Interesting situation

[becker]

Ok, so this girl that I went out with a few weeks ago seemed to be sort of into me, but we had sort of a weird telephone conversation a while back, and I decided not to call her again for a while. The IL seemed to be pretty low, but at the same time, I wasn't particularly interested in this girl romantically either. She was a fun gal, however, to be around, and I'd love to keep her as a friend. She has a bunch of guy friends, which I don't have a problem with at all.

Anyways, I called her today, left her a voice mail. I didn't expect her to call me back, but she did. Told me she was out with a guy friend who she said was like her "best friend". Anyways, I sort of kept it short, chatted and asked her how things were, and we cut it off. I said see ya, and she said I'll talk to you later and something else which I didn't quite catch.

My intuition says not to call her tomorrow. I may call her in a few days or so. What do you guys think?

Normally, I'm thinking that if a girl does not want anything to do with you, she wouldn't call back at all. She called back, so I figure at least she's game to be friends, which is cool with me. Good social proof this girl is. I just don't want things to get too serious or make her feel that I'm trying to get into anything with her, because it's so hard to LJBF this girl because she might be interested in me, and if I hurt her feelings, I may not be able to be friends with her, which would suck.

 

[TheSplat]

Yeah, just call her in a few days.

 

[Wiesman44]

If you just want to be friends with her, then why are you treating this like you want to 'hit it' ? And if you really want to get in her pants, show her you are interested ! you said before that you have a little romantic feelings for her, so why stress it ? Figure out what you want from this, and then approach the situation appropriately.

 

[jb92563]

Be like her GFs

Just act like her girl friends would if you just want to be friends.
Call her the next day or so....its not important so why worry about timing.

You may inadvertantly be attracting her if you play it the DJ way and wait longer to create that challenge for her.

You should also be physical with her like a buddy, no tender touches.....just toss her around like a guy.

No nervous looks or talks...just blurt out whats on your mind and dont plan it....if she detects nervousness it will make her think you want more.

I never had a sister, so I relate to that by just treating her like I would a guy.....no sitting next to her...do it across from her etc.

She will likely be confused about her own feelings about you though, but just dont let it go anywhere you dont want...your in control....and if she attacks you and tries to kiss you....put her in a head lock immediately and rough house with her.....then she will understand she is just one of the guys...and thats all.

If you falter even once and kiss her.....its all ruined, and she will hate you for rejecting her....so just dont acknowledge any intimate behavior, should it occur.....and it probably will until she gets the message.

 

[becker]

Originally posted by Wiesman44
If you just want to be friends with her, then why are you treating this like you want to 'hit it' ? And if you really want to get in her pants, show her you are interested ! you said before that you have a little romantic feelings for her, so why stress it ? Figure out what you want from this, and then approach the situation appropriately.

I think that what it is about this girl is that I'm not sure if I like her in that way because she isn't exactly what I'm looking for. However, there are so many cool things about her. I don't feel she's looking for anything serious though, and if I go for her in a romantic way, the danger is that if she rejects me, we won't be able to be friends. I'll need to hang with her more just to get a feel for what she might be looking for. That's the difficult part of this situation. I figure the only way to do that is to tell her this is nothing serious, just to keep her guard down, and if we hang out more, and something happens, it happens, and if not, then we'll be friends.

I've never been in a situation like this before, because usually I won't care if I'm not friends with a girl, but this girl is just a cool gal who I'd like to hang with regardless of what type of relationship we have. The hard part is that with women, if you do stuff with her 1 on 1, then it seems like you're dating, which may not be what she wants.