"The Kiss of Death Mistake"

You replay the conversation at 2 a.m. She texted back fast yesterday. Today, nothing. Was that smile friendly or flirty? What did the shoulder touch mean?

Every hour you spend decoding her signals drains your confidence and hands her the controls. Women can sense that insecurity from across the room — and it repels them.

One of the "22 Rules" kills the obsession on the spot: assume she likes you, and act accordingly. Sounds too simple. Works anyway.

Her interest tends to rise to meet your expectations. Psychologists call it a self-fulfilling prophecy.

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internet girl wants to chat via phone rather

afc_2_dj

Don Juan
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Hi all,

I have been in touch with a girl via an internet dating site, like literally only one message odd, I wrote to initiate, she responsed, I replied then she wrote basically she is rarely online/not computor literate, and would rather chat via phone, including her phone number.

Now those first mails where extremely basic fluff, we have not done any serious chatting at all.

My problem comes in I hate/detest talking on the phone, I am really bad at it.
If I were to do a long phone call in lieu of chatting via email I dont think I would make a good first impression.

What do you guys think I should do?

1. Call her and say lets meet rather? [what about the fact that we hardly emailed?]
2. Text her and have a text message conversation?
3. Try and have a long-winded conversation via phone?

I know texting is lame, but even option 1 I wouldn't be sure what to say, i.e. how to fix a date without her wanting to know 500 silly things about me first. And emailing to say lets meet rather feels lame given I have her number.

Hmmm....

[p.s. no flames for using internet, internet dating actually sucks, but hey at least its something!]
 

"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"

You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.

For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.

Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.

The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.

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Docs

Banned
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You hate the phone.

-_-...I don't even know where to begin....

Just call her, buy some cheap ass phone card (or INet phone) and chat her up. She's a online chick, so you got nothing to worry about, so go all out and get some damned confidence.
 

LionOne

Don Juan
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FIRST send her txt messages, "Hi, this is afc_2_dj! now very busy but we could have a talk later this evening :) what u been up to?

Then if she responses, talk little bit more with txt messages. Be interesting & bust her with C&F. Then call her, fluff a little and set up meeting (have a date in ur mind, like playing a pool). I don't advice talking more than 5-10 minutes in phone but it is really up to u. Gl.

(Ps. Internet dating sukks, get a life ;) )
 

md3sign

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Texting is not lame in the least bit. It's much more to-the-point and I much rather prefer it to phone conversations. You can also avoid saying stupid sh!t. Matter of fact I don't even talk to a girl on the phone anymore unless 1) I'm getting directions or 2) I've already had sex with her or 3) she calls me. #3 usually doesn't happen until #2 is complete.

Keep it short and sweet and schedule a get together. Personally I'm finding out that the more you try to "slip" your way into a date via extensive email/sms/phone convos the harder it is to actually land one. Embrace your masculinity - be aggressive. 2-3 texts in you can easily suggest a date.

If you do end up calling her (just don't text and call - pick one), no more than 5 minutes, tops. Ask her about her day and once she's done talking schedule a get together.

Lion - maybe internet dating sucks for you.
 

rrrrr

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There's a difference between text messaging and phone conversations, when text messaging, you can think about what you're going to say, start to say something, then realize it's a bad move, go back and fix it, then respond. It' doesn't translate to phone skills. And my guess is most women are going to at least want to talk to you on phone some day after they text message you, so it's important to develop these phone conversation skills.

To be honest with you, I would just try to have a long winded phone call to develop these skills. So at least at some point, you'd be decent using the phone with women you really don't know that well. But that's just me.

But if I really liked this woman, i'd take the advice of m3design
 

"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

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