"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"

You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.

For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.

Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.

The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.

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Interogating

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Demon Wolf

Don Juan
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I feel like I am interrogating people when I talk to them.
EX:

What's your major?
Why did you choose that?
How long have you lived here?
What position did you play?

THese are examples I got out of the DJB and from Dale Carnegie's book Winning Friends and influencing people.

By asking these questions I show interest, but I feel like I am being an interrogator and not being an enjoyable person to talk to.
 

"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

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Dominicus

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i know exactly what you're saying, because i can be guilty of this some times.

if ever in a convo i start seeing myself as an interogator, i always try to change the subject so something funny/wierd. perhaps an odd observation and then going on from there. example: "Oh my God, the funniest/craziest/weirdest thing happened to me the other day!" or "Did you ever notice...?" or "You'll never believe this...."
 
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Francisco d'Anconia

Master Don Juan
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Stop asking questions without providing your own relative feedback. There's no such thing as a one way conversation.
 
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22 Rules for Massive Success With Women
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