She is also in the same honors program I am in at school. I am not sure if I am reading the signs too closely or if she's actually sending messages, so I wanted to ask you all for your opinion.

Lately, she:
-Initiates conversations often (about ANYTHING)
-Automatically assumes higher intellectual value in me
-Asks questions to which she should know the answers, by the very virtue of her position as a colleague and honors student
-Smiles often
-Feels comfortable in my proximity
-Asks me for leadership

Quick reference: I was looking at a document in her computer the other day. I asked her a question about it, and she immediately came over and came VERY close to me and my face. In addition, I had my hand on the mousepad of her computer and she began using the trackpad obviously touching my hand in the process.

THE GOOD: She may end her connection to the institution in two months, so we would not have the labor wall between us (I don't like dating women in these situations) and I can do whatever with her.

THE BAD: Any involvement with her, if it hit the fan, would be a negative impact to my reputation. However, she's seems hot for me now, so I don't want to send signs of DISINTEREST. I gave her a compliment today about her earrings and she was all smiles.

To wrap it up, she JUST saw me talking to another woman outside. What did she do? "Pssst! Hi, Masculinity ;)" and waved at me. Got to love women and their competitive instincts!

If this situation were outside of the field of work, I would easily pursue this woman. However, this is the first time this happens to me at. What do you guys think?

I don't see any actual IOI's, she is not nervous around you, she is not asking you questions about you, she is not really flirting. You are reading too much into a girl that is purely friendly. That is all. I don't think she was trying to compete when she saw you talking to another girl, I think she was trying to help you out by making it look to her like you have other prospects. This girl only thinks of you as a colleague/friend. Use her as a wing man though, she seems game for that. Social proof is always good.
 

nismo-4

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Masculinity said:
I was wrong, guys! I asked her out and apparently she was just being super friendly because SES comfortable, but she isn't interested in me. NEXT! ;)
Ok, she NEXTED you first. Why? because she only sees you as a friend or colleague. In other words, in a nonsexual manner.

Perhaps you waited too long to make a move. Shoot first, ask questions later. You'll get more respect by showing your sexual side than starting off as a boring nice guy.

Alas, IOIs don't mean sh*t. There are only two.

1. She says yes to your date etc. and her actions back it up as such.
2. She has sex with you.

Judge nismo's ruling.

Case closed. Stop overanalyzing.
 

"So, What Do You Do for Fun?"

She asks it casually, mid-sip. And you feel the floor open up, because the honest answer is work, gym, and a couple shows you're half-watching.

Women rarely say this out loud, but a man with a life is attractive before he says a word. The guy who spent Saturday deep-sea fishing and came back with photos and a story — he walks in already interesting.

The "22 Rules" pushed me to build a life worth talking about. Turns out the fastest way to be interesting to women is to be interested in your own life first.

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Masculinity

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jnMissouri said:
I don't see any actual IOI's, she is not nervous around you, she is not asking you questions about you, she is not really flirting. You are reading too much into a girl that is purely friendly. That is all. I don't think she was trying to compete when she saw you talking to another girl, I think she was trying to help you out by making it look to her like you have other prospects. This girl only thinks of you as a colleague/friend. Use her as a wing man though, she seems game for that. Social proof is always good.
It's important to remember that we are not biased into thinking we knew the outcome beforehand because, well, the outcome is now known. We all make mistakes, though. Life goes on!

GettinMyMindRight said:
Details? Why is she not interested?

You da man, though.
I'm not sure why she isn't interested. What encourages me is that it was not something that was lacking on my end.


nismo-4 said:
Ok, she NEXTED you first. Why? because she only sees you as a friend or colleague. In other words, in a nonsexual manner.

Perhaps you waited too long to make a move. Shoot first, ask questions later. You'll get more respect by showing your sexual side than starting off as a boring nice guy.

Alas, IOIs don't mean sh*t. There are only two.

1. She says yes to your date etc. and her actions back it up as such.
2. She has sex with you.

Judge nismo's ruling.

Case closed. Stop overanalyzing.
I agree. Sex and yes to dates are the ultimate IOIs
 
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