Intimacy and approaching

[Freewheelin Frank]

How do you deal with fears of intimacy and the approach?

Like right now, theres no way I could do Kino.

Approaching is also very hard for me. I stutter from time to time, I know my face gets flushed, I have a hard time maintaining eye contact, and I even get so nervous my stomache hurts and I sweat too much.

I wish there was some way that I could get set up on like a practice date with no pressure so I could just get used to talking to women, hanging out with them etc.

I've never really had a female friend and I didn't have any sisters and therefore no chics really came around my house growing up because of that. Most of my cousins were male too.. so I just don't know how to deal with females.

 

[Freewheelin Frank]

I guess theres not an answer for this is there?

 

[chator56]

I thought i gave you one, or two

A lot of our limitations are self-imposed. You need to walk before you can fly. The first thing you need to learn is how to feel comfortable around women. Forget about trying to approach a girl for a date right now. Instead, try hanging out in places where a lot of girls frequent. Explore interests you have that women also share. When you discover you can relate to girls they'll be a lot less scary. Get a job somewhere that will put you in contact w/people, force yourself to learn social skills.

On the kino issue, I mentioned what worked for me in another post. It was ballroom dancing. This got me comfortable w/touching girls/women. That's the first step.

 

[Vibe]

Try hanging out in places where a lot of girls frequent.

I like to hang out in Victoria's Secret stores. They're like, "what're you doing here?" I'm like, "Just hanging out...trying on bras. You know." And then we help pick out lingerie for each other. I think it really shows that I can relate to them and that we have a lot in common.

~Vibe~

 

[chator56]

I like to hang out in Victoria's Secret stores. ~Vibe~

Ever run into Bill Clinton there?

 

[Distant Light]

From the looks of it your probably going in serious as fuvk thinking and hoping everything goes right. Why is it people can't talk to a hot female stranger but can talk to there little niece for days? This is suppose to be fun. Reason why you can't do kino is because your scared of rejection simple as that. Your scared that if you touch her she will slap you or say something like don't touch me. But you must realize kino isn't scary at all.

Just do it Kino is no big deal. Another thing that I like to do before approachin is to have a frame already set before I even go approach. The frames I go in with are...

"This is a dream world and when the dream ends(when you die) nothing would matter anymore"
"This is my PU lab and I'm going to test out new things" (alot of fun expecially if you believe it)
"I have 8 fuking hot ass girls at home and I just want to add this girl to my stable."

But ya those work a ton for me cause now that I'm in a fun mood and do the 3 sec rule, I don't feel no social axiety maybe when I'm in the set but not when I approach. Kino I love doing, playing games with girls I just met acting as if she is my gf stuff like dat, its alot of fun.

I'm also assuming whenever you did any approaches you were standing more than 3 feet away from her, its best to be close to her after first few mins.

 

[Freewheelin Frank]

Explore interests you have that women also share.

Thats a problem, there aren't any. I don't listen to any current mainstream music(it all sucks), I don't watch much TV..

Here are things i know about and like to talk about:

politics/current events, languages, history, food/cooking, comics(well mainly Batman), and like i said music but not music that most chics in my age group are into..