interest vs. disinterest

[sprint]

OK so this girl was giving me some pretty big signs of interest. You know, laughing, telling jokes, good convo, etc. No kino from either of us but still... So as we are leaving where we were she starts walking in a different direction. I ask what she's up to and she says she has to go see a friend on another floor of the building. So whatever, I leave and go to my car. Lo and behold I see her in the parking deck (she doesn't see me) with no friend. So basically she lied.

So I'm wondering if all the signs of interest can be negated when being presented with such a sign of no interest. I mean lying just so you don't have to walk with me is pretty low. Now, there could be a good reason. Maybe she's shy, had to make a call, etc. But I'm not inclined to believe that. I'm thinking she was just being polite when I was with her or something.

So should i just forget this girl? I'm going to see her again in a couple weeks (for class) but should I bother trying to escalate with kino and such at this point? thanks for any advice.

 

[Igetit!]

You said that she was giving you some "pretty big" signs of interest. Well,my question to you is,What were you talking about right before she gave you these signs? What did the conversation consist of? It'll be easier to tell what what went down by analizing your conversation with her than what she did after the conversation was over.

 

[sprint]

You said that she was giving you some "pretty big" signs of interest. Well,my question to you is,What were you talking about right before she gave you these signs? What did the conversation consist of? It'll be easier to tell what what went down by analizing your conversation with her than what she did after the conversation was over.

hmmm... it was a bunch of different crap.

I was helping her with some homework and you know how we can just drift off topic. We probably sat there for a couple hours just making some small talk and doing problems. I'd say the jokes were fine since she was laughing and such. Nothing bad. We were making fun of this guy making noises like he was having sex or something. that was funny.

When we got done we started walking and I turned for the elevator and she kept going in a different direction. She was just mentioning things like thanks for the help, good luck with an interview (I have one coming up), and so forth. I said something like if she needs help again to let me know so she stayed for a sec. I mentioned that she didn't get a joke earlier (before we met, over a text message). Basically I had two options with a reply and I chose the non sexual one seeing as I had only spoken with her once before and didn't want to make things awkward. I told her about the other message I could have sent and she thought that was hilarious and then we parted ways. I don't know it seemed funny to me to mention it just to keep a good convo going a little longer.

So I'd say we didn't leave on a bad note or anything. She had in mind to walk straight as soon as we started to leave. I met her last week at some point and she did the same kind of thing. Except that time she had mentioned that she didn't know how she was getting home so I asked if she needed a ride but said her friend was on another floor (same excuse really).

That help clear anything up? I mean I honestly had no signs of not being interested inside. The only thing that struck me was that when she would accidently touch me she'd say sorry or something. I never had touched her though, even by accident. Maybe it's just that I showed no interest by not touching?

 

[Igetit!]

Man,I hate to say this,but I think that you might be headed for the friendzone. I said you "might" be. I say that because I've been in a similiar situation like that before. There was a girl was I liked at my job a couple of years ago. And I thought that she liked me because she did all the things that you just mentioned,(laughing,joking,good conversation). And zero kino.

But I misinterpeted the laughing,joking,etc. It's confusing because a woman can do EXACTLY the same things when she's interested as when she is not interested. Laughing can be an IOI,but she can also be laughing simply because you said something funny. Unless I'm mistaken,you said that you haven't said or done anything to show her your romantic interested. Well,if you have known this girl for a while,and regularly hang out or spend time with her,and all this time you have not shown any romantic/sexual interested towards her,then yeah,you're in the friendzone. You don't have to "screw up",or do something wrong to be friendzoned,all you have to do is be in a woman's presence for a long period of time without showing any interest. You'll fall into the friendzone by default. That's what I did over and over again. I thought because the girl was laughing and smiling,and joking with me,that I was making some sort of progress with her. I'd be six months down the line still thinking that because she laughed whenever I talked to her,that she liked me,when in her mind,the possibility of the 2 of us dating was done and over with 5 and a half months ago.

If you show your interest in her,and she smiles and laughs and kinos you whenever you show an sexual interest,then I would consider these to be IOIs. But don't mistake her laughing and joking for IOIs when she might just be laughing because you said something funny.

 

[sprint]

true that.

However, I've only known this girl for maybe a little under a week and met up with her twice, just for homework crap. I do neg her, use C&F and stuff. I just haven't incorporated any kino yet. I mean do girls kino first? I always thought that guys should be the ones to start the kino. But you're saying that if she's laughing and doesn't kino you then that's a sign of no interest?

I'm just trying to gage here. do you think it's worth it to try or should I just forget about her? I mean the lie with not walking is pretty lame on her part. No girl has ever done that to me before. That's why I thought it was strange.

 

[Igetit!]

I think that you should go for it. Ask her out. But don't say,"Do you wanna go out?" Don't do that. Let her know that you are going something where,then ask if she wants to come along. But yeah,negs and c+f,use all of that.

 

[Infamous_Wolf]

My advice man? DO NOT WORRY ABOUT IT! It doesn't matter. What is so d*mn special about this girl that you gotta be frettin' about like you are. Whatever reason this girl didn't walk to your car with you or whatever, it doesn't matter at all. the past is done. focus on what's goin on right now. You can put out all the negs and C&F you want, nothing is gonna happen until you make a move. that is your job. enough with all this gauging of interest. If you just made the next move, you would know automatically. if she rejects, that doesn't matter either! because there are a bunch more girls out there just waiting for the Don Juan to come and sweep them off their feet. Can you be a Don Juan my man?