"She Made Her Decision Before You Finished Your Sentence"

Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.

She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.

Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.

So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.

The words come later. The impression comes first.

Read more...

Interested in LTR, should I hold off on sex for now?

StrongBad

Don Juan
Joined
Apr 29, 2003
Messages
34
Reaction score
0
Location
New Jersey
Hey all,

I recently met this girl and we hit it off immediately. We hooked up the first night we met and she actually stayed over my apartment though we did not have sex.

The second night we hung out, I wasn't expecting to end up back at her place but I did. I know I could have closed the deal but was not prepared (no protection).

Here's the thing. I am quite interested in this girl as a person, and would like to get to know her more and possibly even develop a relationship if she seems to live up to my expectations. Given my past experience with ex-girlfriends, having sex too early doomed some relationships from the start because it stunted any further emotional growth afterward.

So, when I do hang out with this girl for a third time, even though I undoubtedly could have sex with her, is it wise to do so if I am entertaining the thought of a LTR? Some personal experince/advice would be awesome. Thanks!
 

"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"

You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.

Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.

Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.

Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.

Read more...

SamePendo

Master Don Juan
Joined
Jan 30, 2003
Messages
2,393
Reaction score
14
Location
At home
I say don't listen to whatever someone else tells you to do... these are one of the things that you must learn by yourself, and do not harm to do, and teach you lots and lots.

Keep going as you are.
 
Joined
Mar 18, 2006
Messages
3,956
Reaction score
37
StrongBad said:
...I am quite interested in this girl as a person, and would like to get to know her more and possibly even develop a relationship if she seems to live up to my expectations. Given my past experience with ex-girlfriends, having sex too early doomed some relationships from the start because it stunted any further emotional growth afterward.
Let me be honest here - you sound like a girl!!!! "Emotional growth"?? What!!! Girls have this dilemma - not men!!

Do men pursue women for "emotional growth"??

You want a LTR??? WHY??? All that she wants is sex and you are thinking about a LTR - huh???

Hors want sex and not your love in a LTR!!!

Dude, you are off-base!
 

StrongBad

Don Juan
Joined
Apr 29, 2003
Messages
34
Reaction score
0
Location
New Jersey
I understand where you're coming from man, but I think I am kind of growing tired of having casual relationships with 2-3, sometimes 4 different women at a time. See, I've only had 2 LTRs in my lifetime (I'm 24) and both were a good long time ago when I was still in my teens. This girl actually sparked an interest in me, something no other hors were able to do in years. Naturally, this made me curious. Why should I not pursue it? If having LTRs isn't your thing b/c of how your live your life right now, that's cool with me, but if I am curious again, especially given how much time has passed since my last, I figure why not?
 

letmeshowyou

Don Juan
Joined
Feb 13, 2006
Messages
11
Reaction score
0
Age
41
Location
Va
listen... if she'll let u hit - then hit
whats that got to do with a LTR, if she was worthy of a real relationship, she wouldn't let u smash so soon in the first place
 

"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"

You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.

For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.

Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.

The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.

Read more...

mr. joker

New Member
Joined
Mar 19, 2006
Messages
5
Reaction score
0
I'm really not agreeing with any of the advice on this post, no offense. If you think that having sex early will screw up any LTR you want to have, then it will. If you can realize that sex is simply sex, and that it doesn't mean anything other than what you and the chick make it mean, then you can do whatever you want. As far as emotionality goes, that is something that takes time to build. It is a totally separate animal than sex. One does not take the place of the other. Many ppl have sex to establish that emotional bond you are referring to, and that can make you closer to a girl, especially if you think maybe you want a LTR with her. Do not, however, think that having sex with this girl will keep you from sharing and building an emotional relationship with her. Hope this helps!
 
Joined
Mar 18, 2006
Messages
3,956
Reaction score
37
letmeshowyou said:
listen... if she'll let u hit - then hit
whats that got to do with a LTR, if she was worthy of a real relationship, she wouldn't let u smash so soon in the first place
EXACTLY!!!! She is not LTR material if she drops her panties so quickly!

If you do have a LTR with her then don't be surprised if she drops her panties so quickly for another dude! I prefer a LTR rather then a quick ho-hit but you have to have high standards and a great amount of trust for it to happen.
 
Top