Interesting Conversation?

[theapprentice]

I believe that what you say and how you say it, are probably the most important things to have sucess with women. On top of that you have to try which means getting rejected alot of times.

But the biggest problem I have is holding a woman interest in a conversation, making her laugh, teasing her. I can't seem to be exciting with my convo, watching 5 minutes of a TV sitcom makes me realize that my witt is to be put to shame. I know thats a bit harsh, but what can I do to improve my witt?

I mean if your a boring guy, and you look good, your f*ked. Most people dont realize that its the content and the delivery of our thoughts thats so important. Lol...to be honest I don't have as much going on up there as much as I would like.

But my biggest obstacle is anxiety, when talking to a girl, I start to get nervous and adrenaline starts pumping and to the point where I can't comfortably relax. I start to become conscience of my thoughts, and thats where it starts to become a problem. I realized that anxiety messes with your head, that it decreases your brain power alot. Thats why we become bumbling fools.

What can I do, are there any exercises that can help me develop my witt, but better yet the anxiety that comes with talking to women.

I think what my anxiety stems from is desire/desperation or w/e. Everytime I see a girl that I can talk to, my thoughts run wild, telling me, "Hey dont mess your chance up"...."Be perfect"....anxiety level rises. Othertimes I dont even bother to open my mouth, because I rather be left alone and not care about women because I get mad.

There is just something about a girl talking to me or looking at me that makes my body change chemistry, anxiety shoots through the roof and all my mental training goes down the drain. I loose control of my thoughts and emotions most importantly I cant stay Ice cold calm. When I am calm, I work very well. Its just that I cant seem to keep myself calm in the presence of a woman.

 

[specialed]

try it on your friends... guy and girl friends. bust their chops, be sarcastic, call them out, etc. after a while you'll gain enough of what you should and shouldn't do...and eventually be quicker on your feet, without the worry of rejection.

 

[theapprentice]

where do I get my material from

Where do I get things to talk about or develop my witt from. Its great....one gripe I have about sosuave that everybody knows what to do, but nobody knows how to do it.

 

[Francisco d'Anconia]

Where do I get things to talk about or develop my witt from. Its great....one gripe I have about sosuave that everybody knows what to do, but nobody knows how to do it.

Best bet is to figure out what works best for your personality, no need to copy someone else's delivery. It's easier when it's your own style.

 

[theapprentice]

Hmmm

Well nobody wants a bore. I don't want to be silent in conversations or just point out the obvious while my peers can make conversation last for hours and keep it humorous.

To get things started I need to develop A style, I'm not too worried about copying any style in particular right now.

When we are having a conversation with somebody what we really are doing is selling ourselves as a product, giving them a taste of what we have to offer, so having a good personality with all the positive DJ characteristics will probably be your best asset.

I am sure that everyone agrees with what I have said, but the problem is that charisma, witt, confidence are not tangible qualities. You can't develop your witt like you would a bicep.

Sosuave has alot of techniques and ideas that we can learn, to change the way we think about ourselves. Or rather give us ideas on which to go out on our own and develop what we need.

My question comes to, what can I do to build charisma, convo skill that can make me a fun and interesting person to be around.

A list of things that I could do would be helpful.

 

[johnny_depp]

lets see im on the same boat as you also man,but I am practicing. Heres what I do, if im at work and my friends are talking about chicks, then say something about what there talking about. or if you want to be funny, think about it before you say it then say it. Example lets say your talking to a chick and you want to say something funny but before you do say it in your mind, is it funny to you? if it is say it dont be afraid. I do this and most of the time I make the chick laugh. remember some of the best comedians say stuff that sometimes just isnt funny so dont worry. just keep trying and dont give up.

 

[theapprentice]

Okay....

So does reading and listening to comedy help build a toolset?

 

[dap]

Surely there is some way that you make your friends laugh. If I were you, I would just develop that humor until you are comfortable using it on people you don't know, and later on girls you don't know.

 

[Charm&Style]

Bro, ive been in ur shoes before and know exactly what your going through. First off fixing this mess is fixing your attitude.


"But my biggest obstacle is anxiety, when talking to a girl, I start to get nervous and adrenaline starts pumping and to the point where I can't comfortably relax. I start to become conscience of my thoughts, and thats where it starts to become a problem. I realized that anxiety messes with your head, that it decreases your brain power alot. Thats why we become bumbling fools."

This happened to me often when i was trying carry on a convo with a HB. Ide begin to sweat, the HB knew i was nervous, lost interest that very second, i kept bumblin, convo got quiet.

...The best thing for me was i started to talk with the dorkiest, loserest, and fuglyest girls. I also worked up skills chatting online with random ppl. After i worked on my convo skills i became unbelievable entertaining. I was so calm, even if there was a guy who was trying to steal the spot lite ide win.

The key though is not giving a crap about perfection and just being relaxed. If you screw up, WHO CARES, theres a bijjilion other oppotunities to talk with girls, hence the saying :theres a lot of fish in the sea:.

Anyways dont try to focus your self on JUST BEING FUNNY. Thats not how your going to get laughs. Be able to laugh at what you say, and at yourself, and i be happy and i ppl will start to enjoy your company.

No one likes negative ppl, therefor be chill and happy. Say whats on your mind. Live an active life...i dont mean party every second of it, but go out on the weekends, something interesting is bond to happen to you or someone around you.

Be able to kept your audience interested, by that dont talk that much in first or third person. Get their oppinions, and some times be ****y and funny with what they say.

Its not that hard to have ppl fall in love with who you are, you just have to get it into your head that ITS NOT HARD.

As they say experience makes perfection, your body is going through those phases because its something it likes and is aroused by. Thats why its good to start low and work your way up.

People may look diff, but everyone knows what to laugh at and what not to laugh at. Even if you have looks and are dull and to cool to speak, interest levels will drop.

So again, breath, take your time, dont rush words, dont rush yourself, who gives a sh!t about being perfect, if the chick your talkin to isnt giving the type of attitude you want during a convo, blow her off and go work more on your skills.

The key to a good convo is being enthusiastic, chill, out going, and play ful. Just dont talk tooooo much, let the girl do most of the talking and you just commenting, or puting your experience.

cheers buddy, good luck, youll get flocks of chicks wanting to talk to you, just keep cool.

 

[Francisco d'Anconia]

Take an improvisation class.

 

[johnny_depp]

dude seriously go practice. =)

 

[specialed]

there are examples all over this site of things you can say in certain situations, it gives you an idea what generally what to look for when you want to say something funny or ****y...w/e

we can't tell you what to say...we're not the one on the date/approach.