First of all, I would like to tell all the members of this forum on what a great job they are doing. I have been reading this forum for quite a while now and it has done a great job for me.
As for my interesting situation, there was a girl in college that became a very good friend of mine. Lets call her Stacy. About two years down the road, I started liking her and the automatic AFC stuff kinda started happening. Then one day she asks whether I liked her in a romantic sense. I say yes (I know it was stupid). Then she says "I don't know what to say, you are one of my best friends." Then the AFC stuff started getting pretty intense. I feel like a big goofball when I think about that. All this time however, she was always told by her sister that I am a good guy and that Stacy should be dating me.
Then she left for the summer and I felt miserable. I came upon SoSuave at that time and learned about the C/F approaches and learned that your personal happiness should not be tied to that one girl. I started internalizing all these principles and worked really well for me. I could get the attention of any hot woman now, and I did.
When school started, I was less available to Stacy and stopped the AFC stuff completely. I'm sure she was confused by all this. She started saying stuff like you have changed. I used to say, people change all the time. At that time I found a really cute blond that I started dating and I used to tell Stacy what we did. About four months after that she left the state and somehow she found out the girl had some mental issues. I get a phone call from my friend one day, when she is at work and tells me that the blond has issues and what not. I took it really calmly and went about my business.
Stacy had a new boyfriend at this time and I broke up with the blond and later started dating a cute brunette from my art class. She was perfect. I used to tell my friend a lot of things about this brunette about how great she is and all that jazz. But the brunette wanted us to be exclusive, and because that was not what I wanted I broke off our relationship.
A few week back, my friend and I were talking about random stuff on IM and she suddenly says, "I miss you so much". I started giving C/F answers. Then she goes, "Do you think we should be together, because we understand each other so well?". Then she continues, "But I don't feel a romantic attraction to you." Keep in mind that I had not even hinted anything like that, we were not even talking about anything even remotely relating to relationships, and I was busy giving my C/F answers.
What do you think this means? I'm not into her but I'm just curious. Why do you think she brought up the topic when she has a boyfriend?
Any suggestions on how to proceed further. She is a great gal and I can see my self being very happy in a relationship with her if this can work.
PS: I forgot to add. She even went as far as saying, "When I think of you in a relationship with someone, I just think they are stealing you from me." Again this is when she still has a boyfriend.
As for my interesting situation, there was a girl in college that became a very good friend of mine. Lets call her Stacy. About two years down the road, I started liking her and the automatic AFC stuff kinda started happening. Then one day she asks whether I liked her in a romantic sense. I say yes (I know it was stupid). Then she says "I don't know what to say, you are one of my best friends." Then the AFC stuff started getting pretty intense. I feel like a big goofball when I think about that. All this time however, she was always told by her sister that I am a good guy and that Stacy should be dating me.
Then she left for the summer and I felt miserable. I came upon SoSuave at that time and learned about the C/F approaches and learned that your personal happiness should not be tied to that one girl. I started internalizing all these principles and worked really well for me. I could get the attention of any hot woman now, and I did.
When school started, I was less available to Stacy and stopped the AFC stuff completely. I'm sure she was confused by all this. She started saying stuff like you have changed. I used to say, people change all the time. At that time I found a really cute blond that I started dating and I used to tell Stacy what we did. About four months after that she left the state and somehow she found out the girl had some mental issues. I get a phone call from my friend one day, when she is at work and tells me that the blond has issues and what not. I took it really calmly and went about my business.
Stacy had a new boyfriend at this time and I broke up with the blond and later started dating a cute brunette from my art class. She was perfect. I used to tell my friend a lot of things about this brunette about how great she is and all that jazz. But the brunette wanted us to be exclusive, and because that was not what I wanted I broke off our relationship.
A few week back, my friend and I were talking about random stuff on IM and she suddenly says, "I miss you so much". I started giving C/F answers. Then she goes, "Do you think we should be together, because we understand each other so well?". Then she continues, "But I don't feel a romantic attraction to you." Keep in mind that I had not even hinted anything like that, we were not even talking about anything even remotely relating to relationships, and I was busy giving my C/F answers.
What do you think this means? I'm not into her but I'm just curious. Why do you think she brought up the topic when she has a boyfriend?
Any suggestions on how to proceed further. She is a great gal and I can see my self being very happy in a relationship with her if this can work.
PS: I forgot to add. She even went as far as saying, "When I think of you in a relationship with someone, I just think they are stealing you from me." Again this is when she still has a boyfriend.
