Introverted guy in a foreign country

[user252009]

Hi guys,

I'm a guy living in a foreign country, where I speak some of the language, but not well enough to be comfortable to go out and meet new people by myself. Even if I could, I am a kind of person that wouldn't do this by myself, out of nothing. I'm of course trying to do the online dating thing without much success. My looks are average I'd say, and I do have somewhat of an interesting life, it's just that women don't engage me. And like I said, I'm not a kind of person to go out and start talking to random people, and therefore I don't really have friends here either. Any tips on meeting new women for a guy like me?

 

[Shrubber101]

Don't worry about women for the moment. You need to get some men friends. Get into a social circle and everything else will follow.

 

[user252009]

Don't worry about women for the moment. You need to get some men friends. Get into a social circle and everything else will follow.

Really hard in the country I'm in, people are closed and distant, and so are majority of social circles.

 

[Shrubber101]

Which country?

 

[user252009]

Which country?

Does it matter? Western Europe

 

[user252009]

Yes it matters. Big difference between Saudi Arabia and Germany bro

OK, but how does it further this discussion?

 

[corrector]

Don't worry about women for the moment. You need to get some men friends. Get into a social circle and everything else will follow.

So he has to become gay first?

 

[Shrubber101]

OK, but how does it further this discussion?

Becouse every country has its own character. For example the Brits are known to have a self efacing sense of humour so we dont like people that take themselves seriously.
The Polish are known not to smile much and sound quite abrubt when talking and very formal in some situations.
You may be misconstruing people becouse of the cultural differences and just think they're stand offish compared to where you come from.
If your a yank then you'll find most Europeans are stand offish compared to what you're used to.

 

[Visionist]

An Italian student of mine was in Spain and Portugal before being married. He's absolutely nothing special to look at, but he says he got laid all the time, often with tourist girls and also with random girls in general. He says he simply went for whatever he liked and never had a problem getting what he wanted.

 

[user252009]

OK, but can we get back on the topic? Even when I lived in another city back home, I had the same issues; but here, they’re just more apparent as I don’t speak the language natively.

 

[Suave88]

Hi guys,

I'm a guy living in a foreign country, where I speak some of the language, but not well enough to be comfortable to go out and meet new people by myself. Even if I could, I am a kind of person that wouldn't do this by myself, out of nothing. I'm of course trying to do the online dating thing without much success. My looks are average I'd say, and I do have somewhat of an interesting life, it's just that women don't engage me. And like I said, I'm not a kind of person to go out and start talking to random people, and therefore I don't really have friends here either. Any tips on meeting new women for a guy like me?

You don't need no fvcking male friends..... The first bytch approaches you and asks where are you from??? You know it is on.......
Where are you in Western Europe????
Just learn the language. A girl who likes you will understand your limitations and will work around to have you fvck her.

 

[user252009]

You don't need no fvcking male friends..... The first bytch approaches you and asks where are you from??? You know it is on.......
Where are you in Western Europe????
Just learn the language. A girl who likes you will understand your limitations and will work around to have you fvck her.

They never approach me first

 

[Suave88]

They never approach me first

What country are you at? And what are you doing there? Exchange student, military service, work????

 

[gravityeyelids]

See if you can find a wing online. I think that RSD had some FB group or Google Doc to help people find wings in different countries.

It's actually easier than you might think to find guy friends. Just make a habit of going out and being social, start chatting with a dude and say "hey wanna go talk to some girls?" Most guys that you'd want to hang out with will like it, and you can meet up when going out. The real strength of a wing is just having someone there for support. I mean approaches are more or less an independent thing. You pretty much fly solo when opening a group, but introverted people tend to be "off" when going out alone and having someone there to talk with or help you not get inside your head can really help.

 

[user252009]

What country are you at? And what are you doing there? Exchange student, military service, work????

Work

 

[user252009]

It's actually easier than you might think to find guy friends. Just make a habit of going out and being social, start chatting with a dude and say "hey wanna go talk to some girls?" Most guys that you'd want to hang out with will like it, and you can meet up when going out. The real strength of a wing is just having someone there for support. I mean approaches are more or less an independent thing. You pretty much fly solo when opening a group, but introverted people tend to be "off" when going out alone and having someone there to talk with or help you not get inside your head can really help.

You're missing the point - I don't WANT to go out and talk to random people, it's not in my nature. I CAN talk to them, but I never self willingly go out by myself and strike up conversations, also because of the language barrier.

 

[Shrubber101]

You're missing the point - I don't WANT to go out and talk to random people, it's not in my nature. I CAN talk to them, but I never self willingly go out by myself and strike up conversations, also because of the language barrier.

Like you, I'd rather eat glass than try and strike up a convo with random strangers. Luckily we have the Internet. See if there's local meet up groups with a common interest in your area. If you have a group of natives that you share an interest in, people will be more welcoming despite the language barrier and will be only too happy to help you learn the language as a bonus.

Advertise on FB or some other platform for a local guide/buddy to show you around and become familiar with the customs etc.
This wouldn't be a ploy to get women but to get you started with a social network which will give you access to women.

Also depending on your nationality and race, women might be a bit more wary of you on OLD becouse you're a foreigner.

 

[user252009]

Like you, I'd rather eat glass than try and strike up a convo with random strangers. Luckily we have the Internet. See if there's local meet up groups with a common interest in your area. If you have a group of natives that you share an interest in, people will be more welcoming despite the language barrier and will be only too happy to help you learn the language as a bonus.

Advertise on FB or some other platform for a local guide/buddy to show you around and become familiar with the customs etc.
This wouldn't be a ploy to get women but to get you started with a social network which will give you access to women.

Also depending on your nationality and race, women might be a bit more wary of you on OLD becouse you're a foreigner.

I went to a few MeetUp events when I first came here, but the chats there were superficial as I had nothing in common with people (I have specific interests), so I stopped going, as those chats never became anything more. Luckily I live in an area where bigger cities are nearby, although when I go there, I go alone and for my own interests.

 

[Suave88]

Work

And does everyone at work speaks the national language???? See if some workers head out to hang out in local pubs at night... Use public transportation. You have to blend with the nationals.

 

[user252009]

And does everyone at work speaks the national language???? See if some workers head out to hang out in local pubs at night... Use public transportation. You have to blend with the nationals.

Why are you using so many question marks? I don't hang out with coworkers after work - don't have anything in common with them, and most of them have families anyways. I'm trying to date here, not hang out and waste time with coworkers - I'm way too busy with my purpose for that.