Internal tug of war

[JackBauer24]

I don't think women are better than me, I just think most (as in 95% percent) want nothing do to with me other than to make fun of me. Admittedly, I disregard and don't want anything to do with really ugly and/or chubby girls but at the same time I don't want model/stripper/porn star looking women either. Most women I'm attracted to would fall somewhere in the 6-8 range of most guys here...attractive, nice face, nice body, etc., but not the kind of woman that's likely to get hit on by every guy every place she goes...more likely to be thought of as "cute" or "pretty" as opposed to "hot."

My taste isn't going to change. Last time I even kissed a girl, Antoine Walker was still on the Celtics and the Patriots hadn't won a Super Bowl, so settling isn't an option.

I've shown several pictures of myself to guys on this site, one guy recently thought I was lying about having girl problems, another said something to the effect of "I'm not gay but you're a really good looking guy." That's nice to hear and everything, but it doesn't change the fact that women don't show interest in me, or if they do, I'm so paranoid that I think they're making fun of me or something.

For example, I was at a restaurant tonight and was attracted to one of the waitresses. She walked by a number of times to go to the tables she was waiting on. I thought she was making fun of me with her co-workers...was somehow onto the fact that I was undressing her with my eyes and laughing about me with her co-workers. If I had to put a lot of money on it, I wouldn't. I had a "feeling" but it wasn't a certainty.

This type of thing happens all the time. I think some girl or woman is laughing at me and have no proof, just think "she looks like someone that would make fun of me." This even happens with fat or ugly girls, only like I said, I disregard it because similar to guys, I look at them as irrelevant.

So like I said at the beginning, do I think above average looking women are better people than me? No. Do I think they want nothing to do with me? Yes. And it's a game of internal tug of war that has to end at some point for me to talk to women but hasn't yet.

 

[PrinceBeavis]

Wow, you're really wrapped up in yourself. You're very self centered.

Let me tell you something. Nobody is making fun of you. Truth is, people are thinking about themselves and couldn't really care enough to make fun of you.

They have their own problems, and insecurities. If anything, you're being paranoid, and you might be freaking people out by being paranoid.

You also have a bad attitude. You look down on everyone. There may be some losers around, but it's not all of them....even so, that doesn't give you the right to feel better than anyone.

 

[Evolution]

I've shown several pictures of myself to guys on this site, one guy recently thought I was lying about having girl problems, another said something to the effect of "I'm not gay but you're a really good looking guy." The problem is that I was bullied all the way through school and it continued throughout college, presumably because of something to do with my looks. They're strangers and don't know me, and I don't do anything, say anything, or wear anything that would draw negative attention to myself, so I always figured it had to be my looks.

I was bullied too growing up, and in a few ways I still am. But, being bullied does not give you an excuse.

Your looks are not the problem. Its your attitude and the way you perceive yourself. Thats the first thing that has got to change.

A year before I'd **** my pants before I talked to the blondie. Now I can approach almost effortlessly.

Because deep down I know that its just a girl, and shes gonna enjoy my company. Its what I honestly believe, and nothing is gonna change that. Its my reality

Not surprisingly, it doesn't really affect me when I think a guy is making fun of me. I'm not a social person at all and could care less about having guy friends unless they're unusually cool or there's something about them that makes them more interesting than the average person. In other words, if they're not Jack Bauer, Fox Mulder, Kramer or someone like that, I don't want loser friends with predictable personalities that just sit around and get drunk on the weekends. I'd rather be alone.

This alone, is one of your biggest problems right now. Being anti-social is not going to bring you close to any women, and is actually gonna pull away people from you.

I've met a lot of people, who you may consider "losers". Because of either their looks, or their lifestyle. But once I got to know them, I actually envy them. Their have the life they wanted, and its what makes them happy. And thats fine with me.

I'm not telling you to make friends with drunks.

Start choosing your friends wisely, and give people a fair chance. You never know what kind of people you will come across. And you especially don't know what kind of people who are going to make a life changing impression on you.

The point being, I'm mostly interested in attractive women. The difficulty with that is that I don't feel attractive women want anything to do with me. For example, I was at a restaurant tonight and was attracted to one of the waitresses. She walked by a number of times to go to the tables she was waiting on. I thought she was making fun of me with her co-workers...was somehow onto the fact that I was undressing her with my eyes and laughing about me with her co-workers. If I had to put a lot of money on it, I wouldn't. I had a "feeling" but it wasn't a certainty.

Are you feeling guilty for liking women? Stop that. Its perfectly normal to like women

Believe it or not most women are very friendly, and have helped me a lot. If you are only viewing women from your bad experiences its going to poison your beliefs.

Change your attitude towards women. Because more often than not, there are a lot of women right now who wants you.

This type of thing happens all the time. I think some girl or woman is laughing at me and have no proof, just think "she looks like someone that would make fun of me." This even happens with fat or ugly girls, only like I said, I disregard it because similar to guys, I look at them as irrelevant.

I call this the women are one single organism fallacy. Every woman is different. And I cannot believe how you believe every women is laughing at you?

Have you honestly done something that has blacklisted you from women?

 

[JackBauer24]

"You also have a bad attitude. You look down on everyone."

Like I said, I don't think women are better than me, but I do feel like they are "out of my league" and don't look at me as a dating and/or sexual partner. If anything, the problem is that I look up at them.

As for not liking ugly and/or fat women, if you go out women like that and see their "inner beauty," you're a better man than me, most of the guys on this site, and most guys in general. But I somehow doubt you're on here because you want to meet Queen Latifah.

 

[JackBauer24]

"Have you honestly done something that has blacklisted you from women?"

It seems that way. I'm not joking. I don't like my looks (which is another issue) but I think you wouldn't have to look far to find guys that looked worse than me. I don't see what's so "ugly" or "weird" about my looks that would make me stand out. But here's a recent, non-high school example. I was taking a college class, and a guy and girl sat behind me. The girl took shots at me left and right, thinking she was so cool and I couldn't hear her. The guy went along with it, but you could tell he was just trying to be on the girl's good side. Everyday she'd have something to say about my hair, my glasses, my shirt, anything about me. I wanted to punch her ugly face, but there are laws against hitting women. Saying something to her only would have fed her ego, so I just pretended I didn't hear her and eventually told the teacher I needed to switch seats because of vision problems.

The point being, I don't think I'm some unusually ugly person, but girls like her seem to think so.

 

[Evolution]

Like I said, I don't think women are better than me, but I do feel like they are "out of my league" and don't look at me as a dating and/or sexual partner. If anything, the problem is that I look up at them.

This is a major problem. Men and women are equal. Your diick is just as valuable as their pvssy.

Stop looking up to women and placing them up on a pedalstal. I actually told a girlfriend of mine that I'd hate to be a girl in high school.

Because you'd get hit on by 100 guys a day, every 10 step you go. You can't even go outside without getting hit on. You'd have to act like a ***** just to get rid of them.


So many beautiful women today are single, because they cannot find the right man.

A real man is so rare that a beautiful women finds one every three years. And she has virtually no chance with him.

You see a beautiful women every day, but a real man once every few years.

Aspire to be that man.

 

[JackBauer24]

Having low self-esteem but a strong interest in women isn't a good combination and offers no starting point. To talk to a girl like the waitress, you have to have self-esteem, but to get self-esteem you have to have experience talking to a girl like her and being confident in your ability to attract a girl like her.

 

[Evolution]

Having low self-esteem but a strong interest in women isn't a good combination and offers no starting point. To talk to a girl like the waitress, you have to have self-esteem, but to get self-esteem you have to have experience talking to a girl like her and being confident in your ability to attract a girl like her.

No. Self-esteem is not something that is earned through experience.

It is something you hold inside yourself. Your validation and acceptance cannot come from other people. It must come from within first.

I can get shot down, rejected, yelled at, bullied, whatever. None of that can affect me negatively. Because my validation comes from within.

Having female praise is good, but does not define me.

I already know who I am and what I am.

You must discover yourself first, and start reshaping your beliefs. And start making lifestyle changes.

Wisely choose your friends. By having a good set of friends you will dramatically improve your social life. Which will in turn make your life a lot easier.

 

[PrinceBeavis]

You must discover yourself first, and start reshaping your beliefs. And start making lifestyle changes.

Ditto, Bingo, and Amen.

 

[JackBauer24]

Other than my looks and not getting women, I wouldn't change a thing about my life or lifestyle. The only thing a reclusive lifestyle doesn't offer me (other than the fact that I'm not going to wake up one morning and look like Tom Brady) is attractive women. You have to at least leave the house to meet women, and chances are, put in a few token social dates to get sex.

 

[Evolution]

Other than my looks and not getting women, I wouldn't change a thing about my life or lifestyle. The only thing a reclusive lifestyle doesn't offer me (other than the fact that I'm not going to wake up one morning and look like Tom Brady) is attractive women. You have to at least leave the house to meet women, and chances are, put in a few token social dates to get sex.

I wish it was that simple for me. I wish I could have learned a few things online, say a few things, do a few fancy techniques and have sex with a woman. Then return to my old habits, mediocre life.

I wish it was really that simple.

Its possible that your lifestyle is getting in the way and even preventing you from having beautiful women in your life.

It took me a whole year of constant change and improvement to get me to where I'm today.

Its not something that happens overnight, there is no magic pill.

You have to give up something in order to grow.

If you aren't willing to overhaul your lifestyle, and beliefs.

Then you aren't ready. To have the women you want into your life.