Intimidated and somewhat lovestruck by her

[JohnnyStorm]

Hey guys, first post so go easy on me!

I find myself kind of in recovery after a tragic last relationship that destroyed all my confidence and basically left me isolated with few friends. I'm getting my life on track, working on my confidence and trying to expand my social circle, but I'm still miles away from where I want to be as of yet (not feeling sorry for myself btw!).

I got introduced to a friend of a friend who, in terms of the whole package, is basically amazing. She has far more friends than me and basically everyone who meets her, loves her and at times when I think about this I just can't help but feel quite intimidated and insecure.
We are getting on quite well and our interractions are getting flirtier etc. I am trying to play the gent around her as negging, bragging just doesn't seem to impress her. She also doesn't actually appear aware of how attractive she is and is constantly putting herself down in this regard.

I know she's just another flawed human who eats and ****s like the rest of us, but I'm feeling pretty lovestruck and intimidated here. Can anyone suggest anything practical to rehearse/affirm/do to get over this?

I read that you should "give to the givers and take from the takers". However, I want to maintain my dignity. So at what point should one give up in his pursuit of a girl that may not actually be interested. Is attempting to woo a woman like the days of old a waste of time as there are plenty more fish in the sea? Or is she worth the effort as I believe she has real inner beauty to go with whats on the outside.
*Rambling post over*
Thoughts?

 

[Aaron B]

if you feel intimidated and insecure then the battle is already lost

either you are the prize or she is

 

[st_99]

is basically amazing.

you already failed.

 

[backbreaker]

:microwavespopcorn:

 

[Mike32ct]

Hey guys, first post so go easy on me!

Welcome to the forum.

I find myself kind of in recovery after a tragic last relationship that destroyed all my confidence and basically left me isolated with few friends. I'm getting my life on track, working on my confidence and trying to expand my social circle, but I'm still miles away from where I want to be as of yet (not feeling sorry for myself btw!).

You have to take one step at a time. It can sometimes take years to get exactly where you want to be.

I got introduced to a friend of a friend who, in terms of the whole package, is basically amazing. She has far more friends than me and basically everyone who meets her, loves her and at times when I think about this I just can't help but feel quite intimidated and insecure.

Yeah I've been there.

We are getting on quite well and our interractions are getting flirtier etc. I am trying to play the gent around her as negging, bragging just doesn't seem to impress her. She also doesn't actually appear aware of how attractive she is and is constantly putting herself down in this regard.

A lot of "confident" people secretly have insecurities. As far as a girl not knowing her attractiveness, I doubt it. If she's cute, she knows it on some level. If she's hot, she absolutely knows it too, but can still be insecure at times.

I know she's just another flawed human who eats and ****s like the rest of us,

Hot chicks don't sh*t. They have magical powers that make waste products disapppear lol. Just kidding. You are correct.

but I'm feeling pretty lovestruck and intimidated here. Can anyone suggest anything practical to rehearse/affirm/do to get over this?

You're getting too hung up on her LOOKS. Is she intelligent? Is she a good person? Does she have a personality? Is she fun to be with?

First, come from the perspective that, "Ok, you're cute, but what else do you have to hold my interest?"

I read that you should "give to the givers and take from the takers". However, I want to maintain my dignity. So at what point should one give up in his pursuit of a girl that may not actually be interested.

Did you ask her out and she rejected you or flaked? Even if she didn't, you are fighting a major uphill battle because you worship her too much. This puts you in a much weaker position.

Is attempting to woo a woman like the days of old a waste of time as there are plenty more fish in the sea?

Correct. Woo, as in convince her that you are worthy enough to date her? Good luck with that one. She is either interested or she isn't.

Or is she worth the effort as I believe she has real inner beauty to go with whats on the outside.

Maybe she does. But please try to avoid a major rookie mistake in believing that "She is perfect for me." She is only perfect for you if she has these traits AND is interested in you. Otherwise, she's only perfect to text her ex at 2:00 a.m. to have him come over and explore the latest s*x positions she read in a magazine.

*Rambling post over*
Thoughts?

First and foremorst, don't worship her like some goddess. Next, we need to know if you made any moves on her. But overall, I'm gonna be realistic. This is a very much a long shot and probably already over. I would put my money elsewhere.