Interesting Situation...

[Dude_man123]

Hey everyone I am sort of a AFC guy, but I am working on it. I need some help here, not even sure where I screwed up.

I've known this chick for a while at work. She's not the best looking girl... but ya know, shes alright. (Don't care what anyone thinks about this part) but a lot of guys like her/seem attracted to her.

Anyway, its a tough situation to explain. I work at fast food restaurant. We are both cashiers. She always sends me mixed signals, like, she won't say that she likes me, or is attracted (what girl does?) but she flirts a lot. She'll grab my hand and write "I love [her name]" or something like that on it. Things like that... I'll make sexual references and whatnot, and she plays along. But then other times she says stuff like "Your not ready yet." That really hurts my game, and I am not sure why she says that. I turned it into a joke, like if she asks me to do something (its a job, we got to work together) I'll say "But [her name] I'm not ready yet..." or I'll even throw it back at her.

A few weeks ago we got into an argument. She was messing around, calling me gay. I got tired of it and showed her up in front of everyone, making her almost cry. For some stupid reason I apologized (kicked myself a second later, but couldn't do anything after that...) Basically, I took no crap from her, and made her look bad in front of everyone. Long story short, I was really mean, I really did feel bad, cause I knew I had hurt her feelings/made her mad, and stupidly apologized, when I shouldn't have.

So then, last night, we have been on better terms lately. By the end of the night we were flirting a lot, lots of Kino... and its been like this the past few days. We were grabbing each others butts and stuff, you know, playing around. At one point I came up behind her, leaned against the counter and pulled her into me.. put my crotch near her butt and started rubbing her, near her stomach working up to her breasts, and she was smiling, but a co-worker saw us (ill call him billy) billy likes her as well, but he has a GF. Don't think this chick really likes him though, but not 100% sure.

Anyway, we stopped for that moment, and continued playing again as the night continued. After work I was joking about following her home. And she was like, nah, I am going to follow you home. I was like, ok, but then I turned around ran up to her and was like "Nah, lets just do it right now!" and started to unbutton her uniform (she had another shirt underneath. I started at the top and she put her hand over it and said "Im not doing that in public!" and I said, "Were not in public! Its nighttime in an empty parking lot!" then I started to unbutton from the middle, and she let me. She said "Yeah, but what if Billy is watching, or the boss sees us?" And I was like "Maybe they should watch, they might learn a thing or two" and she was like "yeah right" so I had unbuttoned her shirt mostly, and started to put my hands under her shirt and felt her stomach (she was smiling) we said something else and I realized I had better stop because if we get caught we would get fired. She said she would follow me home, jokingly. So I was like, ok. Got in my car and she was saying "hurry up! Run!" so she followed me up to the turn for my house and continued to her house.

I knew she wasn't going to go all the way, but it was cool. I got home around 10:30 pm, she txts me at 11:30 pm

Her: Hey, you awake?
Me: yeah, whats up?
her: nothing couldn't sleep.
Me: thats a problem. what do you want me to do about it?
her: nothing like that. haha.

--we keep txting, can't remember... but soon after she says---

her: what if billy tells the boss what he saw and we can't work together anymore?
me: He's jealous. I don't care what he thinks. Why do you think he would do that anyway?
her: because thats something he would do. I dont care either.
---more idle chat, nothing important---
her: so... you were a little touchy feely tonight huh?
me: u like?
her: It was weird because we were at work, but i didn't mind.
me: yeah, work isn't the best place for that, but I dont see you anywhere except there. might as well have fun while we are there.
her: I dont think the bosses would like that too much. are you saying you want to see me outside of work?
me: why [insert name], are you trying to get me to ask you out?
her: no, lol. I couldn't date you because we work together and it would be weird.
me: so what I went out with [other chick who works there]
her: yeah, but did you do anything...
her: you don't have to answer that
me: I wasn't going to. all I am saying is we had more fun outside of work.
her: what are you hinting at, lol?
me: hmm-what do you want? I think you know.
--- she doesn't reply... by then its like, 1:30 am
next morning, phone beeps at 10:30 am
her: sorry I fell asleep. what do you want?
me: hey! you woke me up! what? oh yeah.. uh, I just want to have a good time.
her: your sleeping?
me: no, im awake, now. too bad I was sleeping alone.
her: I just woke up too, but I was sleeping with my puppy.
me: you never answered my question.
her: i'll copy you, I just want to have a good time.
me: awesome! ill pick you up later today.
her: I'll see because I have to [lists stuff she has to do...]
me: nah, I meant around 8pm. ill call you first. I have things to do-- walmart, hanging out with best friend.. etc...
her: ok lol


so i do what i said. hang with my best friend. told him about her. around, 7:45 I take off, find her house, took me a while (i was just guessing where she lived, and found her car...) i call her. nothing. wait a few mins. 8:00 goes by... call again. nothing. I drive away... feeling humiliated. I pull into a church parking lot, txt my friend, saying 'crap, i got screwed. she won't answer her phone.' I txt her saying whats up?

By then, im thinking- crap, I got screwed. everyone at work is going to hear this and laugh at me now... i mean, yeah... its like revenge for showing her up that one time. My friend was like, 'that wrong man. you hungry? lets go to where you work and get some food'

Genius! All I have to do is go down there, its only 8:10, with my friend, and hang with him for a while. We had been hanging all day, so no matter what she says, Im clear...

Im driving back to his house, fast... and see him on a skateboard, he grabs the back of my car and i speed up down to the place, where everyone who was working there was looking out the window laughing. we had a blast... memorable... great! so now everyone knows I was hanging with him the whole time. Exactly what I needed... I made sure to mention we went to the movies and stuff... then they ALL saw us come in, I laughed when I saw them up against the windows laughing... it was great!

Next up, to cover myself more, she finally txts me back.
her:sorry I was talking to my mom, whats up?
me:Chilling with my friend, we went to eat at [name of restaurant] it was cool because he skateboarded down the road holding on to the back of my car.
her: oh cool
me: out of curiosity: did you really want to go out tonight?
her: I do, but I can't tonight.
me: haha, I was joking anyway!
her: oh. well, last night I wasn't really thinking about going out with you, but i will except not on a date, but as friends.


I never replied.

Anyway, I think I covered my back, unless she saw my car outside her house, which then she'll know im lying, and that would suck. But screw it, I can't let her humiliate me.

What im thinking I should do is either ignore her, and when she asks why, just say something like

"I was thinking about everything and realized that if I had been serious about going out with you, you would have screwed me by not telling me you weren't going..." (cause thats what happened!)

Or... play with the whole friends deal.

Or... flirt and act like it never happened.

I can't get away from her, cause we work together.

I don't know how this happened though... its weird. It has to have something to do with her saying im not ready yet (for sex). I need to fix this, cause she was going up to other chicks and saying "do you think hes ready yet??" And they would say no. If lots of people say this, then maybe I am giving off some kinda bad signal. This has to be fixed, fast.

Thanks...

 

[Bible_Belt]

I don't know how this happened though

You were too available and too eager. She panicked at the last minute, because she felt like a slvt. You were all push and no pull. After you scored a little in the parking lot, you should have pulled away. Ignore her a little and don't be her text-buddy. Make her wonder if you like her.

Don't be her "friend" whatever you do. You can refer to her as a friend in conversation, but don't do the pathetic little friend-dates that are the hallmark of the afc. Ignore her and act like nothing happened, because that is what she will do to you. If you want her to be interested in you, after ignoring her completely, let her see you with another girl, but not a coworker. Bring some random chick to the place while she is working, maybe a few different girls a few different times. By then you will have forgotten about her, and she will want you again. Don't screw it up next time. Use push-pull and keep her guessing.

 

[Max Power]

Attention Ho

 

[Dude_man123]

I think your both right. She can be an attention ho. I just wanted to see if I could pull this off.

And yeah, now that I think about it, I should have never answered her texts, especially not that late at night. Crap.

So what if she brings up going out again? Since she has said about being friends.. it won't be a real date.

 

[Max Power]

You have to make it clear that you have enough friends and have no interest in ever being just friends with her. Otherwise you'll be in the Friendzone foreva.

 

[Interceptor]

You have to make it clear that you have enough friends and have no interest in ever being just friends with her. Otherwise you'll be in the Friendzone foreva.

Say "NO" to "just friends".
This is non negotiable.
Don't fall into that trap.
Don't give in. Hold your ground on this one.

 

[Gangster Of Love]

Plant a kiss on her and you'll find out everything you need to know by her reaction.

 

[The Forms]

This girl doesn't know WHAT she wants. She'll go along with whatever you do. If you take control of the relationship you can take it wherever you want.

She's a little scared about the whole thing, and that's where the whole, "just as friends" thing comes from. But let her know you don't want to do that and she'll probably flip without any hassle.

She was receptive when you had the confidence to try to hook up with her. She backed off when you got wishy washy.

And remember, you can lose this job. You sound like you're in high school, and I'm sure you can get a job at any other fast food joint in town you want. This is one of the few times in your life you can get fired and it's no big deal. So don't worry about that part.

 

[Dude_man123]

Well, She is in highschool, I've graduated, and im going to a community college. This isn't the first chick I have gotten with at this place. I am not worried about it all...

I mean, I don't know, I've been lucky so far... they havn't caught me doing "stuff" to a chick... but a few customers have commented about us "playing." Like I said, I really don't care.

Anyway, saw her while the shifts changed today, you guys were right... acted like nothing happened. I just walked in, like I always do, walked over to one of my guy friends, started talking, she was there, came up, started looking at me, I looked back, looked at him again, and saw she kept looking at me. I just played it cool and acted like nothing had ever happened. She spoke to me, but very little, and she left cause she was getting off work. I didn't really have anything to say to her... so yeah... No one there knows about anything between us yet (which is good...)

She's going on vacation soon, so I won't see her till next week, then it all depends on the schedule...

I am just not sure if she is really interested in this one or not. It's either- she's interested and won't admit it, or she just wants physical attention at work...

But now I have to wait to find out. I haven't called her, and she hasn't called me. IDK. I'll have another chance, I am sure.

 

[Max Power]

This isn't the first chick I have gotten with at this place. .

Okay, so was this new chick there at the time you got with the first chick? And/or does she know about it or could she know about it?

 

[Dude_man123]

Yeah, she knows. I'll explain, but keep it simple-

These are fake names:

Jill, was the first chick. She had a boyfriend, but liked me. I was a loser AFC, and after a while, she seemed to lose a lot of interest, but then I found this site and things have changed, however, there is no point in messing with a chick that has a boyfriend. The chick I was trying to get with the other night, ill call Kim. Kim was really making a big deal about me and jill being together. In fact, she doesn't think I was wrong, she thinks jill was wrong because she should have said no. Kim would say obvious things that she didn't think I should be with Jill, and would sometimes comment that I liked jill better than her. When things didn't work out, because jill had a BF, and I was a loser AFC, Kim wanted to know some details, I stupidly told her some minor stuff, and she was just reallllllyyyy interested in the situation and commented that maybe I should find a single chick. Kim is single by the way. She's also commented that I should "try her out."

Like I said, this chick is full of mixed signals. But yeah, she probably doesn't know what she wants. I wonder if me being a loser with the other chick has impacted this situation, however, before I hit it off with jill, kim didn't want anything to do with me. jill is, btw, very hot and all the guys dig her. Kim, knows this as well... which gives me a bonus that a girl, hot, that has guys falling over her with a boyfriend would go out with me. Whenever I talk about me and Jill, kim gets very quiet. I still liked her, but now I am over her. We never 'broke up' and we always insist that nothing happened because she has a boyfriend... nothing bad really happened between us, besides..... my heart splitting in half, haha. Feels dumb now, that I am over it, and less AFC.

Besides, Kim would be the better choice because she is single. Jill still seems to like me sometimes though, even though I was a loser AFC. She was talking about how good I looked earlier tonight and practically begging for my attention. Man... what a predicament. How come the chick with the boyfriend likes me a lot, and the chick without one is being difficult?! Haha. Life-- it sucks sometimes.

 

[Max Power]

Yeah, well Jill is your social proof and there is no doubt that if you play it right you can nail this Kim chick. Just stay somewhat aloof like you did today and push and pull like Bible recommended.

 

[NickBe]

Damn man all that trouble for a girl you try to prove you were with a friend. I cringed at this part:

me: out of curiosity: did you really want to go out tonight?
her: I do, but I can't tonight.
me: haha, I was joking anyway!

You shouldn't have said that it makes you look like an idiot. You sound like a kid though, you have a lot to learn.

 

[Dude_man123]

Damn man all that trouble for a girl you try to prove you were with a friend. I cringed at this part:

________

You shouldn't have said that it makes you look like an idiot. You sound like a kid though, you have a lot to learn.

Nah, you missed the point-- I was trying to get with the girl-- she bailed on me last second. I was hanging with my friend, then I left to pick her up and go out, but she bailed. So I went back and hung with my friend as cover. If people at work found out that she did that to me I would have hell to pay (trust me, like you said, I sound like a kid... well.. they ARE kids)

I told her I was joking cause she bailed, but she never knew I really tried to pick her up... it was to cover myself. I don't know, she might have (and probably did) see through that, but I don't know.

But you are right- I have a LOT to learn. I'll be 19 on Sunday. I know I am young and inexperienced, thats why I am trying to get someone else's point of view, that knows what they are talking about. It all happens so fast, and I have rely on my gut to figure out what to do next when unexpected things happen.

So- another question. When the chick asks why I am not paying attention to her (cause I'll be ignoring her) usually, they say "What's wrong?" things like that... cause I am not acting my normal flirtatious self around them... what am I supposed to say? I've said "nothings wrong" but they obviously know somethings up. How can I respond to this?

 

[NickBe]

She did see right through it man, next time don't say you were joking. Also don't apologize for making her cry if she had it coming.

As for your other question I would say something like "what makes you think something is wrong?" or something like that

 

[Dude_man123]

Crap, screw it. I just got a text from her saying "hey where u at, I can't let u go"

The heck? Immature as hell. We haven't spoken, and shes at work right now. Blah, I am just going to stay cool and act like nothing happened, even if/when people bring it up. Humiliating as hell though...

 

[Dude_man123]

Ok, Ok. I was totally wrong in that above post. Later that day I went down to the restaurant with a friend, (I never replied to her message) and she was there. She was like "I was driving to my house while I was on break (she does this every day) and I thought I saw you so I txted you."

Oh. Ok, well, I was wrong.. again. Blah, lesson learned, don't be a moron and always make sure before jumping to assumptions. I guess this can be applied to anything.

Ok, I never replied back her yet because she went on vacation the next day, and I will see her THIS friday. I work with her, and two other girls.

My thoughts:
-Completely ignore her and see what she does. I am worried if I do this it will prove her right about things being "weird" if we dated.

Next, when she asks me whats up with me not paying her any attention, I will "tell her later." LATER- I will ask her to go somewhere private with me, sorta, and she probably will. Tell her to close her eyes, kiss her, and then say "I have enough friends" and just leave. Not sure about that though... but I think it will convey the message.

OR

-Start a little kino, get her back in the mood like she was... except this time, push and pull a little. Kino right away, stop for an hour, maybe mess with the other chicks, if she returns it, kino some more.

When shes in the mood, I'll mess with her like before, kiss her, and tell her that I already have enough friends, and walk away.


----

Ok, as for right now, she back from vacation, she txted me about 20 mins ago, asking if "something had happened at work" because some stuff did happen, and she wanted details.

I said "What, no hello or how are you? Whats up with that? How rude!" (NOTE: Its sorta rude, like shes just using me for the info here... so I wanted to make it known that shes not going to do that...)

She said "Yeah, well, you haven't spoken to me either, and I've been through hell lately" (NOTE: She's trying to justify it, because I never txted her back, or checked on her while she was gone, but why should I have?)

ME: True, but i am not txting questions- besides id rather talk not txt. Call me. (NOTE: I shouldn't have said true, agreeing with her... but oh well. Plus, I am trying to get out of the txting thing.)

HER: I'll call when I get home. (NOTE: Not sure what to think about this...)

--- I decided to leave it at that and wait ---

So, I am typing this while waiting for her to call, and I'll see whats up. Truthfully, I won't be surprised if she doesn't call, but, whatever. I normally stay up till around 2 AM anyway... so, its 11:30 now.

---ok---

She called around 12. I'm up till 2, so it doesn't matter to me. We talked for about 15 mins. Im kinda scared it was just "friend" talk. Idk... my signal was dying and there were a few of those pauses, mainly because I couldn't hear right, so I just told her my signal was going bad, and I was going to go. But we joked a little, and laughed, so, it wasn't all bad.

I'll see how things go Friday in person. Hmm, but things are kinda bad for her right now, so, I am not even sure if its a good time to do all of this...

 

[Dude_man123]

Ok, so tonight I went to the restaurant to get some food and speak to my boss. She was working tonight.
Anyway, she played around a lot, like when handing me my food, she kinda would start to hand it to me, then I would reach for it, and she would pull away, you know, playing around. Which was cool.

Later she asked me to walk her outside so she could take out the trash (i've done this with her before, and of course, we played around outside) except, this time, I decided not to, and straight up said no, just because I don't want to be a loser who "walks her outside" when she asks me to. Then my boss started speaking to me, and she waited like, five minutes or so to take out the trash, until finally she asked this other guy to walk her out there (even though its usually me) and he happily agreed. Ok, whatever, I don't care. He was to quick to please her.

She walks by me later while I am talking to some people and hits me in the butt with a broom, laughs and says "oops, the broom did it." She walked away and started sweeping. I thought, maybe I should ignore her, but decided that I didn't mind her hitting my butt, so I walked up to her, and shoved my crotch near her vagina and said "oops my penis did it" and she laughed and I walked away. I spoke to the other people for the rest of the night.

So I don't know, I have been reading that a lot of people say to just forget about a chick who says that you should be friends. She didn't say that exactly though, she said we would go out as friends. I have also read however, that a lot of chicks want to start relationships as friends... the problem is that they keep them that way.

I really want to try and turn this around, boost her attraction and go out with her, its like a challenge (I know how chicks feel now! HAHA)

Its aggravating at the same time because she sexually flirts with me and stuff, but I feel like I could get stuck in the friends zone.

Another Question: If I sexually flirt with her a lot (EX: grab her butt, feel on her... etc...) she can't possibly think of me as a friend that does that, can she? Thats more like a sexual threat... but I could be totally wrong. I'll post back tomorrow if I can plant that kiss or make ANY kind of progress at all.

I think I have decided to just ignore her and flirt with the other chicks right now. Live it up, yet ignore her flirts. Maybe she will wonder why... and when she asks, I could plant the kiss, and just tell her I don't want to be friends, or just avoid the question and ignore her longer. I'll have to follow my gut on this one- I don't have her yet, and I guess I can't lose her if I don't have her, so I have nothing to lose on this one.

BTW- if it helps any- shes almost 17, and I just turned 19. Not sure if age is a big deal on this one though.

 

[On Point]

This chick is all over the place and I think part of your initial waffling probably amped that, but it doesn't seem like a lost cause. If I were you I'd distance yourself from her emotionally, just keep playing it like a game and try to get other women. Keep up the kino and flirting and just enjoy the roller coaster ride.