Interest getting low and visiting her this weekend

[Romjuan]

short story:

Met a girl. We got a long great. Both of us have great chemistry. Long distance though. We met 3 weeks, havnt seen each other since. weve spken on the phone about 4 times during this time. two weeks ago she asked me to visit it her this upcoming weekend, which i am. Now i know interest level is lowering because obviously we havent seen each other and are talks have been non existant (because of the distance thing). Im still coming out to see her this weekend but now shes saying for me to hang out with our mutual friend during some of the time because she'll be busy with somethings that weekend as well.

Im not sure if she was implying staying the night with the mutual friend or if she just meant part of the day while she was gone. Mix in the fact her IL is lowering not sure what to do. Any suggestions how you guys would go about this situation?

 

[Jeffst1980]

A long distance relationship isn't really a "relationship" at all. How long have you been together? Is there any end in sight to this distance thing?

I think you should tell her that you want to take a break from exclusivity until the distance issue is resolved. Be honest and tell her you feel that she's become distracted, which isn't fair to either one of you. Then, go date other women (remember: this is not as hard as it seems) and keep contact with her to a minimum. When the distance thing gets resolved, she will VERY LIKELY come running back to you, and you will have "maintained" the relationship, so to speak.. only on your own terms.

This is the statistically "correct" move; unfortunately, the overwhelming majority of men in this situation delude themselves into thinking that they can bring the IL back up in an LDR without any kind of "break." This simply doesn't happen. If you sense that her IL is low, it is low.

I hope you will post a follow after the weekend. I'm curious if you will pull the trigger, end it, and keep all the power for a future relationship, or if you will passively allow things to disintegrate out of desperation.

Don't mean to be harsh, just want to point out that some things are within your control.

 

[Colossus]

Some key details are needed:

How many x have you hung out?
Have you had sex?
How far away is she?
Are you exclusive?

From the info you gave us, I'd say dont waste your time. Interested women will want you all to themselves, not pawn you off on another friend. This sounds like high risk/low reward.

 

[amoka]

Romjan,
Nobody here knows what this girl meant when she said you should hangout with her friend. The only person, at the moment, that know what she meant is her and the only person that can FIND out what she meant is YOU. I suggest you ask her what she meant... if it meant you should spend the time with her friend, that should give you more a reason to cancel your trip all together.