"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"

You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.

For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.

Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.

The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.

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Introducing YourSelf To Her

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LoneSilver

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If your have a romantic interest in a woman and maybe wanting to build a good relationship with the lady like I want, my question is when it comes time to introduce yourself to her for the first time even though like in my situation it appears a mutual attraction do you just give her your first name or first and last? And what signs or conversation topics do you give her that you want more than just a buddy relationship?

If this is outlined in another place I'm sorry for wasting space here and please direct me to that area as I plan on tomorrow or Wednesday approaching her again if shes showing interest.

LoneSilver :)
 

"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"

You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.

Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.

Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.

Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.

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LostDon

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Do things with her, go out and do BS stuff. But, if you really want to be with her. Make it known. It is better to know that you are wanted. Than to never know if you would of been wanted.

As for what to bring up in the conversation. Say "Why don't we go out on a "*date*" and hint towards an actual date, not a friendly date. There is a difference.

If she says yeah, you are good. If she says no, get on with your life. YOu have just been put on the friends ladder.
 
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PRMoon

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El Diablo is coming for this one.
 
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LoneSilver

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Originally posted by LostDon
Do things with her, go out and do BS stuff. But, if you really want to be with her. Make it known. It is better to know that you are wanted. Than to never know if you would of been wanted.

As for what to bring up in the conversation. Say "Why don't we go out on a "*date*" and hint towards an actual date, not a friendly date. There is a difference.

If she says yeah, you are good. If she says no, get on with your life. YOu have just been put on the friends ladder.
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Ok want about the introduction should I give out my full name or just my first for now or does it matter?

LoneSilver
 
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Hellboy

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Full name might come across as pompous, so I'd say first name should do. I don't even give a name typically, I just ask theirs. If she's interested she'll ask yours. It's a good opportunity for some eyecontact cos sometimes she will wait for you to tell her, get impatient and ask. If she doesn't ask take it as a hint that she doesn't wanna know.
 

"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

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LoneSilver

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Originally posted by Hellboy
Full name might come across as pompous, so I'd say first name should do. I don't even give a name typically, I just ask theirs. If she's interested she'll ask yours. It's a good opportunity for some eyecontact cos sometimes she will wait for you to tell her, get impatient and ask. If she doesn't ask take it as a hint that she doesn't wanna know.
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You know you hit on something Hellboy for one way I was going to approach her again was this way,

Hi remember me? I am sure she will then I'm going to say I wanted to introduce myself but there is a minor problem I am a gentleman and well lady first.

Is that charming or what? Or is that flaky?

LoneSilver
 
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MrHarris

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"Bond, James Bond"

What is so hard about saying hello my name is Craig, Charles, Jonathan or whatever and you are?
 
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Hellboy

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To be honest I think you're fretting too much over a tiny detail. The whole thing is gonna work much better if it's "unscripted", so to speak. Just talk to her. Ask her name, and use it. If she asks yours, tell it. I wouldn't worry too much about being charming, or gentlemanly, just try to have fun with the convo.
 
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LoneSilver

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Originally posted by Hellboy
To be honest I think you're fretting too much over a tiny detail. The whole thing is gonna work much better if it's "unscripted", so to speak. Just talk to her. Ask her name, and use it. If she asks yours, tell it. I wouldn't worry too much about being charming, or gentlemanly, just try to have fun with the convo.
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Ok sounds good Hellboy plus its easier to get into the convo with her smoothly being she works in a busy customer service department.

Thanks

LoneSilver :)
 

"Stop Asking Your Friends What to Text Her"

Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."

You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.

She's been waiting forty minutes.

Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.

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22 Rules for Massive Success With Women
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