interesting experience with "b!tch shield"

[SoCalMike]

On Saturday a friend and I went to a popular bar. Lots of attractive ladies in there that night. One in particular caught my eye... we made eye contact for several seconds, she smiled, I smiled back.

She was close enough so that I could talk to her, so I asked her about a tattoo she had on her leg. My exact words were "I'm trying to see what your tattoo is" - it was excuse for her to lift her skirt a bit (it was on her thigh) it was also a good way to initiate some kino... you can lightly touch it as you look at it, saying something cheesy like "wow, nice color" or whatever. LOL

Her response was "way to turn a complement into an insult". I'm guessing she took my words to mean "I'm not interested or attracted to you you, just want to know what your tattoo is". There were plenty of other hotties around so I didn't bother with this one anymore, and was rather irritated at her attitude.

Now, it could be argued I didn't handle this situation well, perhaps I should have opened with something else. Fair enough. But still, the response shows classic "b!tch shield" behaviour... which IMO just means "I have issues".

Figured I share this with the board so we can learn from it, or just discuss it as an interesting case.

How would you have handled this? Keep trying, or move on as I did?

 

[jophil28]

Her response was "way to turn a complement into an insult". I'm guessing she took my words to mean "I'm not interested or attracted to you you, just want to know what your tattoo is". There were plenty of other hotties around so I didn't bother with this one anymore, and was rather irritated at her attitude.

Stupid baitch !
YOu did the best thing...
Smart thing to do ...move on to someone who appreciates your presence.

 

[Mr. Me]

If she thought THAT was insulting, then thank your lucky stars you're man enough to end things with her at that point. I met a girl with a sea shell tattooed on her leg and I said, "if I put my ear next to it, will I smell the ocean? And she was insulted! I'm just kidding, that never happened.

 

[christopher09]

i dont know, i think i would've had to know what the hell she actually meant. I might have said "ahhh you had a great day today huh (laughing)? So what's that supposed to mean?". Good chance she is just being a btch tho, but i would have to call her out on her blabber.

 

[STR8UP]

I was out Saturday night with some friends, and I was talking privately (well, as privately as you can in a BAR) with a buddy of mine I went to h/s with. I told him my birthday was coming up, and asked him how old he was.

Some chick hears what I said walks by and makes a comment.

I didn't understand her at first, so I asked her to repeat herself. She says "82". I just gave her a look as she walked past and forgot about it.

Later on I started thinking about how RUDE it was to say something like that. I mean, my buddy is only 38, and he doesn't look old or anything. Even if he did....that kind of comment is uncalled for, especially unsolicited, without a follow up "I'm just kidding" or whatever. And this dude has a hot 20 something Costa Rican g/f, so it isn't like he's desperate to hook up with some bar trash that thinks she's cute....

I guess earlier in the night my business partner and another guy I know were talking to some chicks, the other guy tells the girl he is talking to, "Hey bring your friend over here, I want to introduce you to Criss Angel (my business partner has longer hair). To which the chick replies "What, do you think I'm STUPID?"

My business partner says, "Well, you ARE blonde." and walked away.

Priceless.

Just goes to show how uptight some of these American women can be. Eh....there's enough of them out there who AREN'T, so why sweat it?

 

[SoCalMike]

STR8UP,

I think a lot of the bar girls are bitter about something, then they get some alcohol in them and this is the result.

Oh, another thing that was said to me, which I didn't understand.... I was sitting at the bar, having a beer, a girl walks past, slaps me on the shouldar and says "put your shirt on inside out". As in, a command to do it, not just letting me know it was inside out (because it wasn't obviously)

So, WTF is that? Maybe something to do with my tats? I have full sleeves, literally no un-inked skin showing at all on my arms.

 

[christopher09]

if she was being funny about it, as in a witty comment then maybe she was making a come on to you. otherwise, if she had a neg tone or you could tell she was being rude, you couldve said.."as soon as you turn your face inside out, ill get right on my shirt". I cant stand girls that are rude, i tend to let them know they are a dime a dozen. lol You encounter that more often at bars, i mostly ask girls out in other public areas..anywhere..gas station, gym, stores, anywhere on this earth. Honestly, the last place i would look is a bar...

well with the exception of a BPD/HPD clinic....

 

[STR8UP]

Some of the guys here get in a tizzy thinking I am defending or excusing the fact that a woman might act like a b!tch, but nothing could be further from the truth.

There is a difference between a woman being an outright RUDE b!tch, and a woman who is unaccommodating to your advances.

In these cases, it's nothing more than women having a b!tchy, entitlement attitude. What gives a chick the right to insult someone? Nothing.

I don't even really think what you experienced was a b!tch shield. it sounds more like she was only hearing what she wanted to hear because she was having a bad day or something, not because she was trying to get rid of you.

Of course, alcohol is the great social lubricant. You are a lot more likely to say whats on your mind after a few drinks. It really just makes you more of what you already are. If you are a rude beeyotch....you're gonna be an obnoxious rude beeyotch.

I don't know if they are necessarily bitter. I would think they simply have some liquid courage running through their veins that when coupled with an entitlement attitude allows them to say stupid sh!t.

Fukk these cvnts. I know a ton of women and the vast majority of them aren't like this.

 

[SoCalMike]

Fukk these cvnts. I know a ton of women and the vast majority of them aren't like this.

Agreed. Bars tend to bring out the worst types of b*tchy girls. I think in the general population you won't find as many.

 

[Juando]

"Oh, honey, you didn't give us a chance- you show me yours, I show you MINE, and then we'll see about compliments..." wink and walk away.

 

[Rollo Tomassi]

On Saturday a friend and I went to a popular bar. Lots of attractive ladies in there that night.

Competitive environment. Masks on, shields up.

One in particular caught my eye... we made eye contact for several seconds, she smiled, I smiled back.

IOI, you acknowledge and engage.

I asked her about a tattoo she had on her leg. My exact words were "I'm trying to see what your tattoo is"

Her response was "way to turn a complement into an insult". I'm guessing she took my words to mean "I'm not interested or attracted to you you, just want to know what your tattoo is".

Not a b!tch shield, just a fumbled approach. You could've recovered, but if she'd had a shield going you never would've gotten the IOI. Granted, she was attention whoaring, but most attractive women would be in the environment you described. Actually she handed you a neg hit without you realizing it. You might've cooly responded with, "oh, when I compliment you you'll know it" or something to this effect.

 

[Vulpine]

My exact words were "I'm trying to see what your tattoo is"

I see her angle. It's a simple wording issue. It says you are more interested in the tattoo than her.

The whole interaction would have started differently if it was worded...

"Hi. Show me your tattoo."

People with tats get prompted to show them off a lot. She probably sat for hours coming up with, and memorizing, comebacks to her little pet peeve comments/openers.

Let the first thing you say be "Hi." ...and smile. You might have already been smiling, but smile bigger at "hi" time.

Never underestimate the power of "Hi."

Last night after work I stopped at a place on the way by for a little night cap. I walked up to the bar and made my request. Two gals that were sitting there heard what I had ordered and started to mock me from the side: "EwwwWW!" "What? That can't be good!" "Right?!! Yuck!"

I calmly turned to the two chicks and said: "Hi!"

I also smiled and looked them both in the eyes for an amount of time that HAD to be uncomfortable for them, so they understood that it was deliberate, then turned back to finish up the transaction.

Absolute silence.

Basically, despite what they thought was appropriate (heckling a stranger based on their ****tail), I showed them that I was just a friendly guy and they were completely out-of-line by, well, being b¡tches. "Hi" put them in their place: it backed them up to the "I don't know you, we should introduce ourselves" point of being social.

They sat in silence until I turned with my drink and addressed them again.

"Hi" is underrated.

 

[Colossus]

I dont see how that was construed as an insult. You asked to see her tattoo. Maybe a little forward; it would have been better to segue into it with a greeting or joke.

Either way, you're none the worse for wear

 

[STR8UP]

Another possibility here is that she might have been a little socially awkward, or simply caught off guard.

I have been in the position many times where I wasn't expecting a woman to talk to me or to say a certain thing, and the response I gave might not have been exactly eloquent, if you know what I mean.

 

[SoCalMike]

I agree with Rollo and Vulpine, it was a fumbled opener. I still feel this girl was a bit negative. What I witnessed was a defense mechanism, i.e. she has self-esteem issues and always assumes the worst about men's intentions. "He doesn't like me, he just wants to see my tattoo" is a negative frame of mind and not based on hard evidence.

So, although I should have opened with a different line, I'm not sure if this type of girl would be worth it in the long run.

Imagine if we had hit it off, and gone out on a date. I could see her interpreting my words or actions in a negative way all the time, and it would be unbearable.

 

[jophil28]

So, although I should have opened with a different line, I'm not sure if this type of girl would be worth it in the long run.

She sounds kind of " precious" to me..

Try this some time....

SoCal, " Nice tattoo. What is it exactly ? "

She, " It is an/ eagle/ spider/ butterfly ... "

SoCal, " Is that your only tattoo, you had it a while ? "

She, " Yes / no."

SoCal, " Love it , now I am going to give you my mailing address."

She, " Why ?"

SoCal, " Pretty soon you are going to be thinking about a new tattoo and I want you to peel off this one and mail it to me. "

She(wide eyed )," It is real !! " (Gives you a closer look.)

SoCal slowly rubs it to prove the point . "Hmmm. OK you're right ! What about that suntan ...it that real? "

More rubbing, kino and laughs all round.

Take it whereever you want from here.