"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"

You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.

Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.

Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.

Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.

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Interested or Polite Rejection?

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guitaronfire411

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It feels weird to be back on the single front.

Context: This girl and I have been talking about hanging out for the last few weeks but she was busy getting ready on a project but told me she would be free after this past weekend.

me: Are you down for some gaming soon? (snipped about gaming)
girl: Oh course! Old school video games always get my attention ;(
girl: Err not ;(
me: I was wondering lol
me: What is your availability like?
girl: I'm usually free evenings and weekends. Sometimes I work days on the weekend but am always done by 3 or 4

me: Lucky. Ha. I'm on my way to work right now but would prefer to be tinkering on projects right now!

me: Sure. I'm busy tomorrow but mid-week I am free. Tuesday evening or Wednesday I could do.

girl: Cool. I'm pretty sure I can do Wednesday. I'll know for sure tonight what my work schedule is like for the week (both RL and troupe life) so will confirm once I know. :)

me: Perfect.

~~

Have not heard back from her just yet. I know that she is a very busy person so I am going to see if she replies back before Wednesday before talking to her again.
 

"How I Made Sure No Woman Ever Friend-Zoned Me Again"

She calls you when her car breaks down. When she needs help moving. When some guy she's actually dating treats her badly.

You're the listener. The reliable one. The guy who would treat her so much better, if she'd just open her eyes.

She won't. You trained her to see you as the low-effort option — the friend who requires zero risk and zero investment. Every favor dug the hole deeper.

The "22 Rules" break the pattern. You'll stop auditioning for a role she already cast and become the man she chases instead. It starts with Rule 1.

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P

pdx1138

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Interested.

You responded last so I would leave it up to her to get back to you.
 
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betheman

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guitaronfire411 said:
It feels weird to be back on the single front.

Context: This girl and I have been talking about hanging out for the last few weeks but she was busy getting ready on a project but told me she would be free after this past weekend.

me: Are you down for some gaming soon? (snipped about gaming)
girl: Oh course! Old school video games always get my attention ;(
girl: Err not ;(
me: I was wondering lol
me: What is your availability like?
girl: I'm usually free evenings and weekends. Sometimes I work days on the weekend but am always done by 3 or 4

me: Lucky. Ha. I'm on my way to work right now but would prefer to be tinkering on projects right now!

me: Sure. I'm busy tomorrow but mid-week I am free. Tuesday evening or Wednesday I could do.

girl: Cool. I'm pretty sure I can do Wednesday. I'll know for sure tonight what my work schedule is like for the week (both RL and troupe life) so will confirm once I know. :)

me: Perfect.

~~

Have not heard back from her just yet. I know that she is a very busy person so I am going to see if she replies back before Wednesday before talking to her again.
Click to expand...
how did this convo take place? phone? f2f? or text? I suspect text.
anyway she is set up to flake, she has already given herself an out.

it really went wrong here..."me: What is your availability like?"
you should have set a date, time, venue, if she was interested she would give you a more definate or positive reponse. her current lack of response shows low interest level
 
G

guitaronfire411

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(flaking) Yeah. That's what I figured.

This was over Facebook. I know a lot of people like being single but as I get older, the more I would like some company outside of my friends and events...
 

"She Made Her Decision Before You Finished Your Sentence"

Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.

She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.

Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.

So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.

The words come later. The impression comes first.

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betheman

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older? how old are you? setting up dates over fb isnt the most effective method but it works sometimes...did for me and I dont have many friends on there ;-)
 
G

guitaronfire411

Senior Don Juan
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I'm 30, turning 31 soon. Just not into the bar/club scene and I guess that is what I hated the most about being single when I was younger.

Got dumped by my Bipolar II ex-gf mid-December. We were together for just over four years but she did all sorts of red flags. After she dumped me, she told me that she had cheated with a guy and that it was all my fault.

My mind has been pretty messed up ever since. I am surprised that I am productive at all. It has improved so I can function a little but I am still floating along, forcing myself to work and to message girls and workout.
 
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