"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"

You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.

For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.

Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.

The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.

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Interesting Night

Ollie

Don Juan
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So I've been seeing this girl for about a month. We've been out five times or so. At the beginning the interest level was through the roof on both of our parts, but as things tend to do it's been slowing down a lot recently. It was over a week since we hung out...tried to a few times but we're both busy people so it hasn't worked out.

So I pick her up and she's acting all *****y. "Where are we going?" "I don't want to go to downtown Huntington, I just went there last night." "I went to Newport last night too...it was boring." Blah blah blah so on and so forth.

Long story short I acted really detached and apathetic all night and showed absolutely no interest at all. She put her arm around me and leaned in to kiss me and I turned away and started talking to the girl sitting next to me at the bar. I mean I was blatantly not showing interest. I didn't even look at her for most of the night.

So we're driving back to her place and she asks if I want to go in when we get to her apartment. I said "Not really. I'm just gonna go home." So she started touching me in places that guys like to be touched and asked me again. I said no again, but when we got there I ended up going in obviously haha. Here's the weird part. She takes off all her clothes and tells me to do the same. I was gonna go down on her, but she said "No just fvck me." So I did. Now I'm trying to get into a rhythm and find her spot since she's hard to get off, and she says "What's taking you so long. Just finish." So I started going really fast and hard and finished in like two minutes. Then she's like "Ok I'll walk you to the door."

I mean seriously? She begs me to come in after I blew her off all night, then just wants me to finish without paying any attention to her, then pretty much kicks me out. She's already called me and texted me today but I haven't answered. What do you guys make of that? I mean in a way it's the perfect ending to a boring night...a girl just letting me use her body to get off then walking me to the door without any emo crap. But it didn't seem normal to me.
 

"She Laughed All Night. Then She Ghosted You. Here's Why."

Dinner ran three hours. She laughed at everything. You walked her to her car thinking this one's locked in.

Then: nothing. Two texts. No reply. What happened?

You did what most men do on a great date. You filled every silence, answered every question, and left her with nothing to wonder about. No mystery. Nothing to sit with when she got home.

Rule 3 of the "22 Rules" changes the ending: tell her a little, hold back the rest, and let her imagination do the chasing. The ghosting stops too.

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dbot

Master Don Juan
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I was over at Joe's Crab Shack in Newport last night with a regular. I don't know why, but she was being extremely obnoxious and making comments to me that were relatively uncalled for. So I told her she could walk home, and left her there. Never put up with a girl's shit. If she seems a little off, tell her to go fuck herself.
 

Ollie

Don Juan
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Haha while I was driving by Joe's she was complaining about my taking a girl to the Rusty pelican the other night...I told her about it a couple days ago and how much fun I had and she complained and asked why I never take her anywhere like that...haha she said it didn't bother her but she's brought it up like 10 times. She was being obnoxious too but she lives in huntington so I couldn't really just leave her there. I guess she could have taken a cab or something though. We were all the way down in Dana Point
 

dap

Senior Don Juan
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Durham Cali
You acted detached all night, so she was probably just seeing if she could still get you to do what she wanted (she did). It sounds like she didn't really want you physically, more just wanted to force you to acknowledge her. It worked and you both left happy. Props on not returning the texts yet.
 
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