"Blank Mind on Dates? She's Dropping Hints You Keep Missing"

The plates get cleared and the silence lands like a brick. You can feel her waiting. Your brain offers up your commute, your job, the weather — topics that have ended more second dates than bad breath.

Here's what most guys never learn: women hand out free conversational material all night long. Tiny clues about what they actually want to discuss. Catch them and you never run out of things to say — because she's telling you what to say next.

Rule 4 of the "22 Rules" trains your ear to catch every single one.

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Interesting dilemma! A bit awkward

jasonrivera

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Hi all, first post here, so I'll make it count.

I ran into this girl today (lets call her Jen) at my work place that I haven't seen for 10 years (since 4rd
grade, I'm now done with my 2nd year in college). Back in 3rd-4th grade, I lived a few apartments away from this
girl, and we'd go hang out every day after school. I was in her room once, found her diary, and proceeded to read it (hey, I was 10, and curious). Anyways, she confessed to her diary that she loved me and really liked hanging out with me (cue the 'awww'). I know, just cute puppy love. I also hung out with her older brother, who was about 3
years ahead of me, and to a much lesser extent, her younger sister. Ok, fast forward 10 years. She came in with her mom to buy some shoes, and when her mom approached me to get a shoe, needless to say, I was very surprised and shocked. I gave her the shoe, then asked her if they had lived in ______ Apts, and they confirmed it. At this point, they both recognized me, and her mom was asking me where I go to school, blah blah, while Jen, looking very shy, only asked "you're Stacy's cousin, right?". Ouch. These 5 simple words now planted a seed of doubt into my mind as to whether she even remembered me as a crush and a close friend, or just as her friend's cousin. Anyways, I got back to work, then as they were walking out, I approached Jen and asked her for her #, so that "I could drop by and catch up on things with the family". Pff, AFC, but I was nervous, and I didn't want to hit on her in front of her mom. So, wrote down her #, then she let out a little laugh (maybe nervous herself), I told em both that I'll see em, and then they left.

If you're still reading, thanks a million, now on to the question. What would you guys do at this point? Its a bit of an awkward situation for me. On one hand, I dig this girl, and I want to pursue a relationship. On another hand, I've got her whole family to catch up with. How should I play this so I dont F things up? She seems like the shy goody type, but who really knows?

So, opinions/ideas/critiques? ;)

-Jason
 

"How I Made Sure No Woman Ever Friend-Zoned Me Again"

She calls you when her car breaks down. When she needs help moving. When some guy she's actually dating treats her badly.

You're the listener. The reliable one. The guy who would treat her so much better, if she'd just open her eyes.

She won't. You trained her to see you as the low-effort option — the friend who requires zero risk and zero investment. Every favor dug the hole deeper.

The "22 Rules" break the pattern. You'll stop auditioning for a role she already cast and become the man she chases instead. It starts with Rule 1.

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Hey mate

Stop worrying about f-ing things up, invite her out for coffee/drinks or whatever it is people do where you live :). Tell her you want to catch up with her. You can catch up with the family later. I think you're just being a wuss ;)
 
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This should go fairly easy for you - she has to be at least curious about what you are like since her fond childhood memories.

She already knows you want to talk to her at not her family - so don't hide the fact. Ask her to out to a venue where you can talk about the old times and then let her know that you were children back then and now you see her with different eyes now that you are a man..
 

jasonrivera

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Yeah, I think I oughta worry about her before taking care of her family. And NaturallySelected, you're right, I AM being a wuss. :D Keep the advice flowing, guys.
 

Don_Marko

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There's nothing more to say, than these two guys above haven't touched on!

Call her up, set up a meeting, and use a lot of C&F as I'm sure you'll have a lot of material to work with.
In no time she'll be urs to boot :p
 

"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"

You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.

And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.

Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.

The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.

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Kelson

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Girls (and guys) will commonly refer to people like this when they don't want to seem extremely interested in the other person. Ignore it; if anything, it just means she's still interested in you.

And yea, just play it cool. Remember, she's the one who had the crush on you. You should take advantage of that you remember this is all just a game and have some fun with her. Enjoy :)

While you're probably right about the laugh, it is a good sign (girls laugh when happy such as when unexpected, pleasant things happen).
 

jasonrivera

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Originally posted by Kelson


And yea, just play it cool. Remember, she's the one who had the crush on you. You should take advantage of that you remember this is all just a game and have some fun with her. Enjoy :)

Just because she had a crush on me in 3rd grade doesn't necessarily mean she still digs me, now, 10 years later. ;)
 

Kelson

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Of course it doesn't, but people tend to remember those things, especially if the target disappeared from their life before they acted on it. I'm not saying she still has any feelings for you, but at very worst she'll be friendly because she remembers liking you and that helps your image in her mind. Playing it as a game increases your chances and makes it more enjoyable (if it's just a game, what do I have to lose? Why not have a bit of fun with her...) :)
 

johnnyg

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I think you should play it cool, although this is easier said than done. Although, perhaps she just gave you the # simply because you're an old friend. Might not have any other feelings for you. Anyone agree with me?
 
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