Introvert

[hithard]

I read somewhere (halfass read) that an Introvert is not necessarily shy by definition. He can be the life of the party or the most vocal guy in the room. However he needs to recharge his energies by being alone and doing his own thing. Social situations do drain your energy, but it doesnt mean you don't enjoy it.
Extrovert can do his own thing but recharges by being social.

I think there is a danger when classing yourself as an Introvert in the classical sense of shy / lone wolf type. In that you place limits on yourself and make excuses for not socializing. F.ucking your mental game with preconceived ideas of "its ok I'm an introvert" in social situations can set you back years in progress. The quicker you lose all the excuses and fears, the quicker you get ahead.
Introvert is not a life sentence to bad social game. Just know when to cycle 'you' time and socializing.

 

[J. Darko]

I think there is a danger when people read psychologial theories, understand half of it, then post a quarter of it on a forum as ''advice'', for mature men for crying out loud.

 

[Lateralus]

I'm an introvert myself and kind of shy in some situations. I love to spend time alone. Socializing makes me feel good, but it drains energy. I think this is a difference between extroverts and introverts, because extroverts actually get their energy from socializing.

But when I spend time alone and my battery is charged, I love to spend the energy by talking/doing stuff with others! And when I feel comfortable in a certain situation (with my friends for example, or with people I like), I can certainly be the center of attention. Many people like me for what I am when I have a converation with them: bright, sensible, deep.

Many (extrovert) people also are intimidated by me in a discussion, which I only enter when I know something about the subject. In contradiction to their ignorant arguments, lack of knowledge, screaming, they are suprised when an introvert like me seems to have much better knowledge about the subject.

Nothing wrong with being introvert IMHO... Introverts like (fictional character) Michael Corleone make a powerful impression, don't they?

 

[zekko]

I read somewhere (halfass read) that an Introvert is not necessarily shy by definition. He can be the life of the party or the most vocal guy in the room. However he needs to recharge his energies by being alone and doing his own thing. Social situations do drain your energy, but it doesnt mean you don't enjoy it.
Extrovert can do his own thing but recharges by being social.

Yes, that's right. I'm an introvert, but I'm not shy at all. I used to be when I was a kid, but I forced myself to grow out of it. I even do some public speaking.

But you're right about people draining energy. Basically when I reach the point where I've had my fill of socializing, I start to find people very, very annoying and irritating, almost intolerable. At that point, I need to find some solitude to recharge my batteries. My LTR does not drain me, however.

I think there is a danger when classing yourself as an Introvert in the classical sense of shy / lone wolf type. In that you place limits on yourself and make excuses for not socializing

I agree that you can use it as an excuse. But for me, it's just the truth, there's no use in denying it. At least I know why I get to that point where I can't stand to be around people any longer. I need to recharge.
Socializing is important, and I enjoy it, but it's not something that I want to be doing all the time.

 

[Mike32ct]

Being an introvert is more a preference for solitude at times, not necessarily that you are shy or have social anxiety.

I used to be very shy and social anxious. Now, I can socialize quite well. I enjoy it, but go back to my solitude when I've had my fill of it.

 

[hithard]

Ok sorry I'll expand a bit; I have a habit of rushing posts due to being time poor.

I see a lot of guys that come to these boards and others and the first line of thread usually contains something about being an introvert. My worry is that they label themselves and lay off the social game. Or that their definition of introvert is a loner/ shy guy and they internalize that meaning mentally and then base their frame around it. I'm not saying you must be the life of the party, but simply you can still up your social game comfortably being an introvert. Don't use it as a hurdle

I think there is a danger when people read psychologial theories, understand half of it, then post a quarter of it on a forum as ''advice'', for mature men for crying out loud.

Yeah, Thanks for that input Darko