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Interest vs Investment: Reduce Flaking and Have Her Chase You

tmac15

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Somebody answer this ? for me. I think it has to do with interest v. investment. You have all the indicators that a woman is interested. She goes out on dates with you. She returns your phone call, and text messages. Her body language and everything tells you she is in. Heck she even makes out with you.

But this is currently happening to me, how come she doesn't call to initiate things? I'm at the point where I don't even want to call her, because I feel like I would becoming off needy. Even though I don't call her everyday, it's maybe twice a week. When do you stop initiating things and make her invest and risk losing the girl(this has never happened to me before)?
 

pete101

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Lust said:
A few years ago, I had just discovered the seduction community, and was doing very well for a beginner. I was constantly approaching sets, getting IOIs and even pulling off quite a few numbers.

One HUGE barrier that I experienced, and I'm sure all of you have, was flaking. Lots. Of. Fvcking. Flaking.

Which was obviously annoying. I couldn't understand why I had these girls laughing, giggling, and hanging on to my every word, but still flaking. I could tell they were attracted, they were expressing enormous amounts of interest but when I called, tried to set up a Day 2, I'd get the usual bullsh*t.

"I'm sorry, I'm busy"
"I have lots of work to do recently"
"Sorry but I'm going out with my girlfriends"

Or, even better. They just don't pick up.

I pondered this for ages, and this was my major sticking point for around 6 months. Then I discovered our local community, and had one of the more experienced guys explain Investment vs Interest to me. And I clicked.

You see, when I, and most of the newbies, first started on our adventure to sexual stardom and self actualization, e.g. awesomeness ;) We were excited. We've just read the Mystery Method, or the Game, and we want to test these theories, these lines.

So we (Or the few that have balls enough) turn into approach machines and try out these lines. What did we find?

It FVCKING WORKS! YAY! We jump up in joy. We'd spit these routines out and find that girls were giggling and laughing, and giving us their opinions on stupid sh*t that we really didn't give half a damn about.

We'd barrage them routine after routine, line after line and they ate it up. They were interested. They could listen to us all day long. But how much did they put into the interaction? I want you guys to think back to the last set that flaked. How much did they actually put into the interaction? Yeah sure, they responded, they gave you their opinions on some light hearted funny topic, something fairly useless.

How much true FEELINGS did they put into the interaction?

How much EMOTION?

Did they share with you a secret that they have told no one about?

Did they put effort into the interaction?

Did you share an experience that they could not have with anyone else?

Or were they just giving you really mundane responses to shallow topics? They giggled and laughed at your jokes and banter, but they invested nothing. You were their entertainer.

Making a woman invest into the interaction is much more powerful than getting her showing interest.

If you invest 5 years into a long term relationship that goes nowhere, how hard is it to decide it's time to leave? It's excruciating. Why? Because you don't want all the emotion, the love, the time you've invested into this woman to go to waste.

Well, we can flip that, and have the woman experience a fear of loss. In your next interaction with a woman, try and draw out some investment. If you ask her a question, make her elaborate on her answer, ask her how she FEELS. Dig deep. Make her expose her thoughts/opinions/emotions/vulnerabilities/experiences to you...

Any woman can show interest, they even giggle at the fat, bald, low social value guy in the rarity that he says something amusing. Will they sleep with him? Probably not.

But when women INVEST, they want to PROTECT their investment. They WON you, they had to think of witty lines to keep you interested, they exposed a side of themselves they haven't to anyone else, they talked about their true, deep, feelings.

They fvcking deserve you, they put way too much effort into you for you to just leave. They will chase, they will fvck, they will do anything to have you (By the way, this is were jealousy plot lines really have their full effect) . This is much more powerful than focusing solely on keeping them interested. Interest is a temporary mind state. They may be having fun and in a good mood, they may have had a few drinks and feel flirty. When they wake up tomorrow, they will not answer you call.

Often, getting a girl to invest requires investing of your own. Be prepared to, it's not a one way street.

When gauging or calibrating for how solid my set is, or likeliness of flaking, I look for investment, not interest. It doesn't lie.

One thing that is extremely important is to make sure you are running attraction game while making her invest. Invest can be anything and doesn't neccessarily mean deep, meaningful talk, which is a much larger investment. When you do reach that point where larger investments is what you are after, the attraction game earlier on prevents you from LJBF'ed.

I realize this is quite long, but this is really an important concept to get down pat, before moving on to more difficult stuff.

Good luck.

-Lust.
this is what i was looking for :D great thread. +1 rep

can you give more clear examples of how to get her to invest in a conversation?

i can only think of her offering deep feelings or secrets but wouldn't know how to work that into a conversation while picking up.
 

corrector

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...and if you have the right looks then the women will invest, otherwise, they invest in another guy. They know who they want to invest in, and who they are going along with and will flake. Thanks for telling us stuff we already know.
 

Igetit!

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Maxtro said:
Theory without examples has little value.

All he was saying is that you need to get the girl to invest in your interactions.


Like if you go up to a girl and try to "game her",SHE HAS TO INVEST SOMETHING in the interaction.


You can't just stand there doing all the talking,making her laugh cracking jokes,and all she does is just stand there listening to you,she has to put something in.


An example would be for you to tell her something funny that once happened to you,then be like,"I bet nothing like that has ever happened to you before,right?",then that'll compel her to share of story of her own.



That's the investment Lust was talking about. The girl HAS TO CONTRIBUTE something to the interaction,otherwise you'll end up as a dancing monkey just entertaining her,then once the entertainment is done,she'll just walk off.
 

corrector

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Igetit! said:
All he was saying is that you need to get the girl to invest in your interactions.
Which she'll do if you have the looks.

Igetit said:
Like if you go up to a girl and try to "game her",SHE HAS TO INVEST SOMETHING in the interaction.
No...really? This has gone full circle. From people like Juggler suggesting that guys get discouraged and quit when they don't see the girl receprocate but don't realize they have to put in 90% into the iteraction at the very beginning, to now this.

Now, losers like Maxtro want to know HOW THE **** DO YOU GET A GIRL TO INVEST INTO THE INTERACTION -- OR ACTUALLY LIKE YOU?

Guess what....NO ANSWER. If a girl likes you she'll invest....no...really? What is next -- wait for the girl to initiate or give you very obvious IOI's?

Igetit said:
You can't just stand there doing all the talking,making her laugh cracking jokes,and all she does is just stand there listening to you,she has to put something in.
No...really? If people have to teach this here, then it's an IQ problem not a game problem.

Igetit said:
An example would be for you to tell her something funny that once happened to you,then be like,"I bet nothing like that has ever happened to you before,right?",then that'll compel her to share of story of her own.
Of course you are going to want to involve her in the conversation otherwise you are having a monologue. If there was anyone teaching people to give monologue presentations -- and now it is changing to advise people on what a conversation is, then that is beyond basic? Again, an IQ problem.

Igeit said:
That's the investment Lust was talking about. The girl HAS TO CONTRIBUTE something to the interaction,otherwise you'll end up as a dancing monkey just entertaining her,then once the entertainment is done,she'll just walk off.
That's right, you'll be mentally masturbating with the girl with your monologue, and then masturbating at home when she flakes on you. Have CONVERSATIONS, not MONOLOGUES with women! Lesson # 1.
 

Maxtro

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Igetit! said:
All he was saying is that you need to get the girl to invest in your interactions.


Like if you go up to a girl and try to "game her",SHE HAS TO INVEST SOMETHING in the interaction.


You can't just stand there doing all the talking,making her laugh cracking jokes,and all she does is just stand there listening to you,she has to put something in.


An example would be for you to tell her something funny that once happened to you,then be like,"I bet nothing like that has ever happened to you before,right?",then that'll compel her to share of story of her own.



That's the investment Lust was talking about. The girl HAS TO CONTRIBUTE something to the interaction,otherwise you'll end up as a dancing monkey just entertaining her,then once the entertainment is done,she'll just walk off.
In the vast majority of conversations I have with girls, they do most of the talking.

If a girl is putting little in, I figure that she's bored and I move on. Granted I have never just stood there telling stories making girls laugh.

I guess I've been getting the investment part down but completely fail on getting her interested.
 
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