Interracial dating/reasserting masculinity

[DJdante776]

So I am in a white/asian relationship me being the white one.

Anyway I've been dating this girl for a couple of years, early in the relationship I was pretty depressed, took her for granted, had a side relationship which she found out about, and really left it up to her to take care of me and bring me back to health. All of this I am very ashamed of.

I snapped out of it got healthy agian and have done my best to be a good boyfriend, but in being so f'ed up earlier I let go of alot of my independence, our bank accounts are combined and we live together, now that I am better I want more power and control in the relationship, but she refuses to relinquish her control. If I do not do what she wants me to do she screams at me and uses violence, and I mean violence, I have to restrain her and try to make her calm down, if I just sit there she leaves heavy damage on my body.

I know this all sounds horrible and a lot of guys are going why is he with her? but I do love her, we've had great times together and I owe my wellness to her. But there is no intimacy/love making, no romance anymore, just a servant and his master.

I want to reassert myself as a man, I have put my foot down many times and am clear and honest with how I feel. She justifies everything she does in the name of my past infidelity. I do my best to move her and I forward. I do not know how much of how she views relationships is due to her culture (her parents are downright cruel to each other (chinese)). Or how much of it is her.

Does anyone have any experience with chinese girls? what is it they want in a guy? the white girls I've been with liked it when I talked about how I felt what I thought and beleived in 50/50 relationships, is this a cultural difference with the chinese? do they beleive males are suppose to be complete hardasses?

any advice or thoughts on any of this is welcome, I want to make it work even if it sounds like I should get the hell out,

thanks guys,

 

[Duffdog]

Does anyone have any experience with chinese girls?

Asian girls, yes. They are very big on image and presentation, not big on "sharing emotional connection" A Korean girl I was seeing thought that white people are "too gay" and talk too much about their feelings and "other fake-ass crap like that" I got the feeling that what she wanted out of the relationship was for her to be the girl and have the male make all the decisions and be the protector and the enforcer. Further, that if she was forced to be the enforcer, she didn't like it and wanted me to step up and take control of the situation.


I remember during some of the violent episodes that I would also sit there sometimes, but she would continue punching just as you mentioned. I do remember losing my temper and grabbing both of her arms and lifting her up to my eye level and saying "quit being a b1tch! now!" To which she responded by getting very surprised and immediately becoming submissive, as if what she wanted the whole time was for me to intimidate her into a submissive role. Thats pretty much all I remember.

 

[everywomanshero]

**** dude, I end up sick of every relationship sooner or later. Im not even gonna give u any advice because Im divorced lol that's like taking stock advice from a broke investor. Maybe ask someone who is realy happy with his relationship that u know personally?

 

[TravisBickle]

....


I snapped out of it got healthy agian and have done my best to be a good boyfriend, but in being so f'ed up earlier I let go of alot of my independence, our bank accounts are combined and we live together, now that I am better I want more power and control in the relationship, but she refuses to relinquish her control. If I do not do what she wants me to do she screams at me and uses violence, and I mean violence, I have to restrain her and try to make her calm down, if I just sit there she leaves heavy damage on my body.

finding the answer to your question isn't even an issue. leave this abusive relationship. you don't love her.

also, don't fall for the trap like poster #2 did: if she attacks you, and you touch her, you're ****ed by our messed up laws.