Interest Level

[SW15]

If she is saying YES she likes you!!!

This is really what a male is looking for in his interactions. Few women will initiate in the early stages, either online or in real life initial meeting scenarios. Some women will give IOIs, but this has been dwindling in the last 15-20 years. I've had conversations with people in real life about how Millennial and Gen Z women are poorer at displaying interest through body language. That's actually made real life approaching more difficult, in addition to the vast tech changes affecting real life approaching (earbuds/headphones, smartphones, and social media in general).

 

[CornbreadFed]

High interest is not a permanent state; it is a starting point. Just like buying a bike you’re excited about, if you lose interest later, it doesn’t mean your excitement was fake, it just means something within yourself or about the bike changed your feelings towards it.

Not really, the higher the initial genuine interest, the more leeway you have to screw things up and chances you get with her. This is why you have girls still chasing after exes, refusing to date other men after dating a certain guy, and staying with guys that cheated on them because their interest level was high. There are women in my past that I could just call up and fvck right now if I wanted to because their genuine interest level in me was that high. What you are referring to is basically rubber band interest where a girl is temporarily hyper-inflating an interest level for a guy because she is in a scarcity mindset.

 

[Clockwerk50]

Not really, the higher the initial genuine interest, the more leeway you have to screw things up and chances you get with her. This is why you have girls still chasing after exes, refusing to date other men after dating a certain guy, and staying with guys that cheated on them because their interest level was high. There are women in my past that I could just call up and fvck right now if I wanted to because their genuine interest level in me was that high. What you are referring to is basically rubber band interest where a girl is temporarily hyper-inflating an interest level for a guy because she is in a scarcity mindset.

All the examples you mentioned are really about sustaining desire through a strong start by using pleasure and pain techniques—mixing attention with a bit of distance. However, like I said, high interest fades if left alone; neglect it, smother it, or starve it of attention, and it dies. Your examples actually confuse desire with interest since they’re not the same thing.

According to Merriam-Webster:

• Interest is “the feeling of wanting to learn more about something or to be involved in something.”
• Desire is “a strong feeling of wanting to have something or wishing for something to happen.”

Interest is about curiosity or initial attraction, while desire is a deeper, more intense feeling that drives ongoing connection. Your examples illustrate desire because they focus on maintaining and nurturing that connection over time, not just the high interest at the start. @RangerMIke goes a deeper in this topic on another post if you want to check it out.

Is it possible for one event to drastically impact the course of a man's dating/sex life?

whereas in 2001-05, she'd need to physically be on her computer The computer era of online dating had some interesting tactical rules that were promoted. Around the early to mid 2000s, I remember reading some advice articles that stated not to respond to messages between Friday afternoon and...

www.sosuave.net

 

[Clockwerk50]

Like the woman who chatted with me outside for 2 and a half hours after our 1st date, wanted to drive me to work, wanted to drive me to an appointment, texted me nonstop, and begged me for a 2nd date multiple times...only to end up hating me before the 2nd date had a chance to happen.

If you'd made a move when she showed that much interest, the move would’ve kept the connection going instead of it fading away.

 

[BaronOfHair]

The more convinced I am she's into me, the more of an idiot I'm going to feel like if it turns out I'm wrong

This crippling fear you're experiencing stems from your distorted, extreme, and insane beliefs about not just women, but life more generally. Start modifying those beliefs, or/and replacing them with saner ones, and you won't be debilitated emotionally to the degree you are now, hombre

 

[CornbreadFed]

All the examples you mentioned are really about sustaining desire through a strong start by using pleasure and pain techniques—mixing attention with a bit of distance. However, like I said, high interest fades if left alone; neglect it, smother it, or starve it of attention, and it dies. Your examples actually confuse desire with interest since they’re not the same thing.

You cannot game or manipulate your way into genuine interest & desire. It is either there from the start or you are not her type and will never be able to reach that level. Every girl has a type of guy that they have wet dreams over and if you match or come close to that image then you will start in a cheat code position with her. If you are starting from a non-genuine interest starting point then yes, her interest can fade at any given moment because you were never top priority in her mind. Unless you are caught in a rebound situation like I mentioned earlier. Otherwise, she essentially settled for you which means she is going to be open to other options and more critical of you. If you are not her ideal type then she will test you more, make you wait, and try and look for reasons to swap you out when necessary. Otherwise, she will throw Mr. Sunshine softball pitches and give him a pension plan. However, unless you have been "that guy" to a woman, you will have trouble understanding what I am talking about.

 

[Bingo-Player]

You missed a few points

Womens interest can be circumstantial I.E if you meet on holiday or a group activity setting it can be artificially high just due to her being in a relaxed / care free or happy state

I've seen this a thousand times where a guy will meet a girl on a holiday the romance will burn hot and fast and then everyone goes home and all of a sudden the woman realises there are no feelings

It can happen in a much shorter time frame in something like a night out too especially when alcohol is involved

Men dont really make emotional or situational based interest evaluations its usually " is she hot and is she compliant"

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Also watch out for Love bombers as they are out there , will usually show extreme interest from the word go

 

[Clockwerk50]

You cannot game or manipulate your way into genuine interest & desire. It is either there from the start or you are not her type and will never be able to reach that level. Every girl has a type of guy that they have wet dreams over and if you match or come close to that image then you will start in a cheat code position with her. If you are starting from a non-genuine interest starting point then yes, her interest can fade at any given moment because you were never top priority in her mind. Unless you are caught in a rebound situation like I mentioned earlier. Otherwise, she essentially settled for you which means she is going to be open to other options and more critical of you. If you are not her ideal type then she will test you more, make you wait, and try and look for reasons to swap you out when necessary. Otherwise, she will throw Mr. Sunshine softball pitches and give him a pension plan. However, unless you have been "that guy" to a woman, you will have trouble understanding what I am talking about.

You just wrote a long-ass paragraph to explain exactly what I already said: interest is the starting point. You’re just using dramatic, layered terms like “genuine,” “fake,” and “cheat code” to make high, medium, and low interest sound more complex than they really are, which doesn’t change the core fact: interest levels vary, and calling it “fake” doesn’t make it a separate category.