"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"

You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.

For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.

Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.

The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.

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Intimidation at the Gym

Triple T

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yea so i've been going to the gym now for about 2 weeks.
Only problem I have is the intimidation from some of the other bodybuilders.

Since most of the people at my gym are 20+ and are huge, they seem to not like the idea of a 15 year old little guy working out at the gym. They always give me stares like I shouldn't be there and a few ask me how many sets i have left and when i tell them they just roll their eyes and cross their arms.
It really intimidates me and a few times already, I have skipped a set so that the line waiting behind me can go on the bench or something.

Other times I walk into the gym, see alot of big guys just working out in the free weights area...and I'm scared to go over there and do anything. They always give me stares...:(
and it gets a big crowded.


Its really messing up my routine and slowing my progress. I just don't know how to deal with it...sometimes I feel like I don't belong there with all of them just looking at me pump a 70 lb. bench while they do 200lb ones. :(

How can I deal with this?
 

"She's Out of Your League"

You've said it a hundred times. Maybe a thousand. And every time you say it, you train your brain to freeze the next time she walks into the room.

Leagues are a myth invented by guys who are scared of women.

She's a person. She has bad breath in the morning. She picks songs she can't sing in the shower. She overthinks her own texts.

Walk over. Say something. The league dissolves the second you open your mouth.

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Quiksilver

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You have to believe that what you are doing is not wrong, and that instead, it is they who are being immature.

Just forget about them.

And also, when you see those guys benching 200+, just remember that when you're their age, you'll be twice as strong as they are. However, you won't be if you wimp out ;)
 

Nip/Tuck

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Triple T said:
yea so i've been going to the gym now for about 2 weeks.
Only problem I have is the intimidation from some of the other bodybuilders.

Since most of the people at my gym are 20+ and are huge, they seem to not like the idea of a 15 year old little guy working out at the gym. They always give me stares like I shouldn't be there and a few ask me how many sets i have left and when i tell them they just roll their eyes and cross their arms.
It really intimidates me and a few times already, I have skipped a set so that the line waiting behind me can go on the bench or something.

Other times I walk into the gym, see alot of big guys just working out in the free weights area...and I'm scared to go over there and do anything. They always give me stares...:(
and it gets a big crowded.


Its really messing up my routine and slowing my progress. I just don't know how to deal with it...sometimes I feel like I don't belong there with all of them just looking at me pump a 70 lb. bench while they do 200lb ones. :(

How can I deal with this?
Locate your balls if you have any. Do you really think they started out benching 200 lbs? Or weighting more than 150 lbs? No everyone has to start sometime, stop making excuses and get in there. If you can't then just get yourself a home gym and start working out there. If a bigger guy looked at me in the gym, I'd stare back until he breaks the stare. I never gotten an attitude from any of them, most of them are all talk.
 

New2Town

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Pick the biggest guy and whoop him! What works in prison works in the gym.
 

oneshot

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perhaps im in a different situation than yours considering that most of the people in my gym are pretty skinny... but staring back at them until they break the stare is a good idea since i do do that pretty often.
if i were you, i'd start getting majorly pissed at their attitude, and be even more determined to obtain the strength and size to be able to beat the living sh1t out of them in the future--this makes you train harder.
i can't help being stupid like this--but i've never allowed anybody who is older/bigger to intimidate me...which is probably the reason i pissed some bastards off in the past and started to fight with them :box:
 

"So, What Do You Do for Fun?"

She asks it casually, mid-sip. And you feel the floor open up, because the honest answer is work, gym, and a couple shows you're half-watching.

Women rarely say this out loud, but a man with a life is attractive before he says a word. The guy who spent Saturday deep-sea fishing and came back with photos and a story — he walks in already interesting.

The "22 Rules" pushed me to build a life worth talking about. Turns out the fastest way to be interesting to women is to be interested in your own life first.

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Bling

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Bro, I know how you feel. All of us little guys have been there. Just remember not to do it to the little guys when you're big.
 

shaunuk

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If guys are pressuring you etc (ie rolling their eyes at you etc), they're out of order. Just remember why you're there: to train. Who cares what a few gym boys think, one day you're gonna be bigger than them (as long as you stick at this).

I've found that a lot of guys who LOOK intimidating the "tough" in the gym are often nice guys when you get talking to them. In my gym most of the guys don't have an attitude like their look suggests, they're quite friendly. Just my experience tho..

Don't let it affect you, put your iPod on, do your routine, then go home..then by time you're 18 and you've trained for 3 years you'll be one of the biggest guys in your gym ;)
 

frivolousz21

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stare at them back like ur ready for some heads to role.

who cares what some roided up insecure pyssys do :)
 

joekerr31

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if you are aware of what is going on around you at the gym then you aren't focused enough on your work out.

you have to go in there and totally block out everything going on around you.

as for any of them who look down on you .... the ones who do that have low self esteem.

which may not make sense to you becuase they are so much bigger than you, but remember, they probably know lots of guys who are bigger than them.

so they like to look at you and think 'hah! look how wimpy he is. im da man compared to him!"

you should just laugh to yourself that after all their efforts in the gym they are still so petty.

mature, confident body builders would be encouraging you and telling you to 'keep it up.'

are you working out at a cheap gym - YMCA type of thing? i've found the gyms that are really cheap get a lot of the 20 year olds who are really immature.

maybe think of asking your parents for a few bucks so you can join a gym with a better clientel
 

MrS

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Everyone starts somewhere!
People might play it smartarse, but noone cares.
 

"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"

You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.

And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.

Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.

The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.

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Triple T

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joekerr31 said:
are you working out at a cheap gym - YMCA type of thing? i've found the gyms that are really cheap get a lot of the 20 year olds who are really immature.

maybe think of asking your parents for a few bucks so you can join a gym with a better clientel
Actually my gym is smaller than a YMCA one. It has cardio upstairs, then free weights and machines downstairs...its not too small but its still pretty small.
Its the closest and the most convenient gym for me so I can't really switch.


But yea, I guess I see your guy's point now. I'll focus more for my next workout. Thanks. :up:
 

Fuglydude

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In my experience, most of the big dudes in the gym are pretty nice guys. I actually love working out in gyms with more powerlifter/hardcore bodybuilder types because like Epsi said its totally motivating! You'd be wise to follow his advice.

Just focus on yourself and your workout, train with high intensity, and eat eat and eat some more!
 

SayWord?

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take your time with your workouts. dont pay them no mind

btw, them dudes might have some sugar in their tank, for eyeing you
 

swifTy

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:rockon: good on you bro for goin down there at 15. takes balls imo espec if these guys are huge. pay them no mind and KEEP GOING. keep using the weights. keep using the space. tell them your gonna be more ripped than they are. point at their body fat. :rockon: then bolt.
 

"How I Made Sure No Woman Ever Friend-Zoned Me Again"

She calls you when her car breaks down. When she needs help moving. When some guy she's actually dating treats her badly.

You're the listener. The reliable one. The guy who would treat her so much better, if she'd just open her eyes.

She won't. You trained her to see you as the low-effort option — the friend who requires zero risk and zero investment. Every favor dug the hole deeper.

The "22 Rules" break the pattern. You'll stop auditioning for a role she already cast and become the man she chases instead. It starts with Rule 1.

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BringTheNoise

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I'm new here (well sort of, have been reading for a while) but I agree with the other guys. I'm not huge by any means but when I'm at the gym all of the big guys seem intimidating, but when you begin to talk to them they are usually really cool guys. Just stay focused and remember why you're there. No worries.
 

mrRuckus

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Fuglydude said:
In my experience, most of the big dudes in the gym are pretty nice guys. I actually love working out in gyms with more powerlifter/hardcore bodybuilder types because like Epsi said its totally motivating! You'd be wise to follow his advice.
It's not motivating to me, but it sure makes me concentrate on form so I don't look like an idiot.

Last thing I want is for bigger guys to have the thoughts I'm having about most dudes in the gym doing weird stuff in terrible form.

Today I saw a guy doing speed biceps. I swear he had 15 lb dbs and cheated like crazy on every rep bouncing everywhere for like 50 reps. He was obviously going for as fast as he could. What the heck! It looked like he was trying to pedal a bike the way his hips were gyrating.
 

frivolousz21

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mrRuckus said:
It's not motivating to me, but it sure makes me concentrate on form so I don't look like an idiot.

Last thing I want is for bigger guys to have the thoughts I'm having about most dudes in the gym doing weird stuff in terrible form.

Today I saw a guy doing speed biceps. I swear he had 15 lb dbs and cheated like crazy on every rep bouncing everywhere for like 50 reps. He was obviously going for as fast as he could. What the heck! It looked like he was trying to pedal a bike the way his hips were gyrating.
4 years ago I was a regular at the mens health weight training forums...it was hell going to the gym watching most people lift improperly.
 

KarmaSutra

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2 months ago I started really hitting the gym hard and the built guys would look at me, the fat guy, with impunity and contempt.

I paid them no attention at all. One jagoff was pacing around huffing and puffing and had the nerve to ask me when I'd be done with the squat rack. I slowly turned around and told him: "When I walk away from here, is when I'm done." Square in the fvcking eye. He looked like I had kicked him in his c0ck. As if I didn't have the right to talk to him that way since he was the king of the ring.

He walked away though. I never paid him another second of my time. A few days later he comes over and asks me to spot him on the incline. Out of all of the people in the gym he comes to me to spot him. It's precisely because he EARNED my attention and was gracious for it.

He and I are buddies now. Violence begets violence and proves nothing. Standing your ground and having a decisive opinion means everything.
 

"So, What Do You Do for Fun?"

She asks it casually, mid-sip. And you feel the floor open up, because the honest answer is work, gym, and a couple shows you're half-watching.

Women rarely say this out loud, but a man with a life is attractive before he says a word. The guy who spent Saturday deep-sea fishing and came back with photos and a story — he walks in already interesting.

The "22 Rules" pushed me to build a life worth talking about. Turns out the fastest way to be interesting to women is to be interested in your own life first.

Read more...

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