Trailboss
Don Juan
Hey bro's, just wanted to intro myself after finding your site and signing up. I'm 47 yrs old, live in NJ, divorced (2x loser!) and in serious need of Game. After my last wench bailed in '06, I lost all interest and kept to myself. Just concentrated on my relationship with my son, which was a good thing during his formative years. I got lonely, yea, but that kept me going.
Started a new job (I.T. Field in a big hospital)in '07 and yes: there are *lots* of women there *but*...no interest. For 5.5 years now I have been walking around, solving problems in every department, talking to people without "saying" anything. My situation is also complicated by a traumatic amputation from an MVA accident many years ago (97). So...I walk on a prosthetic leg. I'm a big guy, 200lbs, blonde, blue eyes...told I am a good looking guy but...never thought of myself that way at all. And the leg thing can mess up your psyche when it comes to chicks! Is it possible to be an Alpha, without knowing (or even believing) your an Alpha? Other people just think it of you?
Anyway...the reason I am here is because I never had to "work" for a woman before. Got out of the military and hooked up with a chick from high school that I adored from afar but never dated. We talked and hung out but I was not the same guy when I got out the the Marines. Bigger, less shy, more...desirable. It wasn't hard to take her away from the dude she was with! Anyway, that lasted 8-9 years and when we got divorced I hooked up with a chick from work that was a friend for many years before that. We got married and that lasted 8 years or so. So...never had to do anything to pickup a chick. Like I said: No Game! Although my 2nd wife would complain that this woman or that woman was flirting with me or coming on to me....
Recently, a woman from the pharmacy coaxed me out of the "shell" I had locked myself into and suddenly we are talking all the time, hanging out on smoke breaks and she asked me to come over one night to help her get her DVD player working and get her xmas tree out of the attic. Nice 47 yr old petite blonde. We chatted, ate dinner, watched a movie: nothing more. And it felt good. But...I was total AFC without knowing it, now that I think back on it. She went squirrely when I dropped the "D" word on her and said we should go out on a date. She was surprised that *I* would want to date her (solid 5, if you only look at the physical)but a 10 in everything else. I surmise that she didn't want to date, deep down, as she handled the request with all the aplomb of a mom who was just asked out by her 10 yr old son! She asked my "why" I wanted to date her, and I told her, and none of it was related to looks. She then said "I suppose you are going to say you think I am pretty" and I said "Sure, I think you are pretty" thinking, "WTF else am I *going* to say? "No...your ugly"! She got a bit bent out of shape about that.I did say that there were other "pretty" women in the hospital and I am not trying to date them: don't care about them. Anyway, the tone of the conversation took a negative slant for the remainder and then her phone died and we were done.
Now, at this point I am thinking: "Ok, she obviously has a hangup about her looks and doesn't want to date". No big deal: I just thought since we were talking so much, let's go eat while we do it! I am also not thinking sex at this point. The next day I sent a text about 11am, saying "Hey...I downloaded some movies we can watch" and no reply. I sent another about 6pm saying "Hey...I hope you are not put off by my using the "D" word last night, we can LJBF and that's cool with me". I honestly wasn't thinking romantically about her: just wanted to hang out and actually be an AFC, as strange as that sounds. Nothing intense or sexual at this point. Didn't hear anything from her all week! Now, I may have been an AFC, but I think that I already had the making of a DJ in me, because I knew instinctively *not* to text endlessly, call with stupid messages or stop by her workspace and bother her...my natural inclination was *distance*. Back up and create distance and wait: see what develops.
By friday, I figured I wasn't gonna hear from her, but I missed our time together on smoke breaks and stuff. I wrote a note saying, basically, "Hey, sorry for any embarrassment, sorry for badly misreading this situation and asking ya out, lets just go back to the way it was and I am cool with that". Handed the note to the guy at the counter and asked him to give it to her. Couple days go by and I get a text saying "Hey, how are you? phone died, just got a new one in the mail, just read your note and WTF? Call me: we need to talk". So...I decide *not* to call. Not to respond. I wait till next day and text her that I was busy last night, couldn't respond and that there is nothing to talk about: let it go: it's ok". Haven't heard from her since. Not sure why I did that...I know she got the note and read it because she responded immediately by moving her car to another area of parking lot, altering her smoke breaks, etc. So...no big deal: I made a mistake and misread her intentions and now she is put out by it. Me, on the other hand...I was diggin her and somewhere in the back of my mind was the idea that we might hook up later. But...never said that to her.
Any way, this is dragging on so...I still have not heard from her. Not a big loss but...I feel like I lost a potential good friend. Oh well...the lesson from this is: I was in a shell, and i was content if not happy. And she dragged me out! And...I don't want to go back in. But...I realized that I am a mystery to everyone here at work. Nobody knows anything about me. A good bro I made, in another department, told me that. We been friends for a couple years and he is the only other employee I stop by and hang with. He would mention, once in a while, that "Such and such chick asked about you: you married or what"? So...there *was* interest but...I just didn't play. Problem is; back to the "Never having to work for it" thing...I have absolutely no real Game to speak of: I am an AFC with latent DJ tendencies! I started googling "meeting women, picking up women" and came up with your EXCELLENT site! I am reading the Bible and have spent an enormous amount of time reading here! I am actually hooked on it! LOL. So...I understand the basic principles of not validating, not playing their games, etc. There are plenty of opportunities to meet women where I am, although my ex said I wouldn't know a woman was coming onto me if she walked up and sat on my face! And, I'm afraid that may be true!
But...I am watching and learning. Body language, facial expression, eye movement...trying to practice it when I can. Anyway: Just wanted to say Hi to all you DJ's and express my hopes at joining the ranks sometime soon! Thankfully I am in pretty decent physical shape for 47 and I do have some kind of look going for me to make me outwardly suitable to talk to, on the women's part. I guess I will keep reading more and posting less and try to learn the new Game! Thanks for all the wisdom here: This place totally rocks!
Started a new job (I.T. Field in a big hospital)in '07 and yes: there are *lots* of women there *but*...no interest. For 5.5 years now I have been walking around, solving problems in every department, talking to people without "saying" anything. My situation is also complicated by a traumatic amputation from an MVA accident many years ago (97). So...I walk on a prosthetic leg. I'm a big guy, 200lbs, blonde, blue eyes...told I am a good looking guy but...never thought of myself that way at all. And the leg thing can mess up your psyche when it comes to chicks! Is it possible to be an Alpha, without knowing (or even believing) your an Alpha? Other people just think it of you?
Anyway...the reason I am here is because I never had to "work" for a woman before. Got out of the military and hooked up with a chick from high school that I adored from afar but never dated. We talked and hung out but I was not the same guy when I got out the the Marines. Bigger, less shy, more...desirable. It wasn't hard to take her away from the dude she was with! Anyway, that lasted 8-9 years and when we got divorced I hooked up with a chick from work that was a friend for many years before that. We got married and that lasted 8 years or so. So...never had to do anything to pickup a chick. Like I said: No Game! Although my 2nd wife would complain that this woman or that woman was flirting with me or coming on to me....
Recently, a woman from the pharmacy coaxed me out of the "shell" I had locked myself into and suddenly we are talking all the time, hanging out on smoke breaks and she asked me to come over one night to help her get her DVD player working and get her xmas tree out of the attic. Nice 47 yr old petite blonde. We chatted, ate dinner, watched a movie: nothing more. And it felt good. But...I was total AFC without knowing it, now that I think back on it. She went squirrely when I dropped the "D" word on her and said we should go out on a date. She was surprised that *I* would want to date her (solid 5, if you only look at the physical)but a 10 in everything else. I surmise that she didn't want to date, deep down, as she handled the request with all the aplomb of a mom who was just asked out by her 10 yr old son! She asked my "why" I wanted to date her, and I told her, and none of it was related to looks. She then said "I suppose you are going to say you think I am pretty" and I said "Sure, I think you are pretty" thinking, "WTF else am I *going* to say? "No...your ugly"! She got a bit bent out of shape about that.I did say that there were other "pretty" women in the hospital and I am not trying to date them: don't care about them. Anyway, the tone of the conversation took a negative slant for the remainder and then her phone died and we were done.
Now, at this point I am thinking: "Ok, she obviously has a hangup about her looks and doesn't want to date". No big deal: I just thought since we were talking so much, let's go eat while we do it! I am also not thinking sex at this point. The next day I sent a text about 11am, saying "Hey...I downloaded some movies we can watch" and no reply. I sent another about 6pm saying "Hey...I hope you are not put off by my using the "D" word last night, we can LJBF and that's cool with me". I honestly wasn't thinking romantically about her: just wanted to hang out and actually be an AFC, as strange as that sounds. Nothing intense or sexual at this point. Didn't hear anything from her all week! Now, I may have been an AFC, but I think that I already had the making of a DJ in me, because I knew instinctively *not* to text endlessly, call with stupid messages or stop by her workspace and bother her...my natural inclination was *distance*. Back up and create distance and wait: see what develops.
By friday, I figured I wasn't gonna hear from her, but I missed our time together on smoke breaks and stuff. I wrote a note saying, basically, "Hey, sorry for any embarrassment, sorry for badly misreading this situation and asking ya out, lets just go back to the way it was and I am cool with that". Handed the note to the guy at the counter and asked him to give it to her. Couple days go by and I get a text saying "Hey, how are you? phone died, just got a new one in the mail, just read your note and WTF? Call me: we need to talk". So...I decide *not* to call. Not to respond. I wait till next day and text her that I was busy last night, couldn't respond and that there is nothing to talk about: let it go: it's ok". Haven't heard from her since. Not sure why I did that...I know she got the note and read it because she responded immediately by moving her car to another area of parking lot, altering her smoke breaks, etc. So...no big deal: I made a mistake and misread her intentions and now she is put out by it. Me, on the other hand...I was diggin her and somewhere in the back of my mind was the idea that we might hook up later. But...never said that to her.
Any way, this is dragging on so...I still have not heard from her. Not a big loss but...I feel like I lost a potential good friend. Oh well...the lesson from this is: I was in a shell, and i was content if not happy. And she dragged me out! And...I don't want to go back in. But...I realized that I am a mystery to everyone here at work. Nobody knows anything about me. A good bro I made, in another department, told me that. We been friends for a couple years and he is the only other employee I stop by and hang with. He would mention, once in a while, that "Such and such chick asked about you: you married or what"? So...there *was* interest but...I just didn't play. Problem is; back to the "Never having to work for it" thing...I have absolutely no real Game to speak of: I am an AFC with latent DJ tendencies! I started googling "meeting women, picking up women" and came up with your EXCELLENT site! I am reading the Bible and have spent an enormous amount of time reading here! I am actually hooked on it! LOL. So...I understand the basic principles of not validating, not playing their games, etc. There are plenty of opportunities to meet women where I am, although my ex said I wouldn't know a woman was coming onto me if she walked up and sat on my face! And, I'm afraid that may be true!
But...I am watching and learning. Body language, facial expression, eye movement...trying to practice it when I can. Anyway: Just wanted to say Hi to all you DJ's and express my hopes at joining the ranks sometime soon! Thankfully I am in pretty decent physical shape for 47 and I do have some kind of look going for me to make me outwardly suitable to talk to, on the women's part. I guess I will keep reading more and posting less and try to learn the new Game! Thanks for all the wisdom here: This place totally rocks!
Last edited: