Introspection of my LTR; where I stand, where I should be heading, etc.

[Shivastorm_88]

So I would like to get feedback from you guys. I have logged on here to write about it, and saw n52's post that made me realize I have lost too many "boxes" reserved for myself since I started my masters, so I will work on that. Hence, my current situation will already assume I got back into what I plan on doing. First, before I talk about the dynamic of my relationship with my girl, I'd like to lay out what we both are, our hobbies, our skills, etc., as sort of a comparison.

FYI, we are both in our end twenties

- Physically: I am in shape, I pretty much have a beach body
- I'm vegan for health reasons, although lately I've been flexible, meaning when I go out in restaurants, at friend's or at family's, I eat vegetarian
- I dress up nicely, not flamboyant, but classy (mostly RW&Co and Mexx)
- I work full time at a bank, and make about $55k
- I am doing my masters part-time
- I am highly opinionated politics-wise, and she shares many of my views. She has shaped some of my opinions, and I have shaped some of hers. Hence, we are pretty much "in-tune"
- Activity-wise, I am the sole instigator. I don't mean dates (for example, she will also ask me to go to the movies), I mean sports. I got her into climbing, I convinced her to do fitness classes, I convinced her to sign in to a half-marathon. Hence, she is open-minded, but doesn't show initiative in that department.


- Physically: She is in shape, but not as much as I am. She isn't chubby though, but she isn't athletic. She is simply thin.
- She is not even vegetarian, but respects my lifestyle, and will eat the vegan meals that I cook. She has cut down her meat intake by probably 80% since we started dating.
- She puts a lot of attention in her appearance
- She works full time doing research at a university, makes about $45k
- She already has her masters in international development
- She is a feminist (not the annoying sort), is highly opinionated politics-wise, and is capable of intellectual reasoning and debating
- She has no real hobby outside of the ones she shares with me. She bikes to work, does fitness classes during her lunch, but other than that, none. I introduced her to hiking and climbing, which we still do together. I also got her to start training for a half-marathon.
- She is a social butterfly, although she never hangs out with male friends one on one. Despite the fact that I hang out with female friends one on one occasionally. However, she will hit clubs with her friends maybe once a month. Sometimes I go with her, sometimes I don't.

Our dynamic
- We spend a ****load of time together (week evenings except two of them), weekend days (except when she will have coffee with a friend while I study), and we typically go out a weekend night on our own, with our friends, and the other we are together.
- We get into petty fights maybe once every two weeks, but that is largely due to our characters; we are both highly opinionated, and have short tempers. However, it usually doesn't last very long
- The sex is still pretty amazing. I have a higher libido then her, but then again, I could have sex twice a day and still want more. We typically have sex 4-5 times a week. I've tested this before, if I don't initiate, she typically will after 2-3 days without sex. I usually hold out sex once every two weeks until she initiates.
- I cook. In part because I want to control what we eat, as I want us to eat as healthy as possible, especially during the weekdays. We also always have a brunch on weekends where I cook for us. However, she always does the dishes (I love cooking, hate doing the dishes)
- At home, I do more chores than her. Part of it is I go nuts if I sit down for more than five minutes (I'm hyper-active). Also, I can go by with 5-6 hours a sleep a day, and she needs her 8 hours.
- Whenever I ask her to do something for me, she will always unquestionably do it (as long as its reasonable). She also volunteers a lot to help me out. Latest thing was, two weeks ago my car was stolen and dumped somewhere in the city, I had to go get it, and she skipped her French class to come with me (even if I hadn't asked)
- We have full trust. Meaning, if she goes out with friends, I don't even feel the need to ask her with who, and same for me. I have access to her phone (I know the password) and she to mine. However, I don't snoop around (don't feel the need to)
- When we are not together, she will always call me (if we spend a night apart), even if it's just for a few minutes
- I text her much more than she texts me

Reading this, do you guys see any red flags, anything that should change, other than the fact that right now we spend too much time together, and that I text too much?

 

[JoeMarron]

- Activity-wise, I am the sole instigator. I don't mean dates (for example, she will also ask me to go to the movies), I mean sports. I got her into climbing, I convinced her to do fitness classes, I convinced her to sign in to a half-marathon. Hence, she is open-minded, but doesn't show initiative in that department.

- Physically: She is in shape, but not as much as I am. She isn't chubby though, but she isn't athletic. She is simply thin.

Tiny red flag. It's always nice to have a girl who's interested in staying fit but it looks like she's following your lead so I wouldn't worry about it.

She is a feminist

She has no real hobby outside of the ones she shares with me. She bikes to work, does fitness classes during her lunch, but other than that, none. I introduced her to hiking and climbing, which we still do together. I also got her to start training for a half-marathon.

Potential red flag. You don't want her nagging you because she's bored when you find hobbies that you want to do without her.

She is a social butterfly, although she never hangs out with male friends one on one. Despite the fact that I hang out with female friends one on one occasionally. However, she will hit clubs with her friends maybe once a month. Sometimes I go with her, sometimes I don't.

On second thought, this kinda negates my last comment. It sounds like she'll have no problem entertaining herself with her girlfriends.

At home, I do more chores than her. Part of it is I go nuts if I sit down for more than five minutes (I'm hyper-active). Also, I can go by with 5-6 hours a sleep a day, and she needs her 8 hours.

Lol this reminds me of a study I read stating that men who do more housework get less sex. You may want to get her invested in more of the housework. If you're feeling hyperactive go work in the garage or mow the grass, do some manly sh!t.

I text her much more than she texts me

Like you said you're texting her too much. You always want to have the woman investing more into you than you are her. That establishes the dynamic of her chasing you thus keeping her attracted.

Overall it seems like you have a good chick on your hands. I agree and disagree with the whole spending too much time together thing. Of course early on in the relationship, (how long have you guys been together?) you don't want to be spending a ton of time with her but eventually that's inevitable. If you're going to go all the way with this relationship (marriage and kids) then obviously you're going to be spending everyday with her. As long as you guys aren't pissing each other off or getting bored of each other then go ahead and spend as much time together as you want. If a breakup comes, as long as you have hobbies that you enjoy with or without her you'll be good. It might not be as fun without her for awhile but eventually you'll move on.

 

[VikingKing]

#1 meat is delicious, and a vegan are vegetarian diet decreases testosterone. But I respect your choice. More meat for me.

#2 She is a feminist. Never a good thing. If you ever marry this girl, watch as she cuts you off from sex, it will happen. feminist women are worthless unless you use them for sex, money, and what ever else you need to acquire (excluding an ltr, or marriage).

#3 you spend to much time together.

#4 text her less then she texts you.

#5 It may seem 50/50 right now, but the biggest red flag to me is the fact she is a feminist. When a woman is done with you (not saying she is) they can still pretend to care and be emotionally invested, as they are slowly breaking up with you in there minds. Then the rug will be pulled out from underneath you when the time is right, and if you haven't been through something like that before you most likely will not see it coming.

#6 eat some meat man, at least get organic. at least fish.

 

[Shivastorm_88]

HAH! Love the comment about meat. I won't get into a huge debate about it, but I decided to become vegan because I am so physically active (although I don't hit the gym), and it has actually increased my energy levels and recovery rate, while it has slimmed down my waist size (which was already small for starters ).

As for the feminist thing, I don't know if I really should call it feminism. It definitely isn't feminism in a mainstream, "I won't shave my legs" kind of way. Rather, it's more about equality of a minority group (and let's face it, although it is slowly changing, women have been a minority group in the Western culture. Even worse in the Oriental culture). I guess it goes with her education background.

But good point on the chores. I guess I need to find a way, because although I am not a clean freak, I hate seeing a dirty floor, and I feel the need to sweep/vacuum/clean. Winter is almost over, so I'll be able to get back into jogging, I might be able to switch it over from cleaning when I feel restless or must give my mind a break from studying!

As for texting, working on it! I've always been a heavy texter, even with friends, so it's harder. But, if she calls me more than I do (I never call her, she calls to chat when we are not together) what harm can it really do?