interest level

[pancakepalace]

Hi guys,

Man, I am in a situation I cannot understand which has to do with interest level.

I have been dating this girl for about 6 months in LDR. We use to see each other a lot since I would make 1 week trips over there quite often. She came less often.

Her interest was sky-high until about a month back when she suddenly came out and told me a zillion things she didn't like about us. This was totally out of the blue.

We talked about things for a few days and then she left. For the last month we've been talking things over and she says all is cool now. Some of the problems she came out with were real and we both decided to work on them. Others seem more like bull****.

Although she says all is good, she doesn't call as much as before and she doesn't seem to want and come to visit. I got tired of this and decided it was enough. After some talk, I decided we should break up. She freaked and said she didn't want to. This surprised me cause her interest seemed way low. After thinking about it a few days, I said we could try to work it out.

It has been a few weeks since then and she still seems uninterested. Her emails are colder than usual, she calls less and tonight she told me she didn't want to come visit next week cause she didn't feel like spending 5 hours in the car to see me.

I don't get it. She acts like she is out but talks likes she wants in.

BTW, I called her on her low interest.

Annoying...my interest is on a skyrocket downwards because of this.

thanks guys,
pel

 

[flexion_]

Judge a woman by what she does and not what she says.

 

[pancakepalace]

Good Advice,

It is hard when you like a girl because you stick to what she says. Although, now I am slowly getting away from her... feels nice. I definitely won't put much energy in it for now.

 

[drZaius09]

Originally posted by pancakepalace
Good Advice,

It is hard when you like a girl because you stick to what she says. Although, now I am slowly getting away from her... feels nice. I definitely won't put much energy in it for now.

Good, I'm glad you came full circle before I had to come in here and lambast you.

Go have fun with other people, people closer to home. You know the score.

 

[optimist prime]

Dr. Zaius, Dr. Zaius, oh Dr. Zaius,
Dr. Zaius, Dr. Zaius, oh Dr. Zaius,
Dr. Zaius, Dr. Zaius, oh oh oh Dr. Zaius."

 

[JoeBlack]

If I were you I would act cold yourself.

You've been honest, pointed out her low interest and she hasn't responded.

So, go cold yourself, rarely call her and it might give her the kick she needs... or... the whole thing might fizzle out, which it probably would have anyway if it does.

 

[drZaius09]

Looks like I've got my own personal choir. :rockon:

 

[NewMan]

Don't waste any more time.

 

[pancakepalace]

Hi guys,

Well I called it good on her. Basically told her I wanted to break up cause I felt there was no futur between us. She freaked and offered to visit right away. I hesitated really long and she kept trying to convince me. I finally said I will think about it for a few days. During that time, she sent me a bunch of emails saying how much it would be a bad decision to stop the relationship now. She said she was sorry and wanted to come. So I called her and we talked and finally she is coming this friday. I am not really getting my hopes up though. She needs to prove her interest to me before I take things seriously.

So I have a question.

Dr. Love says when interest goes below 50% there is no turning back. What if her interest is at 60% lets say. my questions:

1) How do you pull it back up effectively and does this take time (I assume it does)? Did anybody ever pull this?

2) When in a situation like mine, how do you verify if a girl's interest is below the point of no return?

Thanks guys.

pel

 

[pancakepalace]

Well, guess what? She pretty much answered the question for me.

Friday she calls and can't come up because of the plan crash in TO. Her mom was at the airport and her flight was delayed and she had to stay an extra day. Next day, can't again because she just got this exciting gig which pays good money. So, she says I'll be coming down sunday morning....

She calls tonight and seems uneasy and tries to find a bunch of excuses.

I say 'look, this is ridiculous. the relationship is over'.

Man, that girl played around with my emotions like I am a rag doll.

Luckily, I saw an old friend by fluke yesterday and got her number. She stills seems into me although we never did anything in the past, there was always a little something. We will see...

What the ? like is this anyhow...